{"id":18638,"date":"2023-01-23T06:30:55","date_gmt":"2023-01-23T06:30:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?p=18638"},"modified":"2023-01-11T13:27:42","modified_gmt":"2023-01-11T13:27:42","slug":"essential-guide-to-divorce-when-money-is-tight","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/essential-guide-to-divorce-when-money-is-tight\/","title":{"rendered":"Your essential guide to divorce when money is tight"},"content":{"rendered":"

Around this time of year the papers run a story about \u2018Blue Monday\u2019: how the combination of winter weather, Christmas forgotten and the credit card bill means it\u2019s the most depressing day of the year. Of course, it\u2019s complete nonsense, there\u2019s no mathematical formula for how everyone will feel in January! But, this year, it is true to say that many of us are feeling the pinch. And money is already one of the major stresses in divorce. So this week on the blog I\u2019m sharing your essential guide to divorce when money is tight.<\/p>\n

<\/span>Step 1: Know your numbers<\/span><\/h2>\n

When you\u2019re divorcing it can feel like you\u2019re negotiating in a tub of strawberry jelly. Everything is wobbly, you can\u2019t nail down what will happen and it\u2019s all out of control. When you\u2019re divorcing in a cost of living crisis, with escalating bills and fluctuating housing markets, it feels even more volatile. But you can\u2019t wait for the economy to settle to get your divorce settlement in order. It\u2019s up to you to create order out of chaos. Here\u2019s how to do it:<\/p>\n

<\/span>1. Get to grips with your assets<\/span><\/h3>\n

Your assets are anything that you own that is of value. Assets include your home, and other property, cars, jewellery, furniture and antiques, electronics, savings accounts and life insurance policies. When it comes to calculating your assets, it pays to be scrupulous. Don\u2019t guess the value of your home, car, or wedding ring. Get it valued. Dig out any forgotten savings accounts or investment portfolios and see what the numbers are.<\/p>\n

<\/span>2. What are your liabilities?<\/span><\/h3>\n

A liability is anything that costs you money. Loans, mortgages, credit card bills all come into this category. If you subtract the cost of your liabilities from the total of your assets, you\u2019ll end up with a net worth snapshot.<\/p>\n

<\/span>3. What\u2019s your pension situation?<\/span><\/h3>\n

Pensions are technically assets, but I want to mention them separately, as they are so often overlooked! When negotiating financial settlements women often consider their current situation and ignore any marital pension entitlement. This is a mistake, especially if you\u2019ve been the main caregiver and your spouse the main breadwinner. It will leave you with a very lean future. So pay attention to any pensions you may have contributed to in the past, and those of your spouse. Make sure those figures feature in any negotiations.<\/p>\n

<\/span>4. What do you spend money on?<\/span><\/h3>\n

Next, think about where your money goes each week. What are your regular costs? Include both essentials and the nice-to-haves you\u2019ve been accustomed to buying when you think about your spending. If the money is available, there\u2019s no reason why your lifestyle should change dramatically when you get divorced. Take a look at your current account, and wherever else you spend money from, and categorise your transactions by food, household, hobbies and fun, clothing, holidays – or choose categories that make sense to you. If money is in short supply, this exercise can really help you see where money can drip away without you realising.<\/p>\n

<\/span>5. What are your future needs?<\/span><\/h3>\n

Financial settlements in divorce aren\u2019t just about now, they\u2019re about ensuring both parties have financial security into the future, if possible. So think honestly about your future financial needs. It may be that your costs will reduce in the future, for example, if your children leave home to get jobs. It may be that your earning potential will increase after retraining. Or you may need to budget for increased costs, for example if you have young children or if any of you have health needs that will require support.<\/p>\n

<\/span>Step 2: Work on your self worth<\/span><\/h2>\n

Once you\u2019ve done all that you\u2019ll have some black and white financial figures. But, actually, personal finance isn\u2019t just about the numbers. It\u2019s also about your own sense of worth. If you\u2019re telling yourself you\u2019re not worth anything, and you\u2019ll just get by with whatever happens, you\u2019re not going to be able to give future-you the best shot at a fulfilling life.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s time to consider the big picture. What\u2019s important to you going forward? What would you like your future to look like? Remember, divorce doesn\u2019t have to just be something to get through. It\u2019s also an opportunity. A time to get back to who you are and who you want to be. Set aside 15 minutes with a journal and ask yourself:<\/p>\n