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If you\u2019re married to someone with narcissistic or other high conflict personality traits navigating separation and divorce can feel even more overwhelming. <\/span><\/p>\n But it\u2019s important to remember that with the right strategies in place, it is possible to divorce on your terms and there is light at the end of the tunnel. The two most important factors are awareness<\/i> and planning<\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n Let\u2019s tackle awareness first. Diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder is difficult, as sufferers are unlikely to recognise it themselves. In the UK, current estimates are that less than 1% of the population have the disorder. But that doesn\u2019t mean narcissistic traits are that rare \u2013 not all high conflict personalities have a diagnosed disorder. People with narcissistic characteristics tend to display behaviours such as:<\/span><\/p>\n These patterns of behaviour mean typical low-conflict, collaborative approaches to divorce are not going to be successful. You need a different strategy. <\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s important to know exactly where you stand, legally and financially, without relying on your partner for information. Here\u2019s how to get clear so you can divorce with as little drama as possible:<\/span><\/p>\n Knowing what your assets and liabilities, both jointly and individually is essential to being able to navigate the practical sides of life during and after divorce, especially as you can\u2019t depend on your soon-to-be-ex to \u2018play fair\u2019. You can read more about getting financially prepared for divorce in this blogpost<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n All practicing lawyers will be qualified to offer you legal advice (recommendations on how to proceed within the jurisdiction of the UK legal system) but they certainly won\u2019t all be trained in dealing with high conflict personalities. Many firms offer a free initial consultation \u2013 make sure you explain your circumstances and ask the solicitor to share any knowledge or experience they have of representing someone who is divorcing a narcissist or other high conflict personality type. Shop around if you need to. <\/span><\/p>\n And remember, divorce lawyers are primarily concerned with the legal process, not your emotional wellbeing. Seek other support through a therapist or coach to help you with decision-making and gaining clarity on your own wants and needs. <\/span><\/p>\n As narcissists have no regard for other people\u2019s feelings, you might feel like the ground is shifting all the time. Your soon-to-be-ex may contact you all hours of the day, or at the other extreme, drop contact without any notice. Be clear on what you need and expect, and get legal support in establishing boundaries if required. Don\u2019t get drawn into any tit-for-tat behaviour as this will just escalate the drama.<\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s not fair that some people get to have a relatively straightforward divorce, and yours feels like a nightmare. I get it. But it is the situation you\u2019re in, and you need to look it in the eye. Your ex is not going to change. <\/span><\/p>\n Don\u2019t be afraid to ask for help \u2013 let your friends and family support you practically and emotionally as much as they can. And get support from professionals to help you navigate your way through this hugely testing time. I am the only high conflict divorce specialist in the UK and I want to help as many women as possible. I\u2019m creating tailored support just for you at the moment. To be the first to hear about it, sign up here. <\/span><\/p>\n message Emma<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n Emma Heptonstall,<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/strong><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a practising family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" If you\u2019re married to someone with narcissistic or other high conflict personality traits navigating separation and divorce can feel even more overwhelming. <\/span><\/p> But it\u2019s important to remember that with the right strategies in place, it is possible to divorce on your terms and there is light at the end of the tunnel. The two most important factors are awareness<\/i> and planning<\/i>.<\/span><\/p> Let\u2019s tackle awareness first. Diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder is difficult, as sufferers are unlikely to recognise it themselves. In the UK, current estimates are that less than 1% of the population have the disorder. But that doesn\u2019t mean narcissistic traits are that rare \u2013 not all high conflict personalities have a diagnosed disorder. People with narcissistic characteristics tend to display behaviours such as:<\/span><\/p> These patterns of behaviour mean typical low-conflict, collaborative approaches to divorce are not going to be successful. You need a different strategy. <\/span><\/p> It\u2019s important to know exactly where you stand, legally and financially, without relying on your partner for information. Here\u2019s how to get clear so you can divorce with as little drama as possible:<\/span><\/p><\/span>Are you married to a narcissist? <\/b><\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
\n
<\/span>Making a plan<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>1. Understand your finances<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n
<\/span>2. Get the right support<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n
<\/span>3. Set and maintain boundaries<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n
<\/span>4. Accept your reality<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n
<\/span>The Divorce Alchemist<\/span><\/h2>\n
How to divorce a narcissist or other high conflict personality<\/b><\/span><\/h1>
Are you married to a narcissist? <\/b><\/span><\/h2>
Making a plan<\/b><\/span><\/h2>
1. Understand your finances<\/b><\/span><\/h3>