{"id":4322,"date":"2018-12-10T07:00:11","date_gmt":"2018-12-10T07:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?p=4322"},"modified":"2025-11-18T12:46:30","modified_gmt":"2025-11-18T12:46:30","slug":"two-reasons-why-you-find-it-difficult-to-leave-an-abusive-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/two-reasons-why-you-find-it-difficult-to-leave-an-abusive-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Two reasons why you find it difficult to leave an abusive Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_code _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/17489330\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/c5b2b1\/\" height=\"90\" width=\"100%\" scrolling=\"no\"  allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen><\/iframe>[\/et_pb_code][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; text_font_size=&#8221;16px&#8221; header_text_color=&#8221;#c5b2b1&#8243; header_2_text_align=&#8221;justify&#8221; header_2_text_color=&#8221;#c984a4&#8243; header_3_text_align=&#8221;justify&#8221; header_3_text_color=&#8221;#c5b2b1&#8243; text_orientation=&#8221;justified&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h1 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Two reasons why you find it difficult to leave an abusive Marriage<\/span><\/h1>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Last time on the blog we looked at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/co-dependency-and-divorce\/\"><span class=\"s2\">co-dependency<\/span><\/a> \u2013 a toxic relationship pattern in which one partner\u2019s needs are completely neglected in favour of the other. We can often be in these patterns without realising it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">This time we\u2019re looking at <em>two reasons why you find it difficult to leave an abusive marriage<\/em>: trauma bonding and gas-lighting. The dangerous thing about these behaviours is how hard they are to spot when you\u2019re in the middle of them. Which makes it so important to gain awareness and build a trusted support network of friends and professionals around you. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Let\u2019s take each of them in turn. <\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"trauma_bonding\"><\/span><span class=\"s1\">Trauma Bonding<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">When we think of bonding, it is usually a positive process \u2013 people become attached to each other because of shared experiences and feelings. With trauma bonding, the reason for the bond comes from difficult or abusive experiences, such as verbal or physical violence, neglect or shaming behaviours. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">But why stay? Often abusers (your husband) are inconsistent in their actions \u2013 as well as being abusive they shower you with love and affection and promise that they will change. At the beginning of the relationship or after you have begun to pull away, they will &#8216;love bomb&#8217; you, telling you that you are the one person who can help them. They will appear to be vulnerable, sharing their stories of an unhappy or abusive childhood so you feel pity for them and forgive.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"getting_hooked\"><\/span>Getting hooked<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Once you are hooked, they may socially isolate you, so their behaviour becomes normalised with no-one outside the bubble to sense-check it. You build your world around him as a rescuer and it\u00a0<em>feels\u00a0<\/em>good &#8211; you and him against the world &#8211; perfect soul mates.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">When you&#8217;re hooked, you become more dependent on your husband for his attention and support. You want to get closer despite the poor treatment. This in turn lowers your self-esteem and increases your social isolation further, so they are increasingly trapped. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Signs you are in a trauma bond include:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Your soon-to-be-ex-husband behaves badly but promises to change his ways<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">You keep trying to please or appease him but get nothing in return<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">\u00a0You feel addicted to him and pour emotional energy into wanting them to change<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Trusting your emotions is difficult and you may doubt\u00a0 your capability to live independently<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"gas-lighting\"><\/span><span class=\"s1\">Gas-lighting<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Gas-lighting is a way for your soon-to-be-ex-husband to exercise power and make you doubt your own sanity. It usually has a \u2018drip, drip, drip\u2019 effect over time, so you gradually find yourself isolated and undermined. <\/span><span class=\"s1\">Gas-lighting is not the same as having a different opinion to someone else. Differences of opinion are natural and happen in any healthy or unhealthy relationship \u2013 they make life interesting! I&#8217;m talking here about a systematic technique to breakdown someone\u2019s self-belief and stability, so you are confused and disoriented. <\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"so_how_do_you_know_if_gas-lighting_is_happening\"><\/span><span class=\"s1\">So, how do you know if gas-lighting is happening?<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Your soon-to-be-ex-husband contradicts you, even when you have evidence to support your point<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">He tells blatant lies<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Your soon-to-be-ex-husband says something, then denies he&#8217;s said it<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">He says and does different things<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">He projects \u2013 accusing you of lying when he is doing it himself<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">You notice your soon-to-be-ex-husband trying to turn others against you \u2013 by lying, undermining you or telling people you have lied.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"accepting_that_youre_in_this_situation\"><\/span>Accepting that you&#8217;re in this situation<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Accepting that you&#8217;re in this situation is the first step to changing the pattern. Think back. Right back to the beginning of your relationship. How did it\u00a0<em>feel.<\/em> Were you swept off your feet? Was it a whirlwind romance? How long did that last? When did you first see his &#8216;other side&#8217;? How did he justify it and how did that make you\u00a0<em>feel<\/em>? If this is a light bulb moment for you, don&#8217;t panic. Know that you&#8217;re not alone. There are literally thousands of women just like you, the world over.