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One of the biggest worries when it comes to divorce is money. There is no getting around the fact that divorce costs money (though you may be eligible for fee exemptions and other support). And there\u2019s no getting around that for many divorcing couples, money is one of the big flash-points for conflict.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n If there\u2019s not a lot of money to go around it can leave you feeling stuck. You\u2019ve decided you want to divorce, but now what? You don\u2019t have money to throw at legal battles; you can\u2019t afford to set up home on your own.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n It is not impossible to divorce when money is tight. In <\/span>How to divorce when money is tight <\/em>we explore all the resources you are likely to have available for free, or at low cost. So you can still take control of your divorce, in a way that works for you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n I always tell women they need to know their numbers. And that\u2019s true even when money is tight. Especially if money is tight, actually! You might think, \u201cWell my ex will just keep it all so I\u2019m not going to fight.\u201d But know that you don’t have to walk away without anything.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now is the time to get a handle on your financial picture. What are your assets (what do you own, individually, and as a couple?)? This includes belongings and any valuable items like jewellery or heirlooms. It also includes any savings, pensions or trusts.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Then turn to your liabilities (what do you owe, individually, and as a couple?). Any debts, including your mortgage, fits into this category.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Start to get your figures together. Even if you don\u2019t have all the answers straight away it\u2019s useful to know where any gaps in your knowledge are.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n How to divorce when money is tight<\/em> – it\u2019s a good idea to get a handle on what sort of income you are likely to need in the future. Now is the time to be realistic. Don\u2019t pitch for an unattainable goal like a 5-bed house in the country if that\u2019s not within the financial gift your marriage has. But don\u2019t underestimate what you need either \u2013 a one bed flat is not appropriate if you have children, for example.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n So think about what your reasonable financial needs will be. Think about your outgoings \u2013 going through recent bank statements will help here. Think about house prices and rental costs in your area.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Make sure you take into account all the necessary areas of your life. If you have a car that you need for work and school runs, you need to factor in those costs, not assume you can do without one, for example.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOf course she\u2019s plugging her book!\u201d you might be thinking! She wants my cash! How to divorce when money is tight – <\/em>educate yourself!<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n To be honest with you, book sales are not how I earn my living. I wrote <\/span>How To Be A Lady Who Leaves<\/span><\/a> because I want as many women as possible to make smart choices when it comes to their divorce. I’d love divorce to feel less overwhelming and less lonely for everyone \u2013 whether you work with me or not. I encourage women to pass on the book to others in need when they\u2019re finished with it, so you may find a secondhand copy somewhere!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n This book is your one-stop-shop information and support centre when it comes to divorce. It takes you step by step through what you need to do, in what order. And how to do the inner work to get yourself in the right headspace for making smart choices.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n If money is tight, this is \u00a314.99 well spent \u2013 it\u2019s likely to save you a fortune over the next few months.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n How to divorce when money is tight – use your free resources! Unfortunately, legal aid for divorce is now only available to those in abusive situations. If that\u2019s you, you can <\/span>find out more from the Money Advice Service here<\/span><\/a>. If you have a low income you may still be able to apply for legal aid to help with mediation costs.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n There is a lot of free information and support available on the Internet, of course. Google and YouTube can be your friend, but they can also be your enemy! So do your homework.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n For every piece of information you read, make sure you know who has written it and whether they know their stuff. Make sure it also applies within the legal jurisdiction you\u2019re part of \u2013 you don\u2019t need advice from USA lawyers if you\u2019re in England!<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Here are some trustworthy resources:<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n How to divorce when money is tight – make use of your support networks. I always caution against getting legal advice from friends. Your friend might have got divorced two years ago and know how the system works \u2013 or thinks she does.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Her experience is absolutely valid, but it is simply her reflections on her own divorce. It does not replicate the years of training and diverse experience that a legal professional has. So, by all means, listen to your friends, but double check any information. And take any advice with a pinch of salt. Just because they had a dreadful experience in court, for example, does not mean you will.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Where friends can come into their own is with emotional and practical support. Do not hold back from asking for what you need. Honestly, your friends will not consider you a burden. If this pandemic and lockdown has taught us anything, it\u2019s that we like to be connected to others. So allow yourself to connect.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Maybe you find it stressful going through paperwork, and want someone with an eye for detail to help you. Get your super-organised friend on the case.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Maybe you need childcare to attend a mediation appointment, or simply to get some headspace. Ask. You can always return the favour another time.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Maybe you want to vent over a bottle of wine for a few hours. Choose your nearest and dearest (following the latest social distancing guidelines of course) and set the world to rights.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n It can feel like your life is coming apart at the seams when you embark on divorce. Everything is thrown up in the air and the future feels unknown. And it\u2019s true \u2013 you might not know where you\u2019ll live, how much money you\u2019ll have, or when you\u2019ll see the children.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n But you can tap into what\u2019s important. No one can take that away from you. It\u2019s a foundation for the life you want to build \u2013 during divorce and after. And it doesn\u2019t cost anything.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Your values are like a compass in the world. A direction rather than a destination. So take some time to figure out what\u2019s most important to you. A helpful way to start is with a value sort exercise \u2013 and you <\/span>can find a free one here<\/span><\/a>. It\u2019s developed by Harvard University so has pretty strong credentials!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Once you know what values are important to you, you can start to bring them to life. You don\u2019t need money for this. It\u2019s about how you are in the world, rather than what you buy.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n It\u2019s highly likely you are going to need to spend money somewhere along the line. So take the time to weigh up your options and decide where to invest. Think about what\u2019s needed, and how your own time and attention is best spent.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n One thing you should definitely not do is instruct a solicitor straight away. Solicitors are expensive! And yes, you may decide to invest in legal representation rather than self represent at some point. But do so once you\u2019ve figured out what you want and need from the solicitor first.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n And if you do self represent, you may decide to invest in support to ensure you\u2019re on the right track. This could end up saving you thousands if it means you get a fairer settlement than going in blind.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n I have a variety of services to help you navigate your divorce. You already know about my book. Here are some other ways I can help you:<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n For free:<\/b> spend some time searching through these blogposts! There are hundreds in here now, and with the search function at your disposal it\u2019s a treasure trove of information. You can also join my free Facebook Group <\/span>Ladies Who Leave<\/span><\/a> for support and information.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n In a community: <\/b>I have an active membership community, <\/span>The Absolute Academy<\/span><\/a>, and that\u2019s where you\u2019ll most often find me online. We have weekly calls, I\u2019m on hand to answer questions and you are in the company of other women committed to getting their divorce done. It\u2019s \u00a3147 per month, which is around the hourly rate of many solicitors, so great value!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n On programmes: <\/b>Get Divorce Ready is a programme that takes you step by step through everything you need to get divorced. I\u2019m with you over the eight weeks, answering any questions and keeping you on track. Anyone joining <\/span>The Absolute Academy<\/span><\/a> by 26th October can sign up to the programme.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n 1:1: <\/b>I offer a range of packages to help women through divorce \u2013 whether it\u2019s a one-off 90-minute call to work through sticky issues, to regular support as and when you need it.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n If you\u2019re curious about how I can support you to navigate your divorce as smoothly, and cheaply, as possible, I\u2019m happy to chat. Just <\/span>book a call in with me here<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n Emma Heptonstall,<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/strong><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self-study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" How to divorce when money is tight One of the biggest worries when it comes to divorce is money. There is no getting around the fact that divorce costs money (though you may be eligible for fee exemptions and other support). And there\u2019s no getting around that for many divorcing couples, money is one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":16024,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":" \u00a0<\/p> One of the biggest worries when it comes to divorce is money. There is no getting around the fact that divorce costs money (though you may be eligible for fee exemptions and other support). And there\u2019s no getting around that for many divorcing couples, money is one of the big flash-points for conflict.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> If there\u2019s not a lot of money to go around it can leave you feeling stuck. You\u2019ve decided you want to divorce, but now what? You don\u2019t have money to throw at legal battles; you can\u2019t afford to set up home on your own.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> It is not impossible to divorce when money is tight. In <\/span>How to divorce when money is tight <\/em>we explore all the resources you are likely to have available for free, or at low cost. So you can still take control of your divorce, in a way that works for you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> I always tell women they need to know their numbers. And that\u2019s true even when money is tight. Especially if money is tight, actually! You might think, \u201cWell my ex will just keep it all so I\u2019m not going to fight.\u201d But know that you don't have to walk away without anything.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Now is the time to get a handle on your financial picture. What are your assets (what do you own, individually, and as a couple?)? This includes belongings and any valuable items like jewellery or heirlooms. It also includes any savings, pensions or trusts.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Then turn to your liabilities (what do you owe, individually, and as a couple?). Any debts, including your mortgage, fits into this category.<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Start to get your figures together. Even if you don\u2019t have all the answers straight away it\u2019s useful to know where any gaps in your knowledge are.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> How to divorce when money is tight<\/em> - it\u2019s a good idea to get a handle on what sort of income you are likely to need in the future. Now is the time to be realistic. Don\u2019t pitch for an unattainable goal like a 5-bed house in the country if that\u2019s not within the financial gift your marriage has. But don\u2019t underestimate what you need either \u2013 a one bed flat is not appropriate if you have children, for example.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> So think about what your reasonable financial needs will be. Think about your outgoings \u2013 going through recent bank statements will help here. Think about house prices and rental costs in your area.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Make sure you take into account all the necessary areas of your life. If you have a car that you need for work and school runs, you need to factor in those costs, not assume you can do without one, for example.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> \u201cOf course she\u2019s plugging her book!\u201d you might be thinking! She wants my cash! How to divorce when money is tight - <\/em>educate yourself!<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> To be honest with you, book sales are not how I earn my living. I wrote <\/span>How To Be A Lady Who Leaves<\/span><\/a> because I want as many women as possible to make smart choices when it comes to their divorce. I'd love divorce to feel less overwhelming and less lonely for everyone \u2013 whether you work with me or not. I encourage women to pass on the book to others in need when they\u2019re finished with it, so you may find a secondhand copy somewhere!\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> This book is your one-stop-shop information and support centre when it comes to divorce. It takes you step by step through what you need to do, in what order. And how to do the inner work to get yourself in the right headspace for making smart choices.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> If money is tight, this is \u00a314.99 well spent \u2013 it\u2019s likely to save you a fortune over the next few months.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> How to divorce when money is tight - use your free resources! Unfortunately, legal aid for divorce is now only available to those in abusive situations. If that\u2019s you, you can <\/span>find out more from the Money Advice Service here<\/span><\/a>. If you have a low income you may still be able to apply for legal aid to help with mediation costs.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> There is a lot of free information and support available on the Internet, of course. Google and YouTube can be your friend, but they can also be your enemy! So do your homework.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> For every piece of information you read, make sure you know who has written it and whether they know their stuff. Make sure it also applies within the legal jurisdiction you\u2019re part of \u2013 you don\u2019t need advice from USA lawyers if you\u2019re in England!<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Here are some trustworthy resources:<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> How to divorce when money is tight - make use of your support networks. I always caution against getting legal advice from friends. Your friend might have got divorced two years ago and know how the system works \u2013 or thinks she does.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Her experience is absolutely valid, but it is simply her reflections on her own divorce. It does not replicate the years of training and diverse experience that a legal professional has. So, by all means, listen to your friends, but double check any information. And take any advice with a pinch of salt. Just because they had a dreadful experience in court, for example, does not mean you will.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Where friends can come into their own is with emotional and practical support. Do not hold back from asking for what you need. Honestly, your friends will not consider you a burden. If this pandemic and lockdown has taught us anything, it\u2019s that we like to be connected to others. So allow yourself to connect.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Maybe you find it stressful going through paperwork, and want someone with an eye for detail to help you. Get your super-organised friend on the case.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Maybe you need childcare to attend a mediation appointment, or simply to get some headspace. Ask. You can always return the favour another time.<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Maybe you want to vent over a bottle of wine for a few hours. Choose your nearest and dearest (following the latest social distancing guidelines of course) and set the world to rights.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> It can feel like your life is coming apart at the seams when you embark on divorce. Everything is thrown up in the air and the future feels unknown. And it\u2019s true \u2013 you might not know where you\u2019ll live, how much money you\u2019ll have, or when you\u2019ll see the children.<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> But you can tap into what\u2019s important. No one can take that away from you. It\u2019s a foundation for the life you want to build \u2013 during divorce and after. And it doesn\u2019t cost anything.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Your values are like a compass in the world. A direction rather than a destination. So take some time to figure out what\u2019s most important to you. A helpful way to start is with a value sort exercise \u2013 and you <\/span>can find a free one here<\/span><\/a>. It\u2019s developed by Harvard University so has pretty strong credentials!\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Once you know what values are important to you, you can start to bring them to life. You don\u2019t need money for this. It\u2019s about how you are in the world, rather than what you buy.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> It\u2019s highly likely you are going to need to spend money somewhere along the line. So take the time to weigh up your options and decide where to invest. Think about what\u2019s needed, and how your own time and attention is best spent.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> One thing you should definitely not do is instruct a solicitor straight away. Solicitors are expensive! And yes, you may decide to invest in legal representation rather than self represent at some point. But do so once you\u2019ve figured out what you want and need from the solicitor first.<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> And if you do self represent, you may decide to invest in support to ensure you\u2019re on the right track. This could end up saving you thousands if it means you get a fairer settlement than going in blind.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> I have a variety of services to help you navigate your divorce. You already know about my book. Here are some other ways I can help you:<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> For free:<\/b> spend some time searching through these blogposts! There are hundreds in here now, and with the search function at your disposal it\u2019s a treasure trove of information. You can also join my free Facebook Group <\/span>Ladies Who Leave<\/span><\/a> for support and information.<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> In a community: <\/b>I have an active membership community, <\/span><\/span>Know what money you have<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Know what money you need<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Read my book!<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Use free resources<\/span><\/h2>\n
\n
<\/span>Make use of your support networks<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Understand your values<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Prioritise your investments<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>About Emma<\/span><\/h2>\n
How to divorce when money is tight<\/h1>
Know what money you have<\/h2>
Know what money you need<\/h2>
Read my book!<\/h2>
Use free resources<\/h2>
Make use of your support networks<\/h2>
Understand your values<\/h2>
Prioritise your investments<\/h2>