{"id":4225,"date":"2018-09-09T22:29:09","date_gmt":"2018-09-09T21:29:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?p=4225"},"modified":"2023-05-17T17:05:23","modified_gmt":"2023-05-17T16:05:23","slug":"time-to-divorce-now-the-children-are-back-to-school","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/time-to-divorce-now-the-children-are-back-to-school\/","title":{"rendered":"Time to divorce now the children are back to school?"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Time to divorce now the children are back to school?<\/strong><\/h1>\n

Can you guess when most women start thinking of divorce? It\u2019s at two times of the year when things are \u2018returning to normal\u2019 after holidays…<\/p>\n

That\u2019s right. January and September. And September most of all \u2013 more people Google \u2018divorce\u2019 in September than any other time of the year.<\/p>\n

<\/span>Back to normal, back to reality?<\/span><\/h2>\n

September brings with it a change of season, a back to normal feeling, as schools open their doors again. Often with parents breathing a collective sigh of relief after the juggle of summer! It also brings in that opportunity for change and growth \u2013 to start evening classes, look to the future. And for some of us, that means facing the reality that our marriage is making us unhappy and looking at next steps.<\/p>\n

<\/span>Two paths of divorce<\/span><\/h2>\n

Usually, when people start considering divorce, they take one of two paths.<\/p>\n

Path one: they spend hours googling, and maybe chewing over divorce with close friends. But the thought of actually doing anything about it is scary, and nothing happens. Back to the same old, same old. Or path two: they go full steam ahead and hire a solicitor.<\/p>\n

Both of these paths can lead to misery. Why? Well, with Path one, it\u2019s obvious \u2013 nothing changes. If you\u2019re dissatisfied with your marriage and don\u2019t do anything about it, you\u2019re spending your life in a state of ongoing unhappiness. Don\u2019t get me wrong \u2013 \u2018doing something about it\u2019 doesn\u2019t have to mean divorce is inevitable. But, if, at the very least, if you can\u2019t find a way to raise concerns with your spouse, nothing is going to change.<\/p>\n

And Path two \u2013 what\u2019s wrong with that? Well, as I describe in my book How To Be a Lady Who Leaves<\/a>, before you decide to leave, you\u2019ve got to get clear on what it is you want to leave. You\u2019ve got understand why because otherwise you may simply end up taking all your problems and dissatisfaction with you.<\/p>\n

Reading the book is a good start to taking control of your thinking around divorce. It shares the questions you need to ask yourself, what information you need to gather, when and if to instruct a solicitor (and it\u2019s much<\/em> later than you might think \u2013 as you can read about in this blogpost: 5 questions you DON\u2019T need to ask your solicitor<\/a>.<\/p>\n

<\/span>The #separationseptember state of mind<\/span><\/h2>\n

But actually making it happen can feel overwhelming. If you\u2019ve got that #separationseptember state of mind then you most likely want to:<\/p>\n