{"id":19544,"date":"2024-12-19T06:30:15","date_gmt":"2024-12-19T06:30:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?p=19544"},"modified":"2025-10-20T22:03:37","modified_gmt":"2025-10-20T21:03:37","slug":"5-simple-questions-to-ask-your-divorce-coach","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/5-simple-questions-to-ask-your-divorce-coach\/","title":{"rendered":"5 simple questions to ask your divorce coach"},"content":{"rendered":"

Over the past year the divorce coaching world has exploded, and there\u2019s now more choice than ever when it comes to choosing who to work with as you divorce.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Divorce coaching isn\u2019t a regulated industry. As an ex-lawyer I find this concerning. I see many clients who\u2019ve been burned by working with coaches who weren\u2019t able to give them the support they really needed, or locked them into expensive divorce programmes that weren\u2019t right for them. You can read more about that, and what divorce solicitors think of coaches, <\/span>here<\/a><\/strong>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For now, here are five simple questions to ask your current or prospective divorce coach. I\u2019m happy to answer any of these on our <\/span>15 minute complementary call!<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/span>Questions to ask your divorce coach<\/span><\/h2>\n

<\/span>1. What are your credentials?<\/span><\/h3>\n

The fact that there isn\u2019t one single route to working as a divorce coach is both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, it means you can weigh up what\u2019s important to you, and find the person who feels like the best fit. On the other, it means you don\u2019t know what training, qualifications and experience anyone has without doing some research.<\/span><\/p>\n

So think about what credentials are important to you. What is it you want out of working with your divorce coach? What skills and qualities do they need to have? What evidence do they have of these?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For me, divorce coaching brings together my passion for brokering effective communication, as well as my extensive training. I am a trained and experienced lawyer, coach, mediator and Master NLP practitioner. All of these roles are about listening, moving forward with understanding, and communicating effectively, which means minimising conflict while advocating effectively for yourself. You can <\/span>read more about me and my background here<\/a><\/strong>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>2. Do you have experience of a situation like mine?<\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n

Every divorce is unique because every divorcing couple is unique. As a client you will bring your own set of family dynamics, assets, needs and ambitions. However, every divorce will have to go through the legal process. And while the details of your particular case will be unique to you, there will be parallels with other cases. So it\u2019s important to ask your divorce coach how familiar they are with working with situations like yours.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This is especially important in high conflict and high wealth cases (and some divorces are both high wealth <\/span>and<\/span><\/i> high conflict!). You need an experienced strategist as the \u2018standard\u2019 approaches don\u2019t work, and could leave you seriously out of pocket – both financially and emotionally. Divorce is never an easy ride, but it is a lot smoother when you have an experienced professional alongside you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>3. How can I work with you?<\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n

Is there a package or programme, or can you work flexibly? Is it online or face to face? Find out exactly how you can work with the divorce coach you are interested in. Maybe you don\u2019t want to tie yourself into a ten week programme. Maybe you need a helping hand to get started. Maybe you want accountability so the divorce stays front and centre until you get the consent order agreed. Maybe you want a moderated, trusted community of women, with access to an expert.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>4.Will you give me advice?<\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n

I get it, so often when you\u2019re lost in the swamps of divorce overwhelm, you just want someone to tell you what to do! Let this be a reminder that no divorce coach is there to give you advice. And if a divorce coach tells you they have a blueprint, or foolproof strategy for divorce, consider that a red flag! Why? Because your divorce is about you, it\u2019s as unique as you are. And while it\u2019s valuable for coaches to bring their experience in service of helping you, they aren\u2019t there to give you instructions or advice.<\/span><\/p>\n

I will hold a mirror up to you. I will compassionately call you out if you are avoiding something. I will share relevant anonymised examples of other cases to help you understand your situation and inform your decision making. But, ultimately, you\u2019re in charge.<\/span><\/p>\n

And this is also a good place to remind you that only legal professionals can give legal advice. I can help you make sense of it, and be a sounding board to help you decide what to do going forward, but I will never give you legal advice.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>5. Who else do I need?<\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n

Any divorce coach worth their salt won\u2019t try to be all things to you. They will help you develop your own divorce plan, which means deciding what your direction is, what your priorities are, and what help you will need along the way. A divorce coach with integrity won\u2019t also try to be your specialist financial adviser, lawyer and counsellor!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Help from others might come in all sorts of forms, from being more proactive in asking friends and family for emotional and practical support, to working with a therapist, or instructing an asset tracer for your high conflict, high net worth case.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Working with the right coach is most likely to save you huge amounts of time and money because you can be tactical about who to work with and when, to get the right support as you navigate divorce. So make sure the person you choose is the right one for you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Want to ask me these questions, or anything else to help move your divorce forward? <\/span>Book your free 15 minute consultation here!<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/h2>\n

<\/span>About Emma<\/span><\/h2>\n

Emma Heptonstall,<\/b><\/a><\/span>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is the author of the Amazon best-selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/b><\/span><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready, the online self-study programmes, and the newly released \u2018Should I be a Lady Who Leaves?\u2019. For More Information on Should I be a Lady Who Leaves?\u00a0click here<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. Emma is also the host of\u00a0\u00a0The Six Minute Divorce Podcast<\/b><\/span><\/a>. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/b><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

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Over the past year the divorce coaching world has exploded, and there\u2019s now more choice than ever when it comes to choosing who to work with as you divorce.\u00a0Here are five simple questions to ask your divorce coach – current or prospective.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":19545,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,12],"tags":[2773,2768],"class_list":["post-19544","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce-coaching","category-divorce-support","tag-divorce-coach","tag-divorce-support"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/19th-Dec-2024-5-simple-questions-to-ask-your-divorce-coach-min.jpg?fit=1000%2C516&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6aDhr-55e","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19544","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19544"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19544\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19545"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19544"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19544"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19544"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}

Think about what will suit you best. For example, Tracey contacted me when she was considering leaving her husband. She wanted support from a professional she could trust, but didn\u2019t want to commit to an extended programme, or package of coaching sessions. We had an <\/span>Ask The Alchemist<\/a><\/strong> coaching call, which gave her the space to talk through her feelings and consider what she really wanted from her future. She then decided to come back and work with me a few weeks later.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n