{"id":19858,"date":"2025-11-20T05:00:45","date_gmt":"2025-11-20T05:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?p=19858"},"modified":"2025-10-31T12:34:40","modified_gmt":"2025-10-31T12:34:40","slug":"5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready\/","title":{"rendered":"5 ways to prepare for divorce so you\u2019re ready"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title ez-toc-toggle\" style=\"cursor:pointer\"> Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #064239;color:#064239\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #064239;color:#064239\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready\/#make_the_decision\">Make the decision<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready\/#let_yourself_process\">Let yourself process\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready\/#get_your_paperwork_organised\">Get your paperwork organised<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready\/#create_your_vision\">Create your vision<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready\/#plan_the_conversation\">Plan the conversation<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready\/#work_with_me_to_have_a_good_divorce\">Work with me to have a good divorce\u00a0<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready\/#about_emma\">About Emma<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I\u2019m speaking to a lot of women who don\u2019t feel ready to divorce right now. They know their marriage is over, but they\u2019re staying because of financial uncertainty, or waiting until after their 16 year old finishes their GCSEs, or until life \u2018settles down\u2019. &#8216;Prepare for divorce&#8217;\u00a0 isn&#8217;t on their list of to-do&#8217;s right now.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If that\u2019s you, I want to let you in on a little secret. Smart divorce doesn\u2019t start with the big announcement. It doesn\u2019t start with you dealing with your spouse\u2019s reaction, or breaking the news to your children. It starts with a decision. And then some quiet action. All of which is available to you to start &#8211; today. Here are five ways to prepare for divorce so you\u2019re ready to go.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"make_the_decision\"><\/span><b>Make the decision<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The very first thing you need to do is decide whether divorce is the right next step. Because, of course, if your marriage is unhealthy, there are other options open to you. You might consider individual or couples therapy. You might try sharing your worries about your marriage with your spouse, or confide in a trusted friend.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Chances are, though, if you\u2019re reading this blog, you\u2019ve already passed through these steps. It\u2019s time to decide for yourself &#8211; quietly, but firmly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"let_yourself_process\"><\/span><b>Let yourself process<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In my book <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/4nCTTzv\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How To Be A Lady Who Leaves<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I share the very first thing to do when you\u2019ve decided to divorce.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nothing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do nothing. No big decisions about home or work. Don\u2019t even tell anyone. Simply let your decision land, with yourself first. There will be time to deal with everyone and everything else soon enough. The first thing you need to do is allow some grief, and start to accept that this is where you are. Believe me when I say that doing \u2018nothing\u2019 isn\u2019t nothing. It\u2019s a crucial, emotionally active, part of the process.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"get_your_paperwork_organised\"><\/span><b>Get your paperwork organised<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is plenty you can quietly organise if you don\u2019t feel ready or able to actually leave. Do you know where all your important documents are? Do you have access to your bank accounts, including any savings and investments? Do you have household assets such as paintings or jewellery that need valuing?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You will need to know your numbers &#8211; your assets and liabilities &#8211; in detail when it comes to settling financial arrangements, so the more work you can do on this now, the better. And if there are any known unknowns, it will be easier to investigate them now.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"create_your_vision\"><\/span><b>Create your vision<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Divorce is an opportunity for a reset. You get to live life on your terms again.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What do you want your life to be like? What values are important to you, and how can you bring those to life? Think about:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Family<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Home<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Friendships<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Work\/career<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Fun<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And consider what you want and need from all of these. For example, you might not care what your home is like, but you know you want to live in a particular location to be near your children\u2019s school. Or you might decide this is the time to move out of the city, and get a bigger garden. You might want or need to retrain, to secure more financially rewarding work, or work more aligned with career goals.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You won\u2019t be able to wave a magic wand and change things immediately, of course. But the only way to take steps towards the future you want is to create your vision first.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"plan_the_conversation\"><\/span><b>Plan the conversation<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The time will come when you have to break the news. To your spouse, your children, your family and friends. By having a plan, you exert some control over how it goes. You get to choose the time, the place, and what you want to say &#8211; all of which play a big part in the response you get.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Of course, this news is going to be upsetting. But if you think about:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When and where &#8211; what is going to be safest and most emotionally holding for everyone involved?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The words you use &#8211; try as far as possible to state your decision as facts and not get drawn into blame games<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your tone &#8211; speaking with clarity and conviction will land differently to aggression or apology<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your boundaries &#8211; yes you will need to provide some explanation, but you don\u2019t need to respond to every question if you don\u2019t feel able or don\u2019t want to. Considering this in advance will mean you\u2019re more emotionally prepared for what might come up.