[et_pb_section bb_built=”1″][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.18.2″ text_font_size=”16px” text_orientation=”justified” header_text_color=”#c5b2b1″ header_2_text_align=”justify” header_2_text_color=”#c984a4″]<\/p>\n
Divorce and co-parenting or parallel parenting is never easy. Christmas can be a particularly hard time \u2013 emotionally and practically.\u00a0\u00a0How to navigate Christmas as a separated parent<\/em>\u00a0 will help. There’s a lot of pressure to create \u2018the perfect Christmas\u2019 for children, which raises the stakes. Throw in debates about who will be where and when, whether new partners are involved, how much money is being spent and who\u2019s getting which presents and you have the recipe for a festive storm. The first thing to remember is there\u2019s no blueprint for a perfect Christmas \u2013 whatever your circumstances: separated family, single, without children, happily married with a brood of five. Christmas, for all of us, is what we make it.\u00a0 Here\u2019s how to lower the tension and treat yourself kindly this Christmas season. You might also find 5 Steps for Surviving Christmas as a Divorced Woman <\/em><\/a>useful:<\/p>\n Accept that things will be different this year. Perhaps in the past you always followed certain traditions that aren\u2019t possible now. Allow