{"id":19030,"date":"2023-06-15T06:30:16","date_gmt":"2023-06-15T05:30:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?p=19030"},"modified":"2023-06-15T13:08:15","modified_gmt":"2023-06-15T12:08:15","slug":"top-5-ways-to-get-on-top-of-your-divorce-finances","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/top-5-ways-to-get-on-top-of-your-divorce-finances\/","title":{"rendered":"Top 5 Ways To Get On Top Of Your Divorce Finances"},"content":{"rendered":"

For most couples, divorce isn\u2019t the difficult part. It\u2019s agreeing arrangements for money and children – that\u2019s where it all gets nasty. It\u2019s particularly difficult if you weren\u2019t the main financial manager in your marriage. Maybe your soon-to-be-ex took charge of the money, and you were both fine with that while it worked. But now\u2019s the time to take back control. Here are my top five ways to get on top of your divorce finances.<\/p>\n

<\/span>1. See your own story<\/span><\/h2>\n

Before we get anywhere near practical action, it\u2019s important to do the groundwork. To know what your current relationship with money is. Which person are you?<\/p>\n

A. I like being on top of my money, in good times and bad
\nB. I think my finances are fine but I don\u2019t really know what\u2019s going on
\nC. I\u2019m terrible at money and I can\u2019t do this<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re person A, great! Having the attitude that you are in control of your finances rather than them being in control of you is exactly the sort of way to manage your divorce finances. You never know what curveballs life may throw, but this approach means you\u2019ll handle it.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re person B, now is the time to open the box! You may find financial admin a chore, but it really is worth your while making friends with your financial situation, whatever state it\u2019s in. A big reason for this is that if people are asked to guess how much money they need to live on, or the value of their house contents, they often wildly underestimate! You are doing yourself a huge disservice if you let your soon-to-be-ex call all the finance shots in divorce and hope it will be ok.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re person C, I want you to put both feet on the floor and take a deep breath. And I want you to know this: you have all the skills and abilities you need to manage your money. You really do. Yes, it will take some learning, but you can do it step by step. If you need help, there is help out there: from independent financial advisers to the Citizens\u2019 Advice Bureau. But the first step is the bravest, deciding you are going to face this fear. And I am here to help you.<\/p>\n

<\/span>2. Know your values<\/span><\/h2>\n

So you know which camp you\u2019re in when it comes to you and money. But what about you and life?! This is a biggie, because actually, we can spend a lot of energy on the wrong things in divorce. Like power games with your soon-to-be-ex, which can be so tempting, especially if they are behaving like a right tool!<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what I want you to remember. Your divorce isn\u2019t about them. It\u2019s not even about your marriage ending. It\u2019s about you and your future. It\u2019s the start of something new. And what\u2019s this all got to do with money?<\/p>\n

Money is what helps us live the life we want to live. It\u2019s not there for its own sake. It can be hard when your lifestyle has to change – which it inevitably will do through divorce.<\/p>\n

If there is plenty of money in your marriage you will be able to continue much of what you did before, but do you really want to? And if there\u2019s not enough money to replicate married life, this really is your sign to delve into what\u2019s important to you. You can read more about getting to know your values here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

<\/span>3. Get organised<\/span><\/h2>\n

The best way to get on top of your divorce finances is to create time and space for it in your life. Set aside time each week to progress your understanding of your finances and progress your divorce admin. I know life is busy, but make this a non-negotiable: your future life depends on it!<\/p>\n

Our brains feel calmer when they know there\u2019s a sense of order. It means they can relax. So create some order. Move the emails to a folder labelled \u2018divorce finance\u2019. Set up an online folder. Buy a concertina folder for all your paperwork. And make sure you have time each week to do what needs doing: opening bank statements, responding to emails, doing financial research.<\/p>\n

<\/span>4. Know your assets and liabilities<\/span><\/h2>\n

Your assets are everything you own that has material value: house, car, jewellery, artwork, business interests, investments, savings, pension. It feels daunting to understand the full picture, but you absolutely must. Do not skimp on this, you are cheating your future self if you do. And don\u2019t guess! Most of us are terrible guessers. Use the internet to research current value. Open the bank accounts, including the forgotten ones.<\/p>\n

Your liabilities are everything you owe. Mortgages, loans, debt. If you haven\u2019t been on top of this sometimes it can come as a nasty surprise. You might have a lavish lifestyle that\u2019s propped up by an awful lot of debt. Anything that\u2019s in your name and in joint names is your liability.<\/p>\n

It is always, always far better to know where you stand. Then you can seek the support you need: whether that\u2019s financial advice to make the most of your assets, asset tracers if you\u2019re in a high wealth marriage and you suspect your soon-to-be-ex is hiding something from you, or debt advice if you need help managing.<\/p>\n

<\/span>5. Know your living costs<\/span><\/h2>\n

Once you\u2019ve got a picture of your assets and liabilities, you need to understand what your day-to-day living costs are. What do you need to maintain your lifestyle? When looking at this it\u2019s important to do three things:<\/p>\n