{"id":18716,"date":"2023-04-20T06:30:48","date_gmt":"2023-04-20T05:30:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?p=18716"},"modified":"2023-04-03T08:30:32","modified_gmt":"2023-04-03T07:30:32","slug":"top-five-ways-to-reduce-stress-in-your-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/top-five-ways-to-reduce-stress-in-your-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"Top Five Ways To Reduce Stress In Your Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"

Divorce brings stress, and you can\u2019t always control how much. It all depends on the complexity of your case, whether children are involved, the behaviour of your soon-to-be-ex and everything else going on in your life at the same time. There are, however, some things you can do to make your divorce sailing as smooth as possible. Here are my top five ways to reduce stress in your divorce.<\/p>\n

<\/span>1. Make time for it<\/span><\/h2>\n

I doubt anyone has divorce on their bucket list, just for the life experience. Even if you were the one who ended things, divorce lands as an unwelcome guest in your life. It can be tempting to squeeze it into as little time as possible, so it doesn\u2019t take over your life.<\/p>\n

But, actually, that has the opposite effect. Your divorce will need your attention to make it happen. Without that attention it can drag on for years, or be dictated by your soon-to-be-ex. So, do the difficult thing and make time for it. Maybe you\u2019ll set aside an evening a week (my weekly Q&As in The Absolute Academy<\/a> are great for this), or some time at the weekend. Even if you don\u2019t set aside specific slots, you\u2019ll need to find headspace and time to do your divorce every week. That might mean stopping doing some other things for a while.<\/p>\n

<\/span>2. Have a plan<\/span><\/h2>\n

If you don\u2019t have a plan, you\u2019ll end up following your soon-to-be-ex\u2019s plan, or your solicitor\u2019s plan, and spending a lot of money!<\/p>\n

So what is a divorce plan? It\u2019s a road map to your future: a future you\u2019re happy with. And what does it need to include? All sorts of things, like your desired outcome, your financial needs, your housing and your career intentions. You can read my comprehensive guide to creating your own divorce plan here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

<\/span>3. Get professional help<\/span><\/h2>\n

I don\u2019t run my business alone. I have help with my planning, operations, words, social media, accounts. I do this because I know the people I enlist can do these things more quickly and effectively than me, and because it frees me up to really be there for my clients and do the best work I can.<\/p>\n

Working with (the right) professionals is an investment. It\u2019s an investment in your time and emotional health, for starters: you\u2019ll find divorce a lot less stressful if you have a team of trusted professionals supporting you. It can also save you a lot of money: clients have saved thousands in solicitor\u2019s fees by working with me.<\/p>\n

As an aside it can be tempting to instruct a solicitor straightaway: don\u2019t! You may benefit from a solicitor at some point in your divorce, but not usually straightaway, unless there are particular fraud or safety issues you need to get protection from. Read the blogs<\/a>, listen to the podcast<\/a>, join The Absolute Academy<\/a>, and when the time is right, you\u2019ll know exactly what you need from a legal team.<\/p>\n

<\/span>4. Get practical help<\/span><\/h2>\n

As I said back at point one, divorce takes time. It will land in your life, and you\u2019ll need to make room for it. One of the best ways of doing this is asking for help from friends and family. Please don\u2019t be scared to say to people \u2018I\u2019ve got a tough ride ahead of me and I\u2019m going to need some support. Can I call on you?\u2019.<\/p>\n

No-one worth their salt is going to be rude to you about it. Sure, some people may say they\u2019re too busy to help at particular moments, but just ask someone else. You know you\u2019ll pay it forward when you can. Ask for help with:<\/p>\n