[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.22″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.10.6″ text_font_size=”16px” header_text_align=”justify” header_text_color=”#c5b2b1″ header_2_text_align=”justify” header_2_text_color=”#c984a4″ header_3_text_align=”justify” header_3_text_color=”#c5b2b1″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” text_orientation=”justified” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
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If you\u2019re in a high net worth divorce you know the finances are complicated; it goes with the territory. Yet there\u2019s so much more at stake than money. High net worth divorces tend to take longer than lower net worth cases and can easily flare into acrimonious dispute. Which can take a significant toll on your health and wellbeing. So, whether you\u2019re just about to embark on your high net worth divorce or are already in the midst of negotiations, here are five things you must do to survive the journey intact.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n No-one relishes divorce – except perhaps the more ruthless lawyers. It\u2019s a life event you want done and dusted as efficiently as possible. Unfortunately, in high net worth cases, proceedings are likely to take longer. Simply put, there\u2019s more to consider – whether it\u2019s commercial or family assets. They may be registered across the globe, so there will be international jurisdictions to take into account. And, because there\u2019s more to consider, there\u2019s more likelihood of disagreement.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n While it can be tempting to check-out of the process, that is often be a huge mistake. And not just financially. You don\u2019t want to look back on your divorce with bitterness and regret. You want to know you stood up for yourself and what\u2019s important to you, even if it was difficult. So the very best thing you can do is prepare for the long haul. Just as a marathon runner knows they need to pace themselves to get through the 26.1 miles, you need to go steady and see your divorce through. There are practical ways to ensure you don\u2019t burn out along the way, which we\u2019ll come to. But before all that, it\u2019s important to accept that this will be a long journey. And it\u2019s worth it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n When your divorce involves high figure sums and assets, it\u2019s easy to get caught up in the money. But you are worth so much more than money. And, when you stop to think about it, what\u2019s truly important to you is deeper than money too.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Make sure you set the agenda when it comes to your high net worth divorce. And that doesn\u2019t mean walking away with more than your soon-to-be-ex. Tussling in those power plays is just playing someone else\u2019s game – either your ex-spouse\u2019s or your legal team\u2019s. The only way to set the agenda is to connect with what\u2019s truly important to you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n If you woke up tomorrow and money wasn\u2019t an issue – you had exactly what you needed for the life you wanted to live – what would you do? Forget about whether your soon-to-be-ex, or business rivals, or whether associates have more (or less). You have exactly what you want and need in life. What does that look like to you?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Spend some time with this question. Paint a vivid picture of the values that guide you as you live. Values (such as security, creativity, harmony, excellence) aren\u2019t things you can pay for. They are directions that help you make choices about what to do with your life. Once you know what really matters to you, all of the distractions slip away. You can focus on that and start to build the post-divorce life you want.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n One of the most perilous aspects of high net worth divorces is the damage to your relationships. The damage to your trust – and I mean in the emotional, not the financial sense. You are likely to be part of high status and influential networks, in both your business and social worlds. Your divorce may be a source of contention – it will certainly be a hot topic of conversation. So who do you trust as you navigate your way forward?<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n High net worth divorces often carry high reputational stakes as well as financial ones. With this in mind, pay attention to who you share details of your divorce with. Hopefully you will have an inner circle of people who you know have got your back. If so, make sure these are the only people you vent with. To the outer world, be a model of diplomacy and tact.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n If you don\u2019t have an inner circle, don\u2019t worry. First of all, you\u2019re not alone. Sadly, it\u2019s common in high net worth divorces that women find themselves without a trusted ally. Sometimes people in your networks choose to side with your ex-spouse. Sometimes they just slip away. And sometimes you find out the hard way that you couldn\u2019t trust your inner circle after all.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Secondly, there are people out there who can help – people who you can unreservedly trust throughout your divorce. I\u2019m one of them.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n You need to build a trusted team around you, and do it as soon as possible. That definitely goes for legal and financial matters. Make sure you instruct a team with experience in high-net-worth cases. Vet them to make sure they understand the particular financial, business and family landscape of your divorce. Equally as importantly, make sure they are people you connect with – who you can be totally honest with and trust to be honest back.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n But it\u2019s about more than the finances too. We\u2019ve already discussed how divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. You need people who get it around you. People who understand the emotional isolation and disorientation that often comes with high net worth divorces. This is where building a specialist emotional support team is worth its weight in gold. It means you\u2019ll have access to top class, private and confidential support from people like me, who can offer support and advice whenever you need it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Divorce is not only about endings, it\u2019s also about new starts. And this is a new start for you. One you can make on your own terms – which is why that values work is so important.