{"id":4287,"date":"2018-10-29T18:16:25","date_gmt":"2018-10-29T18:16:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?page_id=4287"},"modified":"2025-10-06T17:32:37","modified_gmt":"2025-10-06T16:32:37","slug":"high-conflict-divorce-guide","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/high-conflict-divorce-guide\/","title":{"rendered":"High Conflict Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"

[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”Header Section” _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”gcid-156bd995-9438-4471-a09b-9ea817e75fdf” use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_stops=”gcid-51f97206-39f4-4cf8-bd7e-fa63541b6292 0%|gcid-156bd995-9438-4471-a09b-9ea817e75fdf 100%” background_color_gradient_overlays_image=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”gcid-51f97206-39f4-4cf8-bd7e-fa63541b6292″ background_color_gradient_end=”gcid-156bd995-9438-4471-a09b-9ea817e75fdf” background_image=”https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/BannerHeader-HighConflict.jpg” min_height=”215.2px” custom_padding=”||30px|||” bottom_divider_style=”curve” bottom_divider_color=”#FFFFFF” bottom_divider_height=”50px” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{%22gcid-156bd995-9438-4471-a09b-9ea817e75fdf%22:%91%22background_color%22,%22colorEnd%22%93,%22gcid-51f97206-39f4-4cf8-bd7e-fa63541b6292%22:%91%22colorStart%22%93}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font_size=”20px” header_text_align=”center” text_orientation=”center” background_layout=”dark” max_width=”800px” module_alignment=”center” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

If you are in a high conflict divorce, you need specialist support<\/h1>\n

You\u2019re in the right place.<\/span><\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_button button_url=”https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/contact\/” url_new_window=”on” button_text=”Book a Free Consultation” button_alignment=”center” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_button][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Cuts & bruises” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_text_color=”#4F4D4E” text_font_size=”20px” header_text_align=”center” text_orientation=”center” background_layout=”dark” max_width=”800px” module_alignment=”center” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

Just as not all domestic violence involves cuts and bruises, not all high conflict situations can be easy to spot, from the inside or the outside.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

You might not call it high conflict. You just know you feel trapped, lost, and alone.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe you\u2019ve got so accustomed to your spouse\u2019s behaviour that it just feels normal. But your body knows. You live with a sense of dread, and your mind is constantly jumping around, trying to figure out how to cope with the latest crisis. Maybe your digestion\u2019s a mess, or your skin. Maybe you just feel so completely ground down you don\u2019t know what to think anymore.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Whether you suspect something\u2019s \u2018off\u2019 with how your spouse or soon-to-be-ex interacts with you, or you know for sure, you\u2019re in the right place.<\/span><\/p>\n

Because high conflict divorce doesn\u2019t follow the usual patterns. Being collaborative and amicable is not possible. Sometimes even trying to do this puts you (and your children) at risk of further harm.<\/span><\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Does your marriage tick 5 or more” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”2em” header_2_text_color=”gcid-17db6291-0856-4f73-b197-adfbe690f9f7″ max_width=”700px” module_alignment=”center” global_colors_info=”{%22gcid-9c4644bb-6d94-4789-ace5-09644b656884%22:%91%22link_text_color%22%93,%22gcid-17db6291-0856-4f73-b197-adfbe690f9f7%22:%91%22header_2_text_color%22%93}”]<\/p>\n

<\/span>Does your marriage tick 5 or more of these boxes?<\/span><\/h2>\n

[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”0px||0px|||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blurb title=”One of you controls the other financially and\/or emotionally” use_icon=”on” font_icon=”5||divi||400″ icon_color=”#C899A5″ icon_placement=”left” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_font=”Raleway||||||||” header_font_size=”17px” header_line_height=”1.4em” custom_margin=”0px||0px||true|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||true|false” header_font_size_last_edited=”off|desktop” custom_css_blurb_title=”padding-top: 6px;” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title=”Frequent periods of hostility” use_icon=”on” font_icon=”5||divi||400″ icon_color=”#C899A5″ icon_placement=”left” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_font=”Raleway||||||||” 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header_font_size_last_edited=”off|desktop” custom_css_blurb_title=”padding-top: 6px;” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_heading title=”If you\u2019re reading this and thinking, \u2018yes, this is my life!\u2019, then you are definitely in the right place. ” admin_label=”If you\u2019re reading this and thinking, \u2018yes, this is my life!\u2019, then you are definitely in the right place. ” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” title_text_align=”center” title_text_color=”#dcb73e” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_heading][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”#F9ECEC” min_height=”50.7px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”#064239″ min_height=”599px” custom_margin=”-78px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_testimonial author=”- Kelly-Lou -” quote_icon=”off” _builder_version=”4.27.0″ body_text_align=”center” body_font_size=”20px” body_line_height=”1.4em” author_font=”Parisienne||||||||” author_text_align=”center” author_text_color=”#EDEDED” author_font_size=”24px” background_color=”gcid-156bd995-9438-4471-a09b-9ea817e75fdf” background_layout=”dark” module_alignment=”center” custom_css_testimonial_description=”padding: 0;||margin: 0;” custom_css_testimonial_author=”padding: 0;||margin: 0;” border_color_all=”gcid-17db6291-0856-4f73-b197-adfbe690f9f7″ global_colors_info=”{%22gcid-17db6291-0856-4f73-b197-adfbe690f9f7%22:%91%22border_color_all%22%93,%22gcid-156bd995-9438-4471-a09b-9ea817e75fdf%22:%91%22background_color%22%93}”]<\/p>\n

