If you\u2019re stuck in your divorce, maybe through decision paralysis, or just fatigue as you juggle all the things, now is a perfect time for a reset.<\/p>\n
Just like your home, your divorce can be spruced up. And it\u2019ll leave you feeling more energised, more in control, and more excited about the future. In this blog I share five quick ways to spring clean your divorce. Do these things and you\u2019ll not only feel better, you\u2019ll have a better divorce experience too.<\/p>\n
The very first thing you need to sweep away is your soon-to-be-ex\u2019s debris! Deal with the physical first: belongings still lying around that are theirs, not yours. Or photos of the two of you together. Get a box. And go round every room of your home, removing the items that have strong associations with them. And get it out of sight.<\/p>\n
Next, think about digital. Shared files. Screensavers. How they\u2019re saved on your phone. Reset all of it on your terms.<\/p>\n
Finally, consider how much of your headspace they\u2019re taking up. This is a harder one to deal with, I know. But, if you find yourself dwelling on them, in sadness or anger, for lots of the time, it\u2019s time to squeeze them out with other things. Enlist distractions. Family and friends. Your life is much, much bigger than your marriage and divorce.<\/p>\n
Once you\u2019ve cleared them out of your physical and mental space, it\u2019s time to make physical space for your divorce. Picture this scenario. You want to send your Aunty Diane a birthday card. But, you don\u2019t have any cards. Or stamps. You don\u2019t have her address saved on your phone, and you don\u2019t know where your address book is, because you barely use it anymore. What could have been a 5 minute job turns into a multi-step project because you don\u2019t have everything in one place.<\/p>\n
Now, imagine instead of Aunty Diane, it\u2019s your solicitor that you need to send something to. It\u2019s only an email that needs a quick response. But, because your information is scattered all over the place, you keep putting it off, and that quick email ends up being a thundering headache.<\/p>\n
Give yourself the gift of filing! If you\u2019re a naturally disorganised person, and the thought fills you with horror, just get everything in one box. That will help. It will make it much less daunting next time you have some divorce admin to do. And, if you\u2019re the sort of person who loves an excuse to get more stationery – consider this your permission slip to get colourful and co-ordinated!<\/p>\n
The first two points were about clearing the way. This one is about making sure you\u2019re taking the right action for you. I often say divorce is a marathon, not a sprint, because it\u2019s true. But it\u2019s a marathon without sign posts, where you\u2019re running in cross winds. It\u2019s easy to drift off course. Or to get so busy dealing with emotional drama that you\u2019re running around in circles without moving anything forward.<\/p>\n
So this is your invitation to pause. Take a deep breath and check in with where you\u2019re at with your divorce now. Have you gone into battle-mode – getting aggravated by your soon-to-be-ex and wanting to not let them \u2018win\u2019? If so, I don\u2019t blame you – it\u2019s easy to do, and most of my clients have infuriating exes! But don\u2019t let them claim your time and energy. It\u2019s your future that matters. Your values. Staying true to what\u2019s important to you.<\/p>\n
Get out of react mode and look for the bigger picture.<\/p>\n
Where your attention goes, progress flows. And you can\u2019t give your divorce the time, energy and attention it needs without making space for it.<\/p>\n
So it\u2019s time to spring clean your diary. It doesn\u2019t have to be forever. But what can you pause, or dial down for the next few weeks and months to give yourself the time and space to get your divorce moving?<\/p>\n
No-one can do everything alone. Especially when it comes to divorce. The specific support that’s best for you depends on your circumstances.<\/p>\n
If you have no dependents, shared business interests or assets, and both parties are amicable, you may not need professional input. You\u2019ll still likely benefit from emotional support, a place to process your feelings and friends to lean on. Don\u2019t be afraid to ask for help. My Ask The Alchemist<\/a><\/strong> service might be just the thing if you have niggling questions you want resolving quickly.<\/p>\n At the other end of the spectrum, if you have a high conflict and\/or high net worth marriage, it\u2019s wise to get specialised legal, emotional and financial advice. Build the team you need and have faith in. Make sure that you have a rapport with them, as well as trusting their expertise and credibility.<\/p>\n Want to harness that spring positivity and really get your divorce motoring, so you can enjoy Christmas with all this behind you? Book in a free 30 minute consultation<\/strong><\/a> today.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Emma Heptonstall,<\/b><\/a><\/span>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is the author of the Amazon best-selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/b><\/span><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready, the online self-study programmes, and the newly released \u2018Should I be a Lady Who Leaves?\u2019. For More Information on Should I be a Lady Who Leaves?\u00a0click here<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. Emma is also the host of\u00a0\u00a0The Six Minute Divorce Podcast<\/b><\/span><\/a>. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/b><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" If you\u2019re stuck in your divorce, maybe through decision paralysis, or just fatigue as you juggle all the things, now is a perfect time for a reset. Here are 5 ways to spring clean your divorce.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":19430,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1841,12,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19429","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce-and-mental-health","category-divorce-support","category-the-divorce-process"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/21st-March-2024-5-Ways-To-Spring-Clean-Your-Divorce-min.jpg?fit=1000%2C516&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6aDhr-53n","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19429","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19429"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19429\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19430"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19429"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19429"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19429"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/span>About Emma<\/span><\/h2>\n