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Start to cultivate a picture of what your future will look like. That might necessarily include letting go of some of the past – whether it\u2019s aspects of your wealth, friendships or connections. But that letting go will free up space to imagine an independent life. Where you have the freedom to choose who you spend time with, what you spend money on and what contribution to make to the world.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Make your vision of the future so compelling it grounds you when your divorce becomes overwhelming. If you can encapsulate it into a picture, a vision board or an affirmation, put it somewhere you\u2019ll see it every day. And, when the going gets tough, as it will, remind yourself what you\u2019re doing this for. And, more importantly, who. You are doing this for yourself. For your precious future, which is worth fighting for.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n I know how important trust is when you\u2019re going through a high net worth divorce. I know how important it is for you to have a safe space to let rip, be vulnerable, ask difficult questions and face the future. I offer bespoke, private support for a small number of women navigating high net worth divorce.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n This is support like no other. I become your trusted confidante and ally, sharing the benefit of my legal and coaching expertise so you can divorce in full confidence you\u2019re making the decisions you are right for you. To find out more, simply <\/span>book in a free initial chat here.<\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Emma Heptonstall,<\/b><\/a><\/span>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is the author of the Amazon best-selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/b><\/span><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self-study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. Emma is also the host of\u00a0\u00a0The Six Minute Divorce Podcast<\/b><\/span><\/a>. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/b><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Five things you must do to survive your high net worth divorce If you\u2019re in a high net worth divorce you know the finances are complicated; it goes with the territory. Yet there\u2019s so much more at stake than money. High net worth divorces tend to take longer than lower net worth cases and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":16333,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":" \u00a0<\/p> If you\u2019re in a high net worth divorce you know the finances are complicated; it goes with the territory. Yet there\u2019s so much more at stake than money. High net worth divorces tend to take longer than lower net worth cases and can easily flare into acrimonious dispute. Which can take a significant toll on your health and wellbeing. So, whether you\u2019re just about to embark on your high net worth divorce or are already in the midst of negotiations, here are five things you must do to survive the journey intact.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> \u00a0<\/p> No-one relishes divorce - except perhaps the more ruthless lawyers. It\u2019s a life event you want done and dusted as efficiently as possible. Unfortunately, in high net worth cases, proceedings are likely to take longer. Simply put, there\u2019s more to consider - whether it\u2019s commercial or family assets. They may be registered across the globe, so there will be international jurisdictions to take into account. And, because there\u2019s more to consider, there\u2019s more likelihood of disagreement.<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> While it can be tempting to check-out of the process, that is often be a huge mistake. And not just financially. You don\u2019t want to look back on your divorce with bitterness and regret. You want to know you stood up for yourself and what\u2019s important to you, even if it was difficult. So the very best thing you can do is prepare for the long haul. Just as a marathon runner knows they need to pace themselves to get through the 26.1 miles, you need to go steady and see your divorce through. There are practical ways to ensure you don\u2019t burn out along the way, which we\u2019ll come to. But before all that, it\u2019s important to accept that this will be a long journey. And it\u2019s worth it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> When your divorce involves high figure sums and assets, it\u2019s easy to get caught up in the money. But you are worth so much more than money. And, when you stop to think about it, what\u2019s truly important to you is deeper than money too.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Make sure you set the agenda when it comes to your high net worth divorce. And that doesn\u2019t mean walking away with more than your soon-to-be-ex. Tussling in those power plays is just playing someone else\u2019s game - either your ex-spouse\u2019s or your legal team\u2019s. The only way to set the agenda is to connect with what\u2019s truly important to you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> If you woke up tomorrow and money wasn\u2019t an issue - you had exactly what you needed for the life you wanted to live - what would you do? Forget about whether your soon-to-be-ex, or business rivals, or whether associates have more (or less). You have exactly what you want and need in life. What does that look like to you?\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Spend some time with this question. Paint a vivid picture of the values that guide you as you live. Values (such as security, creativity, harmony, excellence) aren\u2019t things you can pay for. They are directions that help you make choices about what to do with your life. Once you know what really matters to you, all of the distractions slip away. You can focus on that and start to build the post-divorce life you want.