{"id":18108,"date":"2022-09-05T06:30:58","date_gmt":"2022-09-05T05:30:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?p=18108"},"modified":"2022-08-31T13:54:26","modified_gmt":"2022-08-31T12:54:26","slug":"is-it-separation-september-for-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/is-it-separation-september-for-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Is it \u2018Separation September\u2019 for you?"},"content":{"rendered":"

September is peak divorce season, and there are lots of reasons for that. But what about you – does this year mark \u2018Separation September\u2019 for you? Maybe you\u2019re seriously considering embarking on divorce this September. Maybe you\u2019re in the thick of things already. Wherever you\u2019re at on your divorce journey, in this blog we\u2019ll explore what Separation September means to you, and how you can navigate it.<\/p>\n

<\/span>Why is September so busy in the divorce courts?<\/span><\/h2>\n

Traditionally, January has held the title of \u2018divorce month\u2019, with the weeks after Christmas holidays seeing a boom in divorce applications. However, it looks like September\u2019s giving January a run for its money. In 2020<\/a>, divorce applications at the end of September were double the usual daily average.<\/p>\n

And why is this? There\u2019s not been any in-depth sociological research, but, from supporting clients over the years, I have a few ideas:<\/p>\n

<\/span>The summer holiday throws routines out<\/span><\/h3>\n

July and August often see routines go by the wayside. If you have school children, the holidays turn everything upside down. And if you don\u2019t, quite often there\u2019s a knock on effect with other people being on holiday, evening classes stopping and people making the most of good weather. Workplaces slow down as people are out of the office. Plus the longer, hot days tend to encourage us to operate a little differently.<\/p>\n

Changes in routine can bring many things. For some, it offers a welcome, necessary insight into where they\u2019ve got stuck into tired, outmoded grooves. They start to see cracks in their marriage more clearly. There\u2019s a space for contemplation and wondering how life could have been, or could be in the future. Does that inevitably lead to divorce? Of course not. Ideally it leads to a productive conversation with your spouse – which may in turn lead to a healthier marriage. But it certainly brings to the fore anything that\u2019s out of kilter.<\/p>\n

<\/span>You spend more time together<\/span><\/h3>\n

Many people have their main holiday over the summer months. This means you\u2019re spending more time in each other\u2019s company – which can be a joy and a blessing as a couple if you get on. But what if the opposite is true? What if you\u2019ve been limping along in your marriage and being thrust into each other\u2019s company 24\/7 highlights just how much you irritate each other?<\/p>\n

Again, this realisation isn\u2019t a sign divorce is inevitably on the cards. But it is a sign to act: to address the issues in your marriage. And for some, the healthiest way to address them is with separation. And for many, it makes sense to start that paperwork \u2018once life has settled down to normal again\u2019: i.e. in September.<\/p>\n

<\/span>You spend more money<\/span><\/h3>\n

One of the most testing issues for any marriage is finances. How much money you have, what you spend it on and who gets to decide. Again, summer, just like Christmas, has a way of bringing these issues front and centre. With children off school and needing entertainment, the costs can rack up. And that piles on the pressure.<\/p>\n

As with the other summer strains – it\u2019s how you deal with it that matters. Working together to budget and jointly agree priorities can strengthen your marriage. But if your relationship is struggling, money issues can be the straw that breaks the camel\u2019s back.<\/p>\n

<\/span>September is a \u2018new year\u2019<\/span><\/h3>\n

For many of us, September is an ideal time to instigate life changes – whether that\u2019s signing up for a new evening class, joining a gym or putting in your divorce application. Unlike January, we\u2019re not in the darkest, coldest time of the year. Students and school children are embarking on new adventures. Autumn brings the winds of change – and it\u2019s catching. The three months between September and Christmas is an ideal block to develop a skill, work on a project, and get things done after the lack of routine of the hot summer months.<\/p>\n

<\/span>What\u2019s your story?<\/span><\/h2>\n

So, what about you? Do any of those scenarios ring true for you? Or is there something else that\u2019s on your mind as we hit September?<\/p>\n

Maybe you\u2019re already in the thick of things and September is more of a continuation than a new start. For you, September can be a time to settle into a new rhythm – to stop letting things drag on and instead make real progress on your divorce before Christmas.<\/p>\n

Maybe you\u2019re not set on divorce – but you know something\u2019s not right with your life, with your marriage. And you want to understand why, and fix things if you can.<\/p>\n

Or maybe this is another September you\u2019ve felt restless, like you know there\u2019s more to life, and to love. You\u2019ve put it off, but in your heart you know divorce is the best course of action. You don\u2019t want to let another year slip through your fingers.<\/p>\n

Wherever you\u2019re at, be kind to yourself. Kindness means forgiving yourself – for past mistakes, for not acting sooner, for whatever it is you are torturing yourself with. And, importantly, kindness means not carrying on with things that aren\u2019t serving you well: whether that\u2019s your thought patterns, your routines or your marriage.<\/p>\n

<\/span>Let me help you get your answers<\/span><\/h2>\n

I am running a FREE challenge from 12-14 September to help you uncover your own answers this September.<\/p>\n

I believe that divorcing like a CEO is the best way forward – CEO\u2019s make informed decisions that they spend time reflecting on. They have vision, strategy and a sense of purpose. And you can for your divorce too.<\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t about pushing you to divorce if it\u2019s not the right decision for you (I am a big believer in healthy marriage!). And, if divorce is the way you\u2019re going, it\u2019s not about telling you what choices to make. Every relationship and set of circumstances is different.<\/p>\n

It is<\/em> about:<\/p>\n