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"what_can_you_do_if_this_has_happened_to_you\"><\/span><span class=\"s1\">What can you do if this has happened to you?<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<h3 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"be_kind_to_yourself\"><\/span><span class=\"s1\">Be kind to yourself<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">This hasn\u2019t happened because you are weak or stupid. It\u2019s because someone manipulative has sought an opportunity to gain power over you. Don\u2019t beat yourself up, instead congratulate yourself on your new awareness. Show yourself small acts of kindness every day, don\u2019t rely on your abuser to look after you. This is a huge step towards freeing yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"get_support\"><\/span><span class=\"s1\">Get support<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Chances are your soon-to-be-ex-husband has done everything he can to isolate you from friends and family. Reach out and bring loved ones back in your life. Also seek specialist support from therapists, counsellors or coaches to help you navigate your situation and re-build your relationship with yourself. I have linked to the Women\u2019s Aid website at the end of this article. <\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"stick_to_your_truth\"><\/span><span class=\"s1\">Stick to your truth<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">You\u2019re never going to convince an abuser that they are wrong, and worse, that they are being abusive. It\u2019s just not going to happen. But you can take back control for yourself. Gas-lighting and trauma bonding works because you have given someone else power over you. You might not be in a position to confront or challenge on your own, but you can remind yourself that you know the facts and you\u2019re not crazy. Start building trust in yourself again. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">These are just <em>two reasons why you find it difficult to leave an abusive marriage\u00a0<\/em> &#8211; there are of course many more\u00a0If you are in an abusive relationship, confidential help is available via <a href=\"https:\/\/www.womensaid.org.uk\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span class=\"s2\">Women\u2019s Aid.<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I am developing specialist support for women leaving high conflict spouses, which will be available in 2019. I am the only Divorce Coach trained in high conflict relationships in the UK. Contact me to be the first to hear about it. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/book-a-call\/\"><span style=\"color: #c5b2b1;\">Book a call<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"the_divorce_alchemist\"><\/span>The Divorce Alchemist<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/about-me-emma-heptonstall\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong>Emma Heptonstall,<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/How-Be-Lady-Who-Leaves\/dp\/1999631501\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong>How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/strong><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a practising family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong>www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Two reasons why you find it difficult to leave an abusive Marriage Last time on the blog we looked at co-dependency \u2013 a toxic relationship pattern in which one partner\u2019s needs are completely neglected in favour of the other. We can often be in these patterns without realising it.\u00a0 This time we\u2019re looking at two [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4324,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"<h1 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Two reasons why you find it difficult to leave an abusive Marriage<\/span><\/h1><p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Last time on the blog we looked at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/co-dependency-and-divorce\/\"><span class=\"s2\">co-dependency<\/span><\/a> \u2013 a toxic relationship pattern in which one partner\u2019s needs are completely neglected in favour of the other. We can often be in these patterns without realising it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">This time we\u2019re looking at <em>two reasons why you find it difficult to leave an abusive marriage<\/em>: trauma bonding and gas-lighting. The dangerous thing about these behaviours is how hard they are to spot when you\u2019re in the middle of them. Which makes it so important to gain awareness and build a trusted support network of friends and professionals around you. <\/span><\/p><p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Let\u2019s take each of them in turn. <\/span><\/p><h2 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Trauma Bonding<\/span><\/h2><p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">When we think of bonding, it is usually a positive process \u2013 people become attached to each other because of shared experiences and feelings. With trauma bonding, the reason for the bond comes from difficult or abusive experiences, such as verbal or physical violence, neglect or shaming behaviours. <\/span><\/p><p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">But why stay? Often abusers (your husband) are inconsistent in their actions \u2013 as well as being abusive they shower you with love and affection and promise that they will change. At the beginning of the relationship or after you have begun to pull away, they will 'love bomb' you, telling you that you are the one person who can help them. They will appear to be vulnerable, sharing their stories of an unhappy or abusive childhood so you feel pity for them and forgive.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><h2>Getting hooked<\/h2><p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Once you are hooked, they may socially isolate you, so their behaviour becomes normalised with no-one outside the bubble to sense-check it. You build your world around him as a rescuer and it\u00a0<em>feels\u00a0<\/em>good - you and him against the world - perfect soul mates.