{"id":19675,"date":"2025-06-05T06:30:53","date_gmt":"2025-06-05T05:30:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?p=19675"},"modified":"2025-06-03T15:01:48","modified_gmt":"2025-06-03T14:01:48","slug":"how-to-deal-with-divorce-loneliness-and-one-thing-definitely-not-to-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/how-to-deal-with-divorce-loneliness-and-one-thing-definitely-not-to-do\/","title":{"rendered":"How to deal with divorce loneliness (and one thing definitely NOT to do!)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Loneliness is one of this century\u2019s taboo subjects. We\u2019re in the middle of a loneliness epidemic, with 45% of adults in the UK reporting feeling lonely often, always or sometimes. And divorce brings its own layers of isolation and loneliness, sometimes from surprising sources. In this blog we\u2019ll explore the complexities of divorce loneliness, and steps you can take to deal with it.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>The loneliness of losing your partner<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Many of my clients tell me they miss having their spouse around. Even if they detested them by the end. Even if their behaviour was awful.\u00a0<\/span> And there\u2019s no judgement in this. It makes sense. Humans are creatures of habit, we get used to our routines, and for many of us, change is scary, even if it\u2019s for the best.\u00a0<\/span> Besides which, it can be overwhelming to feel that it\u2019s all on you. There isn\u2019t anyone else to unload the dishwasher, or take the bins out. You need to decide where to book the family holiday on your own, and get on with it. These things can feel liberating, but they can quickly feel exhausting too. Sometimes we just want someone to share the load with (even if we can\u2019t stand them!).\u00a0<\/span> And then there’s the grief. Remembering the good times. 99% of my clients have <\/span>something<\/span><\/i> good to say about their marriage – there were fun adventures, moments of quiet contentment. It is perfectly normal to mourn the loss of what once was, and what you\u2019d hoped would continue.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>The loneliness of disconnect from friends<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Divorce loneliness isn\u2019t only about your relationship ending. It can shine a light on fractures in your other social relationships too.\u00a0<\/span> Perhaps you had joint friends as a couple. And now your marriage has ended, some of those friends have slipped away, or picked a side. It\u2019s very common for friends to seem to evaporate when divorce happens: it\u2019s almost as though they think it\u2019s contagious!\u00a0<\/span> And even when friends and family do stick around and support you, you can feel lonely. One of the loneliest feelings is being surrounded by people who don\u2019t seem to get it. Feeling like you\u2019re on the outside. And that\u2019s what it can feel like, when your social circle is full of married couples and families. What do you do on the weekends now?<\/span> Friends might offer support and well meaning advice, but it makes you wince. They\u2019re coming from a good place, but, really, they have no idea what\u2019s going on in your head.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>The loneliness of disconnect from yourself<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

As well as feeling out of place with friends and family, many of my clients report a loss of connection with themselves when they divorce. Over time, their marriage has robbed them of their identity. They became buried under the demands and routines of everyday life. They got used to compromise, placating their spouse, or just not thinking about what <\/span>they<\/span><\/i> really wanted, and just went with the flow.\u00a0<\/span> Does this sound familiar?\u00a0<\/span> Divorce can launch you into an existential crisis. It can leave you searching for meaning, and wondering what you actually want out of life, and what you want to give to life, as well. And it\u2019s true that this can be a bleak, lonely feeling.<\/span> But I want you to know that this is also an opportunity. Did you really want to live life on autopilot? Divorce is hard, yes. But it\u2019s also a wake up call. It\u2019s an opportunity for a reset – to live life on your terms again.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>3 ways to turn divorce loneliness around<\/b><\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n