{"id":19692,"date":"2025-08-21T06:30:19","date_gmt":"2025-08-21T05:30:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?p=19692"},"modified":"2025-10-28T16:45:07","modified_gmt":"2025-10-28T16:45:07","slug":"creator-mindset-in-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/creator-mindset-in-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"Five Ways To Think As A Creator Rather Than A Victim"},"content":{"rendered":"

This month\u2019s deep dive on the blog is all about shifting into the Empowerment Triangle, and how this can be transformative for your divorce. Read up on the Empowerment Triangle here<\/a><\/strong>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Shifting into Creator mode means you\u2019re able to take the steps forward you need to get the life you want. Doing this in Victim mode is possible, but it\u2019s like carrying a backpack filled with rubble on your back. And, metaphorically, that\u2019s what you\u2019re doing as a Victim – carrying the weight of all the rubble that life has brought you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Developing a Creator mindset takes work. And it can be hard to know what it even looks like. This time on the blog, I\u2019m sharing five ways to think as a creator rather than as a victim, so you can start to consider what this looks like for you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>A Creator is hopeful<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Where a Victim experiences despair, a Creator turns to hope. Better times are on the horizon. Better times are happening from this very minute.<\/span><\/p>\n

What if things could change? What if you got some professional advice and it moved you on? What if you could take the children on holiday on your own and have an amazing time?<\/span><\/p>\n

Whether it\u2019s to do with the divorce process or general life management, living in hope that things will not always be like this gives the Creator energy – which is what we\u2019ll turn to next.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>A Creator is energised<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

It\u2019s understandable to feel ground down by the end of your marriage, and the divorce process. But, unlike a Victim, a Creator doesn\u2019t feel constantly crushed by life. They have a well of energy which comes from a sense of being in control of their own life, and a vision for the future. Rather than agonising about being stuck in a bad place, they are excited for what\u2019s to come. And that\u2019s because they have a vision of what they want, which we\u2019ll move onto next.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>A Creator is inspired<\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

When you know what you want, and what your values are, it\u2019s rocket fuel for your creative energy. You\u2019re no longer struggling with something – the present circumstances. You\u2019re focussed instead on what you can make happen going forward. Whether it\u2019s something like repainting a bedroom to reset your personal space, considering future career options or finding a creative way through complex financial settlements, a Creator is able to step into a place of inspired possibility.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>A Creator is resilient<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

The point of stepping away from Victim mode and into Creator mode isn\u2019t to pretend everything will instantly get better. Yes, you can influence how other people treat you by how you treat yourself and how you show up in the world, but you can\u2019t control what other people do. Chances are your soon-to-be-ex will carry on being a bit of a tool. You might not have the most understanding boss. Friends might not support you as you\u2019d like them to.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But in Creator mode, you know that this has nothing to do with your ability to handle life. You can deal with these curveballs, and take the next step forward. It\u2019s fine to rest and take a break, but you\u2019ll keep on keeping on.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>A Creator is realistic<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

You might have read this far and think \u2018Emma\u2019s in cloud cuckoo land! In reality, life happens and it\u2019s not all rainbows and unicorns.\u2019 Of course, that\u2019s true. As I said just now, your soon-to-be-ex will carry on being a tool. We can\u2019t pretend that navigating life as a Creator makes all your problems disappear. But it does make them easier to deal with. When you know, really truly know that you have the inspiration and resilience you need, the knocks don\u2019t dent you as much.<\/span><\/p>\n

And realism is important too. It\u2019s unlikely that you\u2019ll get exactly what you want all the time. It\u2019s unlikely you\u2019ll feel 100% all the time. So it\u2019s about doing what you can with what you have. Baby steps are what\u2019s important – they are moving you in the right direction.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Are you ready to step into Creator mode?\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

How do you feel reading that list? Are you ready to step into Creator mode? One way to do it, from just \u00a397 a month, is to join The Absolute Academy. You\u2019ll get a kick-start call with me, and all the resources you need to take control of your divorce, including working on your mindset. And, if you opt for the full membership, you\u2019ll also access my Q&As and zoom meetings every single week, to get the support you need directly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Find out more and choose your <\/span>Absolute Academy membership here!<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/span>About Emma<\/span><\/h2>\n

Emma Heptonstall,<\/b><\/a><\/span>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is the author of the Amazon best-selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/b><\/span><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready, the online self-study programmes, and the newly released \u2018Should I be a Lady Who Leaves?\u2019. For More Information on Should I be a Lady Who Leaves?\u00a0click here<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. Emma is also the host of\u00a0\u00a0The Six Minute Divorce Podcast<\/b><\/span><\/a>. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/b><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Developing a Creator mindset takes work. And it can be hard to know what it even looks like. This time on the blog, I\u2019m sharing five ways to think as a creator rather than as a victim, so you can start to consider what this looks like for you. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":19693,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20,397],"tags":[2780,2781],"class_list":["post-19692","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce-coaching","category-divorce-self-care","tag-creative-thinking","tag-self-care"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Aug-21-Five-Ways-To-Think-As-A-Creator-Rather-Than-A-Victim.jpg?fit=1000%2C516&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6aDhr-57C","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19692","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19692"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19692\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19693"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19692"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19692"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19692"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}