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">When you're hooked, you become more dependent on your husband for his attention and support. You want to get closer despite the poor treatment. This in turn lowers your self-esteem and increases your social isolation further, so they are increasingly trapped. <\/span><\/p><p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Signs you are in a trauma bond include:<\/span><\/p><ul class=\"ul1\"><li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Your soon-to-be-ex-husband behaves badly but promises to change his ways<\/span><\/li><li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">You keep trying to please or appease him but get nothing in return<\/span><\/li><li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">\u00a0You feel addicted to him and pour emotional energy into wanting them to change<\/span><\/li><li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Trusting your emotions is difficult and you may doubt\u00a0 your capability to live independently<\/span><\/li><\/ul><h2 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Gas-lighting<\/span><\/h2><p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Gas-lighting is a way for your soon-to-be-ex-husband to exercise power and make you doubt your own sanity. It usually has a \u2018drip, drip, drip\u2019 effect over time, so you gradually find yourself isolated and undermined. <\/span><span class=\"s1\">Gas-lighting is not the same as having a different opinion to someone else. Differences of opinion are natural and happen in any healthy or unhealthy relationship \u2013 they make life interesting! I'm talking here about a systematic technique to breakdown someone\u2019s self-belief and stability, so you are confused and disoriented. <\/span><\/p><h2 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">So, how do you know if gas-lighting is happening?<\/span><\/h2><ul class=\"ul1\"><li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Your soon-to-be-ex-husband contradicts you, even when you have evidence to support your point<\/span><\/li><li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">He tells blatant lies<\/span><\/li><li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Your soon-to-be-ex-husband says something, then denies he's said it<\/span><\/li><li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">He says and does different things<\/span><\/li><li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">He projects \u2013 accusing you of lying when he is doing it himself<\/span><\/li><li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">You notice your soon-to-be-ex-husband trying to turn others against you \u2013 by lying, undermining you or telling people you have lied.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p>\u00a0<\/p><h2>Accepting that you're in this situation<\/h2><p>Accepting that you're in this situation is the first step to changing the pattern. Think back. Right back to the beginning of your relationship. How did it\u00a0<em>feel.<\/em> Were you swept off your feet? Was it a whirlwind romance? How long did that last? When did you first see his 'other side'? How did he justify it and how did that make you\u00a0<em>feel<\/em>? If this is a light bulb moment for you, don't panic. Know that you're not alone. There are literally thousands of women just like you, the world over.<\/p><h2 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">What can you do if this has happened to you?<\/span><\/h2><h3 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Be kind to yourself<\/span><\/h3><p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">This hasn\u2019t happened because you are weak or stupid. It\u2019s because someone manipulative has sought an opportunity to gain power over you. Don\u2019t beat yourself up, instead congratulate yourself on your new awareness. Show yourself small acts of kindness every day, don\u2019t rely on your abuser to look after you. This is a huge step towards freeing yourself.<\/span><\/p><h3 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Get support<\/span><\/h3><p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Chances are your soon-to-be-ex-husband has done everything he can to isolate you from friends and family. Reach out and bring loved ones back in your life. Also seek specialist support from therapists, counsellors or coaches to help you navigate your situation and re-build your relationship with yourself. I have linked to the Women\u2019s Aid website at the end of this article. <\/span><\/p><h3 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Stick to your truth<\/span><\/h3><p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">You\u2019re never going to convince an abuser that they are wrong, and worse, that they are being abusive. It\u2019s just not going to happen. But you can take back control for yourself. Gas-lighting and trauma bonding works because you have given someone else power over you. You might not be in a position to confront or challenge on your own, but you can remind yourself that you know the facts and you\u2019re not crazy. Start building trust in yourself again. <\/span><\/p><p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">These are just <em>two reasons why you find it difficult to leave an abusive marriage\u00a0<\/em> - there are of course many more\u00a0If you are in an abusive relationship, confidential help is available via <a href=\"https:\/\/www.womensaid.org.uk\"><span class=\"s2\">Women\u2019s Aid.<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p><p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I am developing specialist support for women leaving high conflict spouses, which will be available in 2019. I am the only Divorce Coach trained in high conflict relationships in the UK. Contact me to be the first to hear about it. <\/span><\/p><p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #c5b2b1;\"><a style=\"color: #c5b2b1;\" href=\"https:\/\/emmaheptonstall.activehosted.com\/f\/18\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Message Emma<\/a><\/span><\/p><h2>The Divorce Alchemist<\/h2><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/about-me-emma-heptonstall\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>Emma Heptonstall,<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/How-Be-Lady-Who-Leaves\/dp\/1999631501\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/strong><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a practising family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[582,1,301],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4322","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-high-conflict-divorce","category-i-want-to-leave-my-husband","category-podcast"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/EH_BlogImage-19.png?fit=1000%2C516&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6aDhr-17I","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4322","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4322"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4322\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4324"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4322"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4322"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4322"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}