{"id":17656,"date":"2021-12-13T06:00:40","date_gmt":"2021-12-13T06:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?p=16418"},"modified":"2023-08-14T11:13:21","modified_gmt":"2023-08-14T10:13:21","slug":"how-to-prepare-for-court-hearings-at-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/how-to-prepare-for-court-hearings-at-christmas\/","title":{"rendered":"How to prepare for court hearings at Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If you\u2019re in the midst of divorce during December it can be hard to summon any Christmas spirit. As well as getting all the presents bought and wrapped, you\u2019ve got hearings to prepare for. Getting festive and taking time off is the last thing on your mind. So how do you\u00a0<em>prepare for court hearings at Christmas<\/em>? Here\u2019s everything you need to know to rescue your divorce, Christmas, and your wellbeing.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"get_clear_on_your_timelines\"><\/span>Get Clear On Your Timelines<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>The first thing you need to do is get clear on what\u2019s happening and when. If there are deadlines set by court dates, of course you need to meet them. But, like the rest of society, the UK court system slows down in December. Court officials and lawyers also stop for Christmas! So there is no point in panicking over getting everything together if it\u2019s not needed right now. \u00a0 Contact your lawyer\u2019s office and find out about their availability. They will be away from the office at some point over December, that\u2019s for certain. If they\u2019re on holiday, it\u2019s ok. You don\u2019t need answers immediately. You can pick things up when they are back again. \u00a0 If you need to find out when your closest court or tribunal is open during the Christmas period,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.gov.uk\/find-court-tribunal\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">you can do that here<\/a>. \u00a0 Remember, you can only control what you do. Not what anyone else does. Dates set by the court system, or the actions of your soon-to-be-ex are out of your hands. But it\u2019s powerful to know them anyway, so you can plan and respond in the wisest way.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"stick_to_whats_necessary\"><\/span>Stick to what\u2019s necessary<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>If there was ever a month to take your foot off the pedal when it comes to divorce, December is it. Repeat after me: it\u2019s ok to put your divorce down in December. \u00a0 Take half an hour for this exercise in the next 24 hours. Give yourself the gift of planning ahead. Schedule it in your diary.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"heres_what_you_need_to_do\"><\/span>Here\u2019s what you need to do:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\">Write out everything that\u2019s on your mind about your divorce \u2013 just scribble it out into your notebook<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\">Now, read over everything you\u2019ve got down on paper. And, with a mug of tea (or glass of wine) and a calm mind, put everything into two lists: things that NEED to happen in December, and things that can wait.<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\">Put everything that can wait into a folder \u2013 real or virtual. Remind yourself you\u2019ve already done the hard work, you\u2019ve mapped out what needs to happen. It\u2019s safe to pick it up again in January.<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\">Now, look at what needs to happen. Are they all things that are within your control? Is the next action within your control? Perhaps you need more information on something. In which case \u2013 ask for it, along with a sense of urgency, and let it go. Schedule a time to chase it up. But in the meantime, let it go.<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\">If the actions are within your control, take each in turn and break them down into their smallest possible parts. So rather than \u2018complete form E\u2019 break it down into tasks like: find bank statements, work out your budget, call the pension company, book a chat with Emma to talk through it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>You will find that your list suddenly becomes a lot more manageable. Even if it\u2019s longer than you\u2019d like, you will have turned it into something you can tackle, rather than a big overwhelming monster that growls at you every night at 10pm when all the children are finally asleep, but your brain is too exhausted to do anything.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"get_the_support_you_need\"><\/span>Get The Support You Need<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>The festive season is all about giving. And if you\u2019re in the midst of a divorce and things need to happen \u2013 it\u2019s the season to ask for help. Allow people to give. If your divorce is at mission-critical point, and you just can\u2019t find the time to get everything ready, get help. Ask a neighbour to take the children for an afternoon (it\u2019s December, there\u2019s enough on Netflix to keep them entertained). Delegate the Christmas buying and wrapping as much as you can. Over in The Absolute Academy, we have a swap scheme in place this Christmas to help with the shopping gift list. Are there people who you could agree to have a \u2018no gift\u2019 Christmas with this year, to save you both hassle and money? You could have a get-together in new year instead. \u00a0 Ask a friend to sit with you and hold your hand as you tackle the paperwork. If you can\u2019t see the wood for the trees,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/contact\/\">contact me<\/a>. Together we can sift the must-dos from the red herrings and you\u2019ll leave our call with a plan and a massive boost to your divorce confidence.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"you_are_not_alone\"><\/span>You Are Not Alone<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Christmas can feel like the loneliest season if you\u2019re getting divorced. All the Christmas adverts showcase happy family gatherings, with all the glitz and glamour on top. Friends complain about visiting their in-laws, and while you might be pleased not to have to do that anymore, a part of you is in pain that they\u2019re no longer part of your Christmas routine. Maybe you won\u2019t be with your children this Christmas, or it won\u2019t be the same as it used to be. \u00a0 You are not alone. The Absolute Academy is full of women who get it. They know what it\u2019s like to feel at rock bottom. And they know what it\u2019s like to need more \u2013 to have faith that the future holds so much more. The Absolute Academy is open right through the holidays. I\u2019m even opening a zoom room on Christmas Day. You don\u2019t need to be alone. It\u2019s ok to be sad \u2013 it\u2019s a normal response to a difficult time. But believe me, it\u2019s so much easier to be sad with others who understand. \u00a0 If you\u2019re wondering what to get yourself as a present this Christmas, come and join us. Yes, you\u2019ll get answers to your divorce questions and a road map to save you so much time and energy. But, right now, perhaps the most important thing is you\u2019ll know what it\u2019s like to be part of a community of women who are riding the divorce wave, just like you. Who want to make smart choices for their future, just like you. And who know how to relax and have fun, just like you (even if that feels low on your agenda right now). \u00a0 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/the-absolute-academy\/\">Come and join us.<\/a>\u00a0You won\u2019t regret it.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"about_emma\"><\/span>About Emma<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/about-me-emma-heptonstall\/\"><b>Emma Heptonstall,<\/b><\/a><\/span>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is the author of the Amazon best-selling book\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/How-Be-Lady-Who-Leaves\/dp\/1999631501\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/b><\/span><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self-study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. Emma is also the host of\u00a0\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/gb\/podcast\/the-six-minute-divorce-podcast-with-emma-heptonstall\/id1547792197\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>The Six Minute Divorce Podcast<\/b><\/span><\/a>. To find out more visit\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/b><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you\u2019re in the midst of divorce during December it can be hard to summon any Christmas spirit. As well as getting all the presents bought and wrapped, you\u2019ve got hearings to prepare for. Getting festive and taking time off is the last thing on your mind. So how do you\u00a0prepare for court hearings at [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":17662,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,397,582,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17656","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-christmas","category-divorce-self-care","category-high-conflict-divorce","category-i-want-to-leave-my-husband"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Blog-13th-Dec-2021.png?fit=1000%2C516&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6aDhr-4AM","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17656","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17656"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17656\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17662"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17656"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17656"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17656"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}