{"id":1938,"date":"2016-06-14T19:01:33","date_gmt":"2016-06-14T18:01:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?p=1938"},"modified":"2023-05-18T14:03:29","modified_gmt":"2023-05-18T13:03:29","slug":"divorce-5-facts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/divorce-5-facts\/","title":{"rendered":"Divorce and The 5 Facts &#8211; which should you choose?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_code _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/17757296\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/c5b2b1\/\" height=\"90\" width=\"100%\" scrolling=\"no\"  allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen><\/iframe><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/17757347\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/c5b2b1\/\" height=\"90\" width=\"100%\" scrolling=\"no\"  allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen><\/iframe><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/17757392\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/c5b2b1\/\" height=\"90\" width=\"100%\" scrolling=\"no\"  allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen><\/iframe><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/17757431\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/c5b2b1\/\" height=\"90\" width=\"100%\" scrolling=\"no\"  allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen><\/iframe><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/17757479\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/c5b2b1\/\" height=\"90\" width=\"100%\" scrolling=\"no\"  allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen><\/iframe><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/17757521\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/c5b2b1\/\" height=\"90\" width=\"100%\" scrolling=\"no\"  allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen><\/iframe>[\/et_pb_code][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Text&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.20.4&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; use_border_color=&#8221;off&#8221; border_color=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; border_style=&#8221;solid&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<h1><span style=\"color: #c984a4;\">Divorce and the 5 Facts<\/span><\/h1>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;\"><em>Divorce and the 5 Facts<\/em>. Any idea what I&#8217;m talking about? Well if you&#8217;re considering divorce in England and Wales, you should. You may be more familiar with the concepts of the &#8216;<em>grounds for divorce<\/em>&#8216; right? Yes? You&#8217;re thinking adultery, unreasonable behaviour etc? Yes? Well actually, no! You see there is only 1 ground for divorce is England and Wales. This is that your marriage has broken down irretrievably. <\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;\">So what about these &#8216;grounds&#8217; that you&#8217;ve heard of then? These grounds are actually known as &#8220;the five facts&#8221; and are used to prove that&#8217;s your marriage has indeed broken down irretrievably. So how do you decide which of the five facts to use and does it really matter?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;\">Which of the five facts you use Will depend on your circumstances and how you feel. Some of the facts can only be used if in the time frame allows, for example, you and your husband have been separated for two years and both of you agree to divorce. It could be that you and your husband have been separated for five years; then his consent is not needed. <\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;\">But what if you do not want to wait 2 or five years? If you do not feel able to wait, you are left with ending your marriage either on the grounds of adultery or unreasonable behaviour. Currently under English law if you wish to get divorced before the two year period has expired one of you the respondent must be at fault. It is hoped that this will soon change but as yet the law remains.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"adultery\"><\/span><span style=\"color: #877674;\">Adultery<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;\">If you are to be the petitioner (the person applying for the divorce), this must be your husbands adultery with a member of the opposite sex. You cannot apply for divorce on the grounds of your own adultery, nor if your husband is having an affair with another man. The adultery must have occurred within six months of you finding out. If more than six months have elapsed after you&#8217;ve found out about the adultery, you cannot rely on this ground. His adultery may occur after you have physically separated (whether or not you still live together in the family home).<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"unreasonable_behaviour\"><\/span><span style=\"color: #877674;\">Unreasonable Behaviour<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;\">Unreasonable behaviour &#8211; this must be your husband&#8217;s unreasonable behaviour. If you want to rely on your own unreasonable behaviour, your husband will have to divorce you. There is no definition of unreasonable behaviour, but you must show that it is intolerable for you continue to live with your husband. Some examples \u00a0include name-calling, financial abuse, excessive drinking, withholding sexual intercourse and bullying. You do not need to find extreme examples (even if they exist), and often using these will complicate matters, so avoid using examples which may inflame the situation, if possible. There is a balance to be had between proving sufficient evidence to justify the fact being made out and aggravating matters.