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And if you want to go deeper you can read more in this article\u00a0 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/divorce-101-the-10-things-you-need-to-get-divorce-ready\/\">Divorce 101: The 10 Things You Need To Get Divorce Ready<\/a><\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"work_with_me_to_have_a_good_divorce\"><\/span><b>Work with me to have a good divorce\u00a0<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I provide divorce coaching at any stage of your divorce journey &#8211; and the very best time to work with me is right at the start. I can help you work through everything we\u2019ve covered on this blog, so you can enter the divorce proceedings feeling calm, in control and excited for your future.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Curious to know how I can help? Book your <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/tidycal.com\/bookemma\/initial-consultation%60%60%60%60%60\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">free 15 minute consultation here<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"about_emma\"><\/span>About Emma<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/about-me-emma-heptonstall\/\" data-abc=\"true\"><b>Emma Heptonstall,<\/b><\/a><\/span>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is the author of the Amazon best-selling book\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/How-Be-Lady-Who-Leaves\/dp\/1999631501\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" data-abc=\"true\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/b><\/span><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready, the online self-study programmes, and the newly released \u2018Should I be a Lady Who Leaves?\u2019. For More Information on Should I be a Lady Who Leaves?\u00a0<strong><a class=\"ProsemirrorEditor-link\" href=\"https:\/\/emmaheptonstall.com\/yes\">click here<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\">Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. Emma is also the host of\u00a0\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/gb\/podcast\/the-six-minute-divorce-podcast-with-emma-heptonstall\/id1547792197\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" data-abc=\"true\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>The Six Minute Divorce Podcast<\/b><\/span><\/a>. To find out more visit\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/\" data-abc=\"true\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/b><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_social_media_follow follow_button=&#8221;on&#8221; icon_color=&#8221;#064239&#8243; icon_color_tablet=&#8221;#064239&#8243; icon_color_phone=&#8221;#064239&#8243; icon_color_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;#FFFFFF&#8221; custom_button=&#8221;on&#8221; button_text_color=&#8221;#064239&#8243; button_bg_color=&#8221;#f9ecec&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; background_layout=&#8221;dark&#8221; global_module=&#8221;19816&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_social_media_follow_network social_network=&#8221;facebook&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/thedivorcealchemist&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;#C899A5&#8243; background_enable_color=&#8221;on&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; follow_button=&#8221;on&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221;]facebook[\/et_pb_social_media_follow_network][et_pb_social_media_follow_network social_network=&#8221;instagram&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/divorcealchemy&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;#ea2c59&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; follow_button=&#8221;on&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221;]instagram[\/et_pb_social_media_follow_network][et_pb_social_media_follow_network social_network=&#8221;linkedin&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/emmaheptonstall&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;#007bb6&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; follow_button=&#8221;on&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221;]linkedin[\/et_pb_social_media_follow_network][et_pb_social_media_follow_network social_network=&#8221;pinterest&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/www.pinterest.co.uk\/thedivorcealchemist\/&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;#cb2027&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; follow_button=&#8221;on&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221;]pinterest[\/et_pb_social_media_follow_network][\/et_pb_social_media_follow][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title ez-toc-toggle\" style=\"cursor:pointer\"> Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #064239;color:#064239\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #064239;color:#064239\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready\/#make_the_decision\" >Make the decision<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready\/#let_yourself_process\" >Let yourself process\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready\/#get_your_paperwork_organised\" >Get your paperwork organised<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready\/#create_your_vision\" >Create your vision<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready\/#plan_the_conversation\" >Plan the conversation<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready\/#work_with_me_to_have_a_good_divorce\" >Work with me to have a good divorce\u00a0<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready\/#about_emma\" >About Emma<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n &nbsp; \u00a0I\u2019m speaking to a lot of women who don\u2019t feel ready to divorce right now. They know their marriage is over, but they\u2019re staying because of financial uncertainty, or waiting until after their 16 year old finishes their GCSEs, or until life \u2018settles down\u2019. &#8216;Prepare for divorce&#8217;\u00a0 isn&#8217;t on their list of to-do&#8217;s [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":19859,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"<p>[ez-toc]<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I\u2019m speaking to a lot of women who don\u2019t feel ready to divorce right now. They know their marriage is over, but they\u2019re staying because of financial uncertainty, or waiting until after their 16 year old finishes their GCSEs, or until life \u2018settles down\u2019. Prepare for divorce isnt on their agenda right now.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If that\u2019s you, I want to let you in on a little secret. Smart divorce doesn\u2019t start with the big announcement. It doesn\u2019t start with you dealing with your spouse\u2019s reaction, or breaking the news to your children. It starts with a decision. And then some quiet action. All of which is available to you to start - today. Here are five ways to prepare for divorce so you\u2019re ready to go.