[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ text_font_size=”16px” header_text_align=”justify” header_text_color=”#c5b2b1″ header_2_text_align=”justify” header_2_text_color=”#c984a4″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” text_orientation=”justified” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
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Today, the middle Monday in January is famously known as Blue Monday.<\/em> The story goes that this is the day we all feel at our most miserable. In Blue Monday? You choose<\/em>, we look at this media narrative and consider how it doesn’t have to be true for you.<\/p>\n Blue Monday is when the post-Christmas credit card bill hits your letterbox. It\u2019s over two weeks into the year, and chances are those good habits and intentions you set on January 1st<\/sup> have started to slip, or at least feel like a drag. Maybe you\u2019re doing dry January and desperate for a G&T. Or maybe the gym doesn\u2019t have quite the appeal it did last week.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And, while I don\u2019t have a crystal ball to see what the weather will be like, chances are, if you\u2019re in the UK, the sky will be more grey than bright too. There\u2019s every reason to feel blue.<\/p>\n The truth is, a bit like Divorce Monday<\/a>, Blue Monday is more media fairytale than destiny. There\u2019s no magic about the day to mean it has to bring you down. In fact, reframing Blue Monday is a good way to reinvigorate yourself and carry on carrying on!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n If today is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year, then tomorrow you\u2019re on your way back up, right? And you have the whole year ahead of you to own. It\u2019s just a day and as we\u2019ve already discussed, you get to choose your mood and your decisions.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Sometimes, circumstances are set against you. If you\u2019re at the end of your credit limit, your ex is being a four-star pillock and the daily grind deep in winter is making you feel low, which honestly is ok. It\u2019s happening and there\u2019s no denying it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When I say you get to choose your mood I don\u2019t mean you pretend your reality isn\u2019t happening. If it\u2019s raining outside, putting on sun cream and pretending it\u2019s July is just likely to leave you hypothermic \u2013 you\u2019re not going to change the weather. It is honest and valid to recognise that life is hard.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The choice is about what you do next. That\u2019s where you get to make a difference. And sometimes, the best thing you can do is stop. Rest. Seek help and support if you need it.<\/p>\n This weekend, I ran the first-ever Get Divorce Ready Live in London. It was fantastic to have so many divorcing women in one room on Winnie The Pooh Day! It would be easy to expect a room full of Eeyores, but no! These ladies were enthusiastic, engaged and smiling. I experienced chatter, banter, and connection throughout the day. We talked about changing your point of view, about decisions to change.<\/p>\n Sometimes the best thing you can do is flip your story. Finances at zero, weather shocking, relationship with your ex at rock bottom, mood low? Then there\u2019s nowhere to go but up. Make a list of what and who you do have in your corner, and start to focus on that.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sometimes the best thing you can do is make a plan. Or remember one small thing that makes you feel a little better: a walk outside, coffee with a friend, making a to-do list, reading a book. And do it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n You get to decide whether Blue Monday is a reason to rest, hibernate and gather your strength (which can be a good call), or a time to look forward, create a vision for 2020 and start taking action (which can also be a good call).<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n However much Blue Monday is a media creation, it\u2019s also an opportunity. It\u2019s a time to pause. As we\u2019ve seen, you get to decide what it means to you. And then, you act accordingly. A decision is all very well, but until you make your move, it counts for nothing.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Today is the first Monday after Get Divorce Ready Live! As you read this I\u2019m coming down from the adrenaline high of it all. It\u2019s going to be a day where my team and I reflect on what worked well and what could be better for next time. We\u2019ll be looking at the testimonials and comments of the delegates that participated to learn lessons to make the next event even more awesome.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Unfortunately, in the corporate world at least, most people who attend conferences and events have a very nice time, and are all buzzed up on the day, but then go away and do nothing. All that knowledge, all those new networks left to wither and die. I really hope that won\u2019t happen with my Get Divorce Ready attendees, as we put a lot of work into creating workbooks and having a personalised action focus to the day.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n But, ultimately, I can\u2019t do the work for them. It\u2019s up to those women who attended to make their next move. And I\u2019m confident they will, because they were action-takers in the first place \u2013 they got their ticket and they showed up. It was nerve-wracking for me, designing and running my first live event. And I\u2019m grateful to every single person involved, from the attendees, to the speakers, to the behind the scenes support for making it happen. Sometimes these things need a leap of faith, and, together, we made it.<\/p>\n For me, it\u2019ll be another day of clients and calls. I hope, for the women who came on Saturday, it\u2019s a day to move forward in their journey. They have the tools to create their personalised plan, they have answers to their financial and legal questions, and they can put the wheels in motion. For some, that might mean reconciliation rather than divorce at all. Others may start putting in boundaries around communication. For others, it might mean untangling financial knots that have been long neglected.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n If you didn\u2019t attend, you can still decide to act. What\u2019s Blue Monday going to mean for you? How are you going to move forward with your divorce?<\/p>\n Whether it\u2019s a time to rest and recuperate, or a time to do the thing you\u2019ve been putting off forever, my book, \u2018How To Be A Lady Who Leaves\u2019 is a gentle, clear, action-focussed way to start. You\u2019ll get an overview of everything you need to know about preparing, emotionally, practically and legally, for divorce. And what order to do it in.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n You can get your hands on a copy here<\/a> At \u00a314.99 it\u2019s a no-brainer.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n So let make sure this Blue Monday works for you. If you want more support as you navigate your divorce decisions and actions, that\u2019s just what I\u2019m here for.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Just book in a call<\/a> and we\u2019ll take it from there.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Emma Heptonstall,<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/strong><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self-study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Blue Monday? You Choose. Today, the middle Monday in January is famously known as Blue Monday. The story goes that this is the day we all feel at our most miserable. In Blue Monday? You choose, we look at this media narrative and consider how it doesn’t have to be true for you. Blue […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":14686,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":" \u00a0<\/p> Today, the middle Monday in January is famously known as Blue Monday.<\/em> The story goes that this is the day we all feel at our most miserable. In Blue Monday? You choose<\/em>, we look at this media narrative and consider how it doesn't have to be true for you.<\/p> Blue Monday is when the post-Christmas credit card bill hits your letterbox. It\u2019s over two weeks into the year, and chances are those good habits and intentions you set on January 1st<\/sup> have started to slip, or at least feel like a drag. Maybe you\u2019re doing dry January and desperate for a G&T. Or maybe the gym doesn\u2019t have quite the appeal it did last week.<\/p> \u00a0<\/p> And, while I don\u2019t have a crystal ball to see what the weather will be like, chances are, if you\u2019re in the UK, the sky will be more grey than bright too. There\u2019s every reason to feel blue.<\/p> The truth is, a bit like Divorce Monday<\/a>, Blue Monday is more media fairytale than destiny. There\u2019s no magic about the day to mean it has to bring you down. In fact, reframing Blue Monday is a good way to reinvigorate yourself and carry on carrying on!<\/p> \u00a0<\/p> If today is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year, then tomorrow you\u2019re on your way back up, right? And you have the whole year ahead of you to own. It\u2019s just a day and as we\u2019ve already discussed, you get to choose your mood and your decisions.<\/p> \u00a0<\/p> \u00a0<\/strong><\/p> Sometimes, circumstances are set against you. If you\u2019re at the end of your credit limit, your ex is being a four-star pillock and the daily grind deep in winter is making you feel low, which honestly is ok. It\u2019s happening and there\u2019s no denying it.<\/p> \u00a0<\/p> When I say you get to choose your mood I don\u2019t mean you pretend your reality isn\u2019t happening. If it\u2019s raining outside, putting on sun cream and pretending it\u2019s July is just likely to leave you hypothermic \u2013 you\u2019re not going to change the weather. It is honest and valid to recognise that life is hard.<\/p> \u00a0<\/p> The choice is about what you do next. That\u2019s where you get to make a difference. And sometimes, the best thing you can do is stop. Rest. Seek help and support if you need it.<\/p> This weekend, I ran the first-ever Get Divorce Ready Live in London. It was fantastic to have so many divorcing women in one room on Winnie The Pooh Day! It would be easy to expect a room full of Eeyores, but no! These ladies were enthusiastic, engaged and smiling. I experienced chatter, banter, and connection throughout the day. We talked about changing your point of view, about decisions to change.<\/p> Sometimes the best thing you can do is flip your story. Finances at zero, weather shocking, relationship with your ex at rock bottom, mood low? Then there\u2019s nowhere to go but up. Make a list of what and who you do have in your corner, and start to focus on that.<\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Sometimes the best thing you can do is make a plan. Or remember one small thing that makes you feel a little better: a walk outside, coffee with a friend, making a to-do list, reading a book. And do it.<\/p> \u00a0<\/p> You get to decide whether Blue Monday is a reason to rest, hibernate and gather your strength (which can be a good call), or a time to look forward, create a vision for 2020 and start taking action (which can also be a good call).<\/p> \u00a0<\/strong><\/p> \u00a0<\/strong><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> However much Blue Monday is a media creation, it\u2019s also an opportunity. It\u2019s a time to pause. As we\u2019ve seen, you get to decide what it means to you. And then, you act accordingly. A decision is all very well, but until you make your move, it counts for nothing.<\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Today is the first Monday after Get Divorce Ready Live! As you read this I\u2019m coming down from the adrenaline high of it all. It\u2019s going to be a day where my team and I reflect on what worked well and what could be better for next time. We\u2019ll be looking at the testimonials and comments of the delegates that participated to learn lessons to make the next event even more awesome.<\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Unfortunately, in the corporate world at least, most people who attend conferences and events have a very nice time, and are all buzzed up on the day, but then go away and do nothing. All that knowledge, all those new networks left to wither and die. I really hope that won\u2019t happen with my Get Divorce Ready attendees, as we put a lot of work into creating workbooks and having a personalised action focus to the day.<\/p> \u00a0<\/p> But, ultimately, I can\u2019t do the work for them. It\u2019s up to those women who attended to make their next move. And I\u2019m confident they will, because they were action-takers in the first place \u2013 they got their ticket and they showed up. It was nerve-wracking for me, designing and running my first live event. And I\u2019m grateful to every single person involved, from the attendees, to the speakers, to the behind the scenes support for making it happen. Sometimes these things need a leap of faith, and, together, we made it.<\/p> For me, it\u2019ll be another day of clients and calls. I hope, for the women who came on Saturday, it\u2019s a day to move forward in their journey. They have the tools to create their personalised plan, they have answers to their financial and legal questions, and they can put the wheels in motion. For some, that might mean reconciliation rather than divorce at all. Others may start putting in boundaries around communication. For others, it might mean untangling financial knots that have been long neglected.<\/p> \u00a0<\/p> If you didn\u2019t attend, you can still decide to act. What\u2019s Blue Monday going to mean for you? How are you going to move forward with your divorce?<\/p> Whether it\u2019s a time to rest and recuperate, or a time to do the thing you\u2019ve been putting off forever, my book, \u2018How To Be A Lady Who Leaves\u2019 is a gentle, clear, action-focussed way to start. You\u2019ll get an overview of everything you need to know about preparing, emotionally, practically and legally, for divorce. And what order to do it in.<\/p> \u00a0<\/p> You can get your hands on a copy here<\/a> At \u00a314.99 it\u2019s a no-brainer.<\/p> \u00a0<\/p> So let make sure this Blue Monday works for you. If you want more support as you navigate your divorce decisions and actions, that\u2019s just what I\u2019m here for.<\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Just book in a call<\/a> and we\u2019ll take it from there.<\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Emma Heptonstall,<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/strong><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self-study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14557","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-i-want-to-leave-my-husband","category-divorce-support"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/Copy-of-Copy-of-EH_BlogImage-13.png?fit=1000%2C516&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6aDhr-3MN","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14557","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14557"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14557\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14686"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14557"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14557"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14557"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/span>It’s not your destiny<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>You Choose<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>You don’t have to be Eeyore<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Make your move<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>It starts with you<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>How to be a Lady Who Leaves<\/span><\/h2>\n
Blue Monday? You Choose.<\/strong><\/h1>
It's not your destiny<\/h2>
You Choose<\/h2>
You don't have to be Eeyore<\/h2>
Make your move<\/h2>
It starts with you<\/h2>
How to be a Lady Who Leaves<\/h2>