{"id":18005,"date":"2022-08-29T06:30:17","date_gmt":"2022-08-29T05:30:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?p=18005"},"modified":"2022-08-05T12:31:06","modified_gmt":"2022-08-05T11:31:06","slug":"friends-and-family-during-divorce-5-dos-and-donts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/friends-and-family-during-divorce-5-dos-and-donts\/","title":{"rendered":"Friends And Family During Divorce: 5 Dos and Don\u2019ts"},"content":{"rendered":"

Friends and family during divorce can be a godsend. Perhaps you’re even thinking about that right now? A lot of my clients put their divorce to one side during the summer holidays. If you have children at home you don\u2019t have the headspace, and if you don\u2019t it\u2019s still a good time to go a little slower and have fun – especially as your solicitor may well be on holiday anyway. So as we get towards September, lots of women are thinking about the divorce paperwork again.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The decisions, the forms, the wrangling. It\u2019s stressful, there\u2019s no getting away from it. And loved ones can be a huge support. But, beware, they can also provide a lot of extra complications and drama. So here are five dos and don\u2019ts to keep it helpful and not stressful when family and friends get involved.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Do: set boundaries<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

This first one\u2019s a biggie. Of course, your friends and family care about you and want the best for you. But does that mean they are always best placed to help you? Or that they don\u2019t have their own agenda? No.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The good thing is, you know your loved ones: their quirks and flaws included. If you know that Auntie May loves drama don\u2019t feed the gossip machine! If she\u2019s on the phone wanting to know how you are, take a moment before giving all the juicy details.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And if your best friend went through divorce five years ago and has appointed herself your mentor, beware! She may be kind and wise. She may love you. But her divorce is not your divorce. It\u2019s not her place to be a self-appointed expert and chances are she\u2019s processing her own emotions through your divorce.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So what can you do instead? Let them know you\u2019re thankful for their kindness and concern, but that you have a plan in place. You\u2019re doing your research and you\u2019ll make the decisions that are right for you, in your own time.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Do: ask for the help you need<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

So many of us feel like we have to just get on with it, whatever life throws at us. It\u2019s so ingrained in us that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Believe me when I say the opposite is true. Asking for help is a sign of strength. It shows:<\/span><\/p>\n