{"id":1928,"date":"2016-05-07T16:12:13","date_gmt":"2016-05-07T15:12:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?p=1928"},"modified":"2023-05-18T16:41:34","modified_gmt":"2023-05-18T15:41:34","slug":"an-open-letter-to-the-lady-who-wants-to-leave","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/an-open-letter-to-the-lady-who-wants-to-leave\/","title":{"rendered":"An open letter to the lady who wants to leave"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_code _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;] <iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/17670020\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/f8ecec\/\" height=\"90\" width=\"100%\" scrolling=\"no\"  allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen><\/iframe>[\/et_pb_code][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Text&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.20.4&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; use_border_color=&#8221;off&#8221; border_color=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; border_style=&#8221;solid&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<h1><span style=\"color: #c984a4;\">An Open Letter To The Lady Who Wants to Leave<\/span><\/h1>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">AN OPEN LETTER TO YOU<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">Dear Lady who wants to leave,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;\">Dear Lady who wants to leave, its not easy is it? In fact, its damned hard. It doesn&#8217;t matter where in the world you are or what money you have. Leaving is scary and it hurts like hell.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.7em;\">As those of you who receive my news letter will know, I&#8217;ve been on an amazing 4 week holiday in Vietnam and Malaysia, staying with one of my BFFs in the world ever!<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"text_exposed_show\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">As I write to you, it&#8217;s 5:55am in Dubai and I&#8217;m half way home.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">Whilst I&#8217;ve been away, I&#8217;ve been answering your emails and chatting with some of you over Skype. Yes, the world gets smaller all the time!<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">The thing is, when I looked, I found ladies just like you in the sunshine of Asia where it&#8217;s a constant 35c and it&#8217;s cheap to live. Where most expats have a very comfortable life with a pool, a driver and plenty of disposable income.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">And do you know what?<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">Some of them are miserable. They want to leave their husbands.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">Just like you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">They love the &#8216;trappings&#8217; of the expat life. The villa, the driver, the pool, the holidays and shopping trips.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">Ironic that phrase &#8216;trappings&#8217; isn&#8217;t it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">They feel trapped. Living thousands of miles from close family and their oldest friends, they feel trapped.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">I spent some of my holiday supporting a client to see that she can leave. We looked at her values &#8211; what&#8217;s important to her. She&#8217;s had a &#8216;nice&#8217; expat life. A &#8216;nice&#8217; life with a husband who shows her no affection. A husband who criticizes her and tells her in Vietnam she is nothing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">I&#8217;ll call this lady Penny (that&#8217;s not her real name). Penny is a smart lady. She has experience of a corporate consulting job. She hasn&#8217;t &#8216;worked&#8217; for 8 years.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">What she has done is support her husband and children to move several times to several continents. Organising, supporting, sacrificing, getting her children settled into new schools. She&#8217;s resilient, tenacious and courageous. She needs support to get her job skills up to date. And then? What employer wouldn&#8217;t want a woman who&#8217;s smart, tenacious courageous who has lived all over the world working for them?<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">It&#8217;ll be tough for Penny. She&#8217;s not English, she has cultural pressures too. But she&#8217;s doing it. Penny wants more than the &#8216;trappings&#8217; of the expat life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">&#8220;I want to be me again&#8221; she said.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">You see ultimately, houses, money status don&#8217;t make you happy. Only you can do that by being true to yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">Spend time with your BFF when you can. Take a break. It doesn&#8217;t have to be far, but getting away from your &#8216;normal&#8217; helps to change your state and get perspective.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">It&#8217;ll help you see both yourself and your situation differently.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">Ask your BFF what your greatest strengths and qualities are. Be prepared to be surprised to hear just how fantastic you really are.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">I bet, like Penny, you forgot.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">I know it&#8217;ll be hard.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">I also know it&#8217;ll be worth it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">And,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">I know you can do it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">Love Emma x<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;\">I\u2019m Emma The Divorce Alchemist. I support ladies who leave make smart emotional and financial decisions on divorce. If you have got your copy yet, you can download your free copy of The Smart woman\u2019s Divorce Guide by putting your details in the box below. As well as the Guide, you\u2019ll receive a weekly newsletter from me with support and advice on how to get through your divorce both emotionally and financially. I share practical tips, explain the divorce process and often offer my paid for services at reduced rates for subscribers. You can unsubscribe at any time.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>If you\u2019d like to know more about me, you can visit my website at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/\"><span class=\"s2\">www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/span><\/a> or find me on Facebook at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/thedivorcealchemist\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">www.facebook.com\/thedivorcealchemist<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p>[mailmunch-form id=&#8221;18405&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>An Open Letter To The Lady Who Wants to Leave AN OPEN LETTER TO YOU Dear Lady who wants to leave, Dear Lady who wants to leave, its not easy is it? In fact, its damned hard. It doesn&#8217;t matter where in the world you are or what money you have. Leaving is scary and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1929,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,301],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1928","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-i-want-to-leave-my-husband","category-podcast"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/Dear-Lady-who-wants-to-leave.png?fit=640%2C640&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6aDhr-v6","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1928","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1928"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1928\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1929"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1928"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1928"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1928"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}