{"id":16232,"date":"2021-05-16T11:19:25","date_gmt":"2021-05-16T10:19:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?p=16232"},"modified":"2021-05-16T12:28:07","modified_gmt":"2021-05-16T11:28:07","slug":"plan-your-summer-holidays-with-the-children-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/plan-your-summer-holidays-with-the-children-now\/","title":{"rendered":"Plan your summer holidays with the children now!\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Plan your summer holidays with the children now!\u00a0<\/span><\/h1>\n

For many parents, the thought of the long summer holidays is\u2026 daunting. After the past twelve months in and out of lockdown six weeks with the children full time feels like a stress train approaching full steam.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The key is to get organised. In Plan your summer holidays with the children now! <\/em>we\u2019ll look at all the planning and practical steps you can take to make the summer holidays the relaxing break you all need.\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s time to plan your summer holidays with the children now.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

First, let\u2019s look at what you and your children need this summer.<\/p>\n

<\/span>To feel safe<\/span><\/h2>\n

It\u2019s been a destabilising year. All of us have been shaken about by government restrictions, health worries, shut off from friends and family. So one of the most important pillars of this summer holiday is safety and stability.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Safety comes from boundaries. From knowing where you stand. From knowing that you have loved ones looking out for you. We\u2019ll look at how to create that sense of safety for you and your children.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>To relax<\/span><\/h2>\n

Once we feel safe, we can relax. You might be worried about how your children are faring academically after all the lockdowns. But the number one thing they need right now (and teachers agree) is to play. To unwind after a year of stress and isolation.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Balance<\/span><\/h2>\n

You and your children are a team. Everyone\u2019s needs need to be met \u2013 and that includes yours. When you plan for the summer it\u2019s essential you look after yourself as well as your small people.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Now let\u2019s look at how to make it happen.<\/p>\n

<\/span>Break it down<\/span><\/h2>\n

Hopefully, you have agreed the split of childcare arrangements with your ex-partner. If not, do it now, don\u2019t leave it until the last minute! Get everything agreed in writing, whether that\u2019s between yourselves or with the help of a mediator. Mediation isn\u2019t just for crisis talks, or for sorting financials. A family mediator can help with any aspect of parenting, separation and divorce. You can find out more about family mediation here<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s important both for you and the children to know in advance where they will be and when. Once you know you can start to plan. Break the holidays into week-long chunks and consider each one in turn. That will help you start to tame the summer holiday beast.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Decompress<\/span><\/h2>\n

At the start of the holidays your children or teenagers are likely to be exhausted. It\u2019s been a rollercoaster of a year. Most people have found themselves feeling tired, sometimes without really knowing why. But there\u2019s a very good reason why. We have all been in crisis mode \u2013 worried about loved ones, waiting for the next announcement, not in control of our plans.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Research into employment psychology has found time and time again that autonomy is vital for wellbeing and health. Having the freedom to prioritise for yourself and be in control of your own time is key to employee wellbeing, and productivity too.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What does this have to do with children and summer holidays, you ask? Well, it\u2019s also the case that we all do better with a degree of freedom and autonomy. And that\u2019s what we\u2019ve been short of over the past fifteen months.<\/p>\n

So try to build in some \u2018splat\u2019 days. Days for your children to just flop, and let it all go. They might stay in PJs the entire day. They might be glued to the TV or their Switch. Maybe they might want crisps and haribo all day long. Let it be. Have a few days when anything (within reason!) goes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Plan a rhythm<\/span><\/h2>\n

Once you\u2019ve decompressed, it\u2019s worth putting in a gentle rhythm to your weeks. Just as we need autonomy, we need boundaries to feel safe. The \u2018anything goes\u2019 philosophy can be exhausting for everyone if it\u2019s forever (even if your children tell you otherwise!).<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll know what\u2019s best for your family so I\u2019m not going to suggest hard and fast rules. But, remember, you need to set a balance that suits all of you. Your children might want to spend each and every day indoors but you know that will drive you stir-crazy. So set limits. You don\u2019t need to have strict rules. But setting gentle principles so that everyone knows where they stand is good for all of you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If your children are old enough you could come up with a rhythm together. Include whatever feels important for you all. You might want to consider whether:<\/p>\n