<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> One of the most perilous aspects of high net worth divorces is the damage to your relationships. The damage to your trust - and I mean in the emotional, not the financial sense. You are likely to be part of high status and influential networks, in both your business and social worlds. Your divorce may be a source of contention - it will certainly be a hot topic of conversation. So who do you trust as you navigate your way forward?<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> High net worth divorces often carry high reputational stakes as well as financial ones. With this in mind, pay attention to who you share details of your divorce with. Hopefully you will have an inner circle of people who you know have got your back. If so, make sure these are the only people you vent with. To the outer world, be a model of diplomacy and tact.<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> If you don\u2019t have an inner circle, don\u2019t worry. First of all, you\u2019re not alone. Sadly, it\u2019s common in high net worth divorces that women find themselves without a trusted ally. Sometimes people in your networks choose to side with your ex-spouse. Sometimes they just slip away. And sometimes you find out the hard way that you couldn\u2019t trust your inner circle after all.<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Secondly, there are people out there who can help - people who you can unreservedly trust throughout your divorce. I\u2019m one of them.<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> You need to build a trusted team around you, and do it as soon as possible. That definitely goes for legal and financial matters. Make sure you instruct a team with experience in high-net-worth cases. Vet them to make sure they understand the particular financial, business and family landscape of your divorce. Equally as importantly, make sure they are people you connect with - who you can be totally honest with and trust to be honest back.<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> But it\u2019s about more than the finances too. We\u2019ve already discussed how divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. You need people who get it around you. People who understand the emotional isolation and disorientation that often comes with high net worth divorces. This is where building a specialist emotional support team is worth its weight in gold. It means you\u2019ll have access to top class, private and confidential support from people like me, who can offer support and advice whenever you need it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Divorce is not only about endings, it\u2019s also about new starts. And this is a new start for you. One you can make on your own terms - which is why that values work is so important.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> Start to cultivate a picture of what your future will look like. That might necessarily include letting go of some of the past - whether it\u2019s aspects of your wealth, friendships or connections. But that letting go will free up space to imagine an independent life. Where you have the freedom to choose who you spend time with, what you spend money on and what contribution to make to the world.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Make your vision of the future so compelling it grounds you when your divorce becomes overwhelming. If you can encapsulate it into a picture, a vision board or an affirmation, put it somewhere you\u2019ll see it every day. And, when the going gets tough, as it will, remind yourself what you\u2019re doing this for. And, more importantly, who. You are doing this for yourself. For your precious future, which is worth fighting for.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> I know how important trust is when you\u2019re going through a high net worth divorce. I know how important it is for you to have a safe space to let rip, be vulnerable, ask difficult questions and face the future. I offer bespoke, private support for a small number of women navigating high net worth divorce.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> This is support like no other. I become your trusted confidante and ally, sharing the benefit of my legal and coaching expertise so you can divorce in full confidence you\u2019re making the decisions you are right for you. To find out more, simply <\/span>book in a free initial chat here.<\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/p> Emma Heptonstall,<\/b><\/a><\/span>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is the author of the Amazon best-selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/b><\/span><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self-study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. Emma is also the host of\u00a0\u00a0The Six Minute Divorce Podcast<\/b><\/span><\/a>. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/b><\/span><\/a><\/p>","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2704,397,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17646","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-high-net-worth-divorce","category-divorce-self-care","category-divorce-support"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/AH-Featured-MarieClaire.png?fit=350%2C150&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6aDhr-4AC","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17646","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17646"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17646\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16333"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/span>Five things you must do to survive your high net worth divorce:<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Prepare for a long haul<\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n
<\/span>Connect with your values<\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n
<\/span>Know who to trust<\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n
<\/span>Seek specialist support<\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n
<\/span>Be future-focused<\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n
<\/span>Private support you can trust<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>About Emma<\/span><\/h2>\n
Five things you must do to survive your high net worth divorce<\/h1>
Five things you must do to survive your high net worth divorce:<\/span><\/h2>
Prepare for a long haul<\/span><\/h3>
Connect with your values<\/span><\/h3>
Know who to trust<\/span><\/h3>
Seek specialist support<\/span><\/h3>
Be future-focused<\/span><\/h3>
Private support you can trust<\/h2>
About Emma<\/h2>