[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ text_font_size=”16px” header_text_align=”justify” header_text_color=”#c5b2b1″ header_2_text_align=”justify” header_2_text_color=”#c984a4″ header_3_text_align=”justify” header_3_text_color=”#c5b2b1″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” text_orientation=”justified” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
We\u2019re at that tricky part of the year when everything is grey. Life is hard \u2013 especially this year. Lockdown. Homeschooling. Working from home. No holidays. Aargh. Many of the women who\u2019ve contacted me over the last five years tell me they know they need to divorce. They\u2019re sick of living a half-life in their miserable marriage. But they just can\u2019t see a way to make it happen. They have no time to divorce. Especially not this year.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n If that\u2019s you too, you need to read this. We\u2019ll get into what to do when you\u2019re burning the candle at both ends. We\u2019ll look at different strategies for getting you through to that Decree Absolute. And you\u2019ll see how to create a plan that works for you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u2018Start with the end in mind\u2019 wrote Stephen Covey in his international bestseller \u2018The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People\u2019. This advice isn\u2019t just about business planning. It\u2019s for life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Think about what you want your life to be like this time next year. Do you want to be in the same situation, feeling the same stuckness? Or do you want to be living a life free of this marriage that\u2019s holding you back? Even if you give all your energy 24\/7 to divorce, I can\u2019t promise you it will be done and dusted in a year. It may well be. It may well be done a lot sooner. But every divorce is different.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Whether you have the Decree Absolute or not by January 2022, you will feel a whole lot better if you\u2019ve moved towards it. I guarantee it. Even if it\u2019s hard. Even if it eats up some time this year.<\/p>\n So, before we get started on any ways to get divorce done, picture it. Write out what it will mean to you to be divorced. Create a vision board. Or doodle it. Do whatever you like. But spend time really feeling into why this thing is worth it and capture it. Because that\u2019s the inspiration you will need when the going gets tough.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Divorce is complex. And, as we talked about on the blog last week<\/span><\/a>, sometimes that complexity makes us run away. It is far easier to put off the difficult things rather than face them. So, the trick with divorce is to break it down. To quote Desmond Tutu, \u201cHow do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.\u201d<\/p>\n It\u2019s easy to be daunted by your divorce elephant. It\u2019s huge. It dominates your life. And the only way to deal with it is by making a plan. There are lots of ways to get started with a plan. A quick Google will take you to the government\u2019s webpages<\/span><\/a> on the process.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Or, if you want a more reader-friendly guide that also incorporates the all-important emotional aspects of divorce, get yourself a copy of How To Be A Lady Who Leaves<\/span><\/a>. I break it all down for you \u2013 what you need to do, how to get organised, how to maximise the chance of amicable divorce, how to deal with children\u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The best way to make the use of your time, especially when it\u2019s scarce, is to break things down into microtasks. Write lists that you can keep on your phone, or somewhere else you won\u2019t lose.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Importantly, when you write the lists, use specific, actionable verbs. Don\u2019t just have \u2018sort finances\u2019 on your list. Break it down into smaller tasks.<\/p>\n It might take a chunk of time and headspace to create your plan. But my best advice here is that it\u2019s an investment. It will save you so much time in the long run. If you have three minutes while you\u2019re waiting for the kettle to boil you can either spend that time thinking \u201cWhat should I do next to move my divorce along?\u201d or you could check your list and tick off a quick task.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Never underestimate the power of small steps. All those tiny actions will get you there. And it\u2019s a whole lot more productive than worrying about how big your elephant is. So do whatever you can to carve out a chunk of time to set you up. Tips on how to do that coming next\u2026<\/p>\n OK, so no-one can magic up time out of nowhere. And, I know that right now it\u2019s especially hard. Morale is low, pressure is high and life is, quite frankly, crap. But often, when we feel like we don\u2019t have time, it\u2019s not about time so much as attention and energy. So I invite you to keep an open mind and see if you can pick and mix from any of these tactics:<\/p>\n One of the best ways to save time is to get someone else to do the thinking for you. And that someone can be me. I always say no two divorces are alike. Nor can I get inside your head to make decisions about your life for you. It\u2019s about your life, your future and your choices. But I do know the divorce process inside out. I know the legalities and I know the emotional roller coasters that go alongside it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I can save you money by helping you minimise or avoid solicitor\u2019s costs. And, just as importantly, I can save you time. My programme \u2018Get Divorce Ready\u2019 takes you through every single step you need to get things in place so your divorce is as smooth as possible. No scuttling around the internet wondering what to do first. No guessing whether something is important or not. It\u2019s all there, laid out for you.<\/p>\n And, even better, Get Divorce Ready comes free when you join my community \u2018The Absolute Academy<\/span><\/a>\u2019. It\u2019s for women who want to get on with their divorce. They want it to be as high energy and low cost as possible. The Absolute Academy members bring the energy \u2013 we are there for each other when the going gets tough. And we celebrate highs with the collective joy of women who know what it\u2019s like to be taking control of life again. And as for cost \u2013 the monthly fee is about the same as a solicitor charges per hour. So, you know\u2026 the maths tells its own story.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Want in? I\u2019d love to see you there. Read all about it and join us here<\/span><\/a>.<\/p>\n Emma Heptonstall,<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/strong><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self-study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" No time to divorce? You need to read this. We\u2019re at that tricky part of the year when everything is grey. Life is hard \u2013 especially this year. Lockdown. Homeschooling. Working from home. No holidays. Aargh. Many of the women who\u2019ve contacted me over the last five years tell me they know they need to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":16123,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":" We\u2019re at that tricky part of the year when everything is grey. Life is hard \u2013 especially this year. Lockdown. Homeschooling. Working from home. No holidays. Aargh. Many of the women who\u2019ve contacted me over the last five years tell me they know they need to divorce. They\u2019re sick of living a half-life in their miserable marriage. But they just can\u2019t see a way to make it happen. They have no time to divorce. Especially not this year.