The most important relationship you\u2019ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. Yet this vital connection is one we often neglect, as we get caught up in the demands of everyday life – especially when going through the pressures of divorce.<\/p>\n
In this blog I share five ways you can reconnect with yourself, which is the first, most vital step to living a purposeful and fulfilling life, whether you\u2019re married, in a partnership, happily single or looking for a new relationship. Here are five ways to nurture your relationship with yourself.<\/p>\n
Do you ever feel like you\u2019re just getting through each day, shackled by life rather than actually living it? You\u2019re not alone. When other people need you, and you have multiple demands on your time it\u2019s easy to lose sight of what really matters to you.<\/p>\n
The first step to reconnecting with yourself is taking time to remember, or figure out, what\u2019s important to you. What do I mean by that? Think about:<\/p>\n
Once you can answer these questions for yourself, you\u2019ll have a clearer idea about what\u2019s most important. Next you need to work out how to bring that into everyday life.<\/p>\n
Before you can think about living your values, take a moment to consider whether you have the basics in place. Are you getting enough sleep, movement and nutrition into your days and weeks? This isn\u2019t about turning into Gwyneth Paltrow, it\u2019s about making sure you can prioritise the basics for health and wellbeing.<\/p>\n
In stressful situations, like divorce, these are needed more than ever. And the cruel irony is that these often basics go out the window, as insomnia and comfort eating move in. If you find you\u2019ve slipped into a routine of late nights, too much drinking, or ditching the yoga class, don\u2019t beat yourself up. It\u2019s fine to cut yourself some slack. But do think about what you most need right now.<\/p>\n
A period of not worrying about healthy eating, and living off ready meals can be liberating for a while. But if you\u2019re in a place you don\u2019t want to be when it comes to the foundations of your health, take small, kind steps back to something that serves you better.<\/p>\n
Nurturing your relationship with yourself requires you to be conscious about your relationships with others. This is a real big one for many women, who, like me, find themselves falling into a people pleasing role.<\/p>\n
You are not a mean or unfair person if you call time on habits or behaviours that squeeze you out of your own life. It\u2019s one thing to be friendly and helpful, it\u2019s another to be so accommodating of everyone else\u2019s requests, there\u2019s nothing left for you.<\/p>\n
Setting boundaries involves really thinking about what you want and what you\u2019re prepared to accept in your life, and what you\u2019re not. And then following through on making sure the \u2018nots\u2019 don\u2019t happen. For example, if you\u2019re always the one expected to organise social events at work, or the PTA school fair – consider whether this is realistic for you.<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re doing work on your boundaries, you may find yourself needing to say no to others more:<\/p>\n
Saying no feels hard at first: but like anything, it gets easier with practice. And the best thing about saying no, is that it often frees up time to say yes. Saying \u2018yes\u2019 is an often neglected part of your self-connection – but it\u2019s just as important. We can fall into ruts in terms of our routines, hobbies, and friends. But saying \u2018yes\u2019 to new and different things can help you figure out what really makes you feel good, as opposed to \u2018doing okay\u2019.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s some homework for you: what can you say no to today? And what about yes? What opportunity would you like to seize?<\/p>\n
Building a relationship with yourself doesn\u2019t mean doing everything alone – quite the opposite. It means recognising what makes you feel good, where you feel insecure or worried, and looking after yourself.<\/p>\n
Part of that looking after comes from enlisting other people. Maybe you want to reconnect with friends and could really do with a coffee and chat. Or you realise that a therapist would help you process your feelings. Or you recognise that a coach can move you from feeling overwhelmed to empowered. Where do you need help in being the person you want to be, living the life you want to live? Give yourself the gift of asking for that help.<\/p>\n
Want to join a community of women who get it? Where you can connect, rant, celebrate and move forward with confidence. And, even, have fun while you\u2019re doing it?<\/p>\n
Come and join us in The Absolute Academy. It\u2019s where you\u2019ll find me, answering your questions on live Q&As every week. You get access to the full Get Divorce Ready programme and a treasure trove of other resources, checklists and guides. And you\u2019ll find yourself cheered on by a fantastic community of women as you reconnect to yourself and do divorce your way.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Emma Heptonstall,<\/b><\/a><\/span>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is the author of the Amazon best-selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/b><\/span><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready, the online self-study programmes, and the newly released \u2018Should I be a Lady Who Leaves?\u2019. For More Information on Should I be a Lady Who Leaves?\u00a0click here<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. Emma is also the host of\u00a0\u00a0The Six Minute Divorce Podcast<\/b><\/span><\/a>. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/b><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Nurture your relationship with yourself: In this blog I share five ways you can reconnect with yourself, which is the first, most vital step to living a purposeful and fulfilling life, whether you\u2019re married, in a partnership, happily single or looking for a new relationship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":19422,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[397],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19421","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce-self-care"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/February-2024-5-ways-to-nurture-your-relationship-with-yourself.jpg?fit=1000%2C516&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6aDhr-53f","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19421","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19421"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19421\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19422"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19421"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19421"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19421"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}