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><h2><b>Make the decision<\/b><\/h2><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The very first thing you need to do is decide whether divorce is the right next step. Because, of course, if your marriage is unhealthy, there are other options open to you. You might consider individual or couples therapy. You might try sharing your worries about your marriage with your spouse, or confide in a trusted friend.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Chances are, though, if you\u2019re reading this blog, you\u2019ve already passed through these steps. It\u2019s time to decide for yourself - quietly, but firmly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><h2><b>Let yourself process<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In my book <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/4nCTTzv\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How To Be A Lady Who Leaves<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I share the very first thing to do when you\u2019ve decided to divorce.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nothing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do nothing. No big decisions about home or work. Don\u2019t even tell anyone. Simply let your decision land, with yourself first. There will be time to deal with everyone and everything else soon enough. The first thing you need to do is allow some grief, and start to accept that this is where you are. Believe me when I say that doing \u2018nothing\u2019 isn\u2019t nothing. It\u2019s a crucial, emotionally active, part of the process.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><h2><b>Get your paperwork organised<\/b><\/h2><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is plenty you can quietly organise if you don\u2019t feel ready or able to actually leave. Do you know where all your important documents are? Do you have access to your bank accounts, including any savings and investments? Do you have household assets such as paintings or jewellery that need valuing?<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You will need to know your numbers - your assets and liabilities - in detail when it comes to settling financial arrangements, so the more work you can do on this now, the better. And if there are any known unknowns, it will be easier to investigate them now.<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><h2><b>Create your vision<\/b><\/h2><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Divorce is an opportunity for a reset. You get to live life on your terms again.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What do you want your life to be like? What values are important to you, and how can you bring those to life? Think about:<\/span><\/p><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Family<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Home<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Friendships<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Work\/career<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Fun<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And consider what you want and need from all of these. For example, you might not care what your home is like, but you know you want to live in a particular location to be near your children\u2019s school. Or you might decide this is the time to move out of the city, and get a bigger garden. You might want or need to retrain, to secure more financially rewarding work, or work more aligned with career goals.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You won\u2019t be able to wave a magic wand and change things immediately, of course. But the only way to take steps towards the future you want is to create your vision first.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><h2><b>Plan the conversation<\/b><\/h2><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The time will come when you have to break the news. To your spouse, your children, your family and friends. By having a plan, you exert some control over how it goes. You get to choose the time, the place, and what you want to say - all of which play a big part in the response you get.<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Of course, this news is going to be upsetting. But if you think about:<\/span><\/p><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When and where - what is going to be safest and most emotionally holding for everyone involved?<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The words you use - try as far as possible to state your decision as facts and not get drawn into blame games<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your tone - speaking with clarity and conviction will land differently to aggression or apology<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your boundaries - yes you will need to provide some explanation, but you don\u2019t need to respond to every question if you don\u2019t feel able or don\u2019t want to. Considering this in advance will mean you\u2019re more emotionally prepared for what might come up.\u00a0<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p>And if you want to go deeper you can read more in this article\u00a0 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/divorce-101-the-10-things-you-need-to-get-divorce-ready\/\">Divorce 101: The 10 Things You Need To Get Divorce Ready<\/a><\/p><h3><b>Work with me to have a good divorce\u00a0<\/b><\/h3><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I provide divorce coaching at any stage of your divorce journey - and the very best time to work with me is right at the start. I can help you work through everything we\u2019ve covered on this blog, so you can enter the divorce proceedings feeling calm, in control and excited for your future.<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Curious to know how I can help? Book your <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/tidycal.com\/bookemma\/initial-consultation%60%60%60%60%60\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">free 15 minute consultation here<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p>","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,4],"tags":[2783,2785],"class_list":["post-19858","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce-support","category-thinking-about-a-divorce","tag-good-divorce","tag-preparing-for-divorce"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/20th-November-2025-5-ways-to-prepare-for-divorce-so-youre-ready-.png?fit=1000%2C516&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6aDhr-5ai","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19858","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19858"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19858\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19859"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19858"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19858"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19858"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}