\u201cI liked that you were a high-conflict specialist, a recovering lawyer and mediator and you could help me to reach a settlement using a solicitor in the background. I\u2019d researched a lot but I didn\u2019t know what to do with it and needed my money to go as far as it could. I needed value for money and you gave me that with a sense of humour and empathy.<\/p>\n

Our online consultation showed me you understood me. I liked your style, honesty and you felt trustworthy. I had confidence you understood my situation and you could help ME\u201d<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_testimonial][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ background_color=”gcid-c131dda4-06f0-49e7-8d97-27c30a04cec0″ global_colors_info=”{%22gcid-c131dda4-06f0-49e7-8d97-27c30a04cec0%22:%91%22background_color%22%93}” custom_margin=”-94px|||||”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” custom_padding=”||0px|||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”2em” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

<\/span>Getting Support<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/EmmaHeptonstall-1475-Edit_WEB.jpg” alt=”Emma Heptonstall listening to her client.” title_text=”Emma Heptonstall listening to her client.” _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

Before you say anything, I want you to know that you deserve\u00a0support<\/strong>. More than that – you\u00a0need\u00a0it<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Why?<\/p>\n

Because in a high conflict situation, it\u2019s hard to see what\u2019s really happening. Often, you think it\u2019s your fault. Or you think there must be some truth in what he says or he wouldn\u2019t say it. Or you think what he\u2019s saying and doing isn\u2019t that bad.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019ve been emotionally abused for years your sense of perspective goes.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”0px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

\u00a0You\u2019re not sure what\u2019s real and what\u2019s not.<\/p>\n

A professional, confidential, independent voice can support you, challenge you and help you to see things as they\u00a0really are,\u00a0however painful that is. And that is the start of everything.<\/p>\n

When you deal with your emotions of grief and sadness, you are able to rebuild your self-esteem and move forward.<\/p>\n

You are open to learning what you need to do to get your divorce done whilst navigating conflict.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_button button_url=”https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/contact\/” url_new_window=”on” button_text=”Book a Free Consultation” button_alignment=”center” _builder_version=”4.24.2″ _module_preset=”default” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_button][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ disabled_on=”off|off|off” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_color=”gcid-156bd995-9438-4471-a09b-9ea817e75fdf” background_color_gradient_start=”rgba(0,0,0,0.13)” background_color_gradient_end=”gcid-51f97206-39f4-4cf8-bd7e-fa63541b6292″ background_image=”https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/DivorceCoach-SacredGeometry-WheelOfLife.png” background_size=”initial” background_position=”center_left” custom_padding=”27px||27px||true|” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{%22gcid-156bd995-9438-4471-a09b-9ea817e75fdf%22:%91%22background_color%22%93,%22gcid-51f97206-39f4-4cf8-bd7e-fa63541b6292%22:%91%22colorStart%22%93}”][et_pb_row make_equal=”on” _builder_version=”4.27.0″ custom_css_main_element=”align-items: top;” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

<\/span>I\u2019m in a high conflict relationship.
What now?<\/span><\/h2>\n

Perhaps you\u2019re already aware you\u2019re in a high conflict situation. You\u2019ve read copious amounts online about Narcissism, Borderline Personality Disorder, Gaslighting and you recognise your situation?<\/p>\n

Now what?<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve probably already realised that this knowledge alone doesn\u2019t help you deal with your situation. If you\u2019ve been searching for \u2018answers\u2019, know that in order to move forward, you need to stop looking for answers.<\/p>\n

The solution lies with you and a change of your focus.<\/p>\n

Yes, you heard me right, the solution lies with you<\/strong>, but probably not in the way you think.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”gcid-c131dda4-06f0-49e7-8d97-27c30a04cec0″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” custom_padding=”40px|40px|0px|40px|false|true” global_colors_info=”{%22gcid-c131dda4-06f0-49e7-8d97-27c30a04cec0%22:%91%22background_color%22%93}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

<\/span>How can I help?<\/span><\/h2>\n

[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”3_5,2_5″ _builder_version=”4.16″ background_color=”gcid-c131dda4-06f0-49e7-8d97-27c30a04cec0″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” custom_padding=”7px|40px|31px|40px|false|true” global_colors_info=”{%22gcid-c131dda4-06f0-49e7-8d97-27c30a04cec0%22:%91%22background_color%22%93}”][et_pb_column type=”3_5″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/EmmaHeptonstall-1419-Edit_WEB.jpg” alt=”Emma Heptonstall working from her laptop” title_text=”Emma Heptonstall working from her laptop” _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”2_5″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

I am the UK’s only accredited High Conflict Diversion Specialist. I know the approaches that will help you (and those that definitely won’t). Together we can come up with strategies that serve you to navigate your high conflict situation.<\/span><\/p>\n

When you work with me 1:1 you can be confident that I’ll listen, and understand the realities of your situation. And you’ll see that there is a way through for you.<\/span><\/p>\n

I offer a range of 1:1 coaching options to suit you. You aren’t on your own with this.<\/span><\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_button button_url=”https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/one-to-one-coaching\/” button_text=”Explore 1 to 1 coaching” button_alignment=”center” _builder_version=”4.24.2″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_button][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_button button_url=”https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/contact\/” url_new_window=”on” button_text=”Book a Free Consultation” button_alignment=”center” _builder_version=”4.24.2″ _module_preset=”default” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_button][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you are in a high conflict divorce, you need specialist support You\u2019re in the right place.Just as not all domestic violence involves cuts and bruises, not all high conflict situations can be easy to spot, from the inside or the outside.\u00a0 You might not call it high conflict. You just know you feel trapped, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":17527,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-4287","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P6aDhr-179","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4287","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4287"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4287\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17527"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4287"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}