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"two_years_separation_with_consent\"><\/span><span style=\"color: #877674;\">Two Years Separation with Consent<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;\">You may apply for divorce on the grounds that you and your husband have been separated for at least two years preceding the application, and both of you agree to the divorce. You may be separated whilst living in same house. This is common. You are considered to be separated if you no longer share a bedroom, are no longer sexually intimate with each other, and you&#8217;re no longer cooking and cleaning or behaving in any way that would indicate you are still in a relationship. If it is at all possible, this can often be the easiest way to divorce, as you don&#8217;t need to point the finger of blame. However, it&#8217;s often the case that your financial situation won&#8217;t allow for the two of you to separate without resolving matters with a Financial Order because you need access to funds that are tied up in the marital home for example. \u00a0Further, you obviously cannot remarry until you are divorced, which may be a reason to move your divorce on.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"five_years_separation\"><\/span><span style=\"color: #877674;\">Five Years Separation<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;\">Perhaps you and your husband have been separated for 5 years or longer. It might be that you&#8217;ve just never got round to getting a divorce, it didn&#8217;t feel right or he didn&#8217;t want to. If you and your husband have been separated for five years preceding application, you do not need his consent to the divorce. It&#8217;s wise however, if you can, to discuss this with him and seek his opinion so that you are aware of what may happen next.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"desertion\"><\/span><span style=\"color: #877674;\">Desertion<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;\">Desertion is a ground rarely relied on today. You must prove that desertion occurred two years prior to the application for divorce and that your husband intended to desert you. You might consider using this ground if your husband cannot be found but you don&#8217;t believe him to be dead. If you and your husband accept the marriage is over, there are easier ways to ask for a divorce.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"which_of_the_5_facts_should_i_choose\"><\/span><span style=\"color: #c984a4;\">Which of the 5 Facts Should I choose?<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;\">It really depends. If you (for whatever reason) feel that you do not want to wait two or even five years, and you want an immediate divorce, the only options available to you are adultery or unreasonable behaviour. Remember that if you have known about your husbands adultery for more than six months you will be precluded from using this ground. Both men and women often get very upset when being divorced on the grounds of Adultery because of the stigma and shame that still exists in society. It&#8217;s important to remember that the court does not sit in judgement on anyone in respect of the 5 Facts. <strong><em>\u00a0Whichever of the 5 Facts you choose to rely on, it will not have any bearing on your financial settlement<\/em><\/strong>. It may be tempting when divorcing on the grounds of adultery, to name your husband&#8217;s lover as a co-respondent to the divorce. You will be asked on the form if you wish to do this. Think twice. Pride, anger and frustration may lead you to do this, but naming a co-respondent may delay your divorce and it&#8217;s likely to inflame the situation. This will increase your costs. It is not legally necessary to name them and it will have no bearing very financial settlement or order that&#8217;s made by the court.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"can_we_agree_the_5_facts\"><\/span><span style=\"color: #c984a4;\">Can we agree the 5 Facts?<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;\">Oh yes,absolutely! and if you can do this, it will make the whole process significantly easier for you both. You can decide who will divorce who, which of the 5 Facts you wish to rely on and the details to be included in the petition. That way, when whomever is the respondent to the petition receives it, there will be no surprises. They can sign the Acknowledgement of Service stating that they consent to the divorce. This will save you both time and money.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"line-height: 1.7em; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;\">I&#8217;m Emma <a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/about-me-emma-heptonstall\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Divorce Alchemist<\/a>. I support Ladies who Leave to make smart emotional and financial decisions on divorce. If you don&#8217;t have your copy yet, you can download The Smart Woman&#8217;s Divorce Guide by completing the box below. <strong>Please note, by signing up, you will receive a series of 7 emails over 28 days to accompany the Guide. You will also receive an email from me each Wednesday morning UK time with hints, tips and advice. I sometimes promote my coaching packages too &#8211; I&#8217;m sure you understand that this is my business :). You may unsubscribe at anytime. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"line-height: 1.7em;\">[mailmunch-form id=&#8221;18405&#8243;]<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Divorce and the 5 Facts Divorce and the 5 Facts. Any idea what I&#8217;m talking about? Well if you&#8217;re considering divorce in England and Wales, you should. You may be more familiar with the concepts of the &#8216;grounds for divorce&#8217; right? Yes? You&#8217;re thinking adultery, unreasonable behaviour etc? Yes? Well actually, no! You see there [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1942,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,301,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1938","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-i-want-to-leave-my-husband","category-podcast","category-the-divorce-process"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Divorce-The-5-Facts.png?fit=640%2C640&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6aDhr-vg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1938","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1938"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1938\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1942"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1938"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1938"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1938"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}