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> If that\u2019s you too, you need to read this. We\u2019ll get into what to do when you\u2019re burning the candle at both ends. We\u2019ll look at different strategies for getting you through to that Decree Absolute. And you\u2019ll see how to create a plan that works for you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u2018Start with the end in mind\u2019 wrote Stephen Covey in his international bestseller \u2018The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People\u2019. This advice isn\u2019t just about business planning. It\u2019s for life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> Think about what you want your life to be like this time next year. Do you want to be in the same situation, feeling the same stuckness? Or do you want to be living a life free of this marriage that\u2019s holding you back? Even if you give all your energy 24\/7 to divorce, I can\u2019t promise you it will be done and dusted in a year. It may well be. It may well be done a lot sooner. But every divorce is different.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> Whether you have the Decree Absolute or not by January 2022, you will feel a whole lot better if you\u2019ve moved towards it. I guarantee it. Even if it\u2019s hard. Even if it eats up some time this year.<\/p> So, before we get started on any ways to get divorce done, picture it. Write out what it will mean to you to be divorced. Create a vision board. Or doodle it. Do whatever you like. But spend time really feeling into why this thing is worth it and capture it. Because that\u2019s the inspiration you will need when the going gets tough.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> Divorce is complex. And, as we talked about on the blog last week<\/span><\/a>, sometimes that complexity makes us run away. It is far easier to put off the difficult things rather than face them. So, the trick with divorce is to break it down. To quote Desmond Tutu, \u201cHow do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.\u201d<\/p> It\u2019s easy to be daunted by your divorce elephant. It\u2019s huge. It dominates your life. And the only way to deal with it is by making a plan. There are lots of ways to get started with a plan. A quick Google will take you to the government\u2019s webpages<\/span><\/a> on the process.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> Or, if you want a more reader-friendly guide that also incorporates the all-important emotional aspects of divorce, get yourself a copy of How To Be A Lady Who Leaves<\/span><\/a>. I break it all down for you \u2013 what you need to do, how to get organised, how to maximise the chance of amicable divorce, how to deal with children\u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/p> The best way to make the use of your time, especially when it\u2019s scarce, is to break things down into microtasks. Write lists that you can keep on your phone, or somewhere else you won\u2019t lose.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> Importantly, when you write the lists, use specific, actionable verbs. Don\u2019t just have \u2018sort finances\u2019 on your list. Break it down into smaller tasks.<\/p> It might take a chunk of time and headspace to create your plan. But my best advice here is that it\u2019s an investment. It will save you so much time in the long run. If you have three minutes while you\u2019re waiting for the kettle to boil you can either spend that time thinking \u201cWhat should I do next to move my divorce along?\u201d or you could check your list and tick off a quick task.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> Never underestimate the power of small steps. All those tiny actions will get you there. And it\u2019s a whole lot more productive than worrying about how big your elephant is. So do whatever you can to carve out a chunk of time to set you up. Tips on how to do that coming next\u2026<\/p> OK, so no-one can magic up time out of nowhere. And, I know that right now it\u2019s especially hard. Morale is low, pressure is high and life is, quite frankly, crap. But often, when we feel like we don\u2019t have time, it\u2019s not about time so much as attention and energy. So I invite you to keep an open mind and see if you can pick and mix from any of these tactics:<\/p> One of the best ways to save time is to get someone else to do the thinking for you. And that someone can be me. I always say no two divorces are alike. Nor can I get inside your head to make decisions about your life for you. It\u2019s about your life, your future and your choices. But I do know the divorce process inside out. I know the legalities and I know the emotional roller coasters that go alongside it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> I can save you money by helping you minimise or avoid solicitor\u2019s costs. And, just as importantly, I can save you time. My programme \u2018Get Divorce Ready\u2019 takes you through every single step you need to get things in place so your divorce is as smooth as possible. No scuttling around the internet wondering what to do first. No guessing whether something is important or not. It\u2019s all there, laid out for you.<\/p> And, even better, Get Divorce Ready comes free when you join my community \u2018The Absolute Academy<\/span><\/a>\u2019. It\u2019s for women who want to get on with their divorce. They want it to be as high energy and low cost as possible. The Absolute Academy members bring the energy \u2013 we are there for each other when the going gets tough. And we celebrate highs with the collective joy of women who know what it\u2019s like to be taking control of life again. And as for cost \u2013 the monthly fee is about the same as a solicitor charges per hour. So, you know\u2026 the maths tells its own story.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> Want in? I\u2019d love to see you there. Read all about it and join us here<\/span><\/a>.<\/p> Emma Heptonstall,<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/strong><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self-study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce-support"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6aDhr-4c1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/Copy-of-EH_BlogImage-25.png?fit=1000%2C516&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16121","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16121"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16121\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16123"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16121"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16121"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16121"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/span>Picture your goal<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Break it down<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Bite-sized chunks<\/span><\/h3>\n
\n
<\/span>How to create time<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>What you can do<\/span><\/h3>\n
\n
<\/span>How others can help<\/span><\/h3>\n
\n
<\/span>Get professional support<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>About Emma<\/span><\/h2>\n
No time to divorce? You need to read this.<\/h1>
Picture your goal<\/h2>
Break it down<\/h2>
Bite-sized chunks<\/h3>
How to create time<\/h2>
What you can do<\/h3>
How others can help<\/h3>
Get professional support<\/h2>
About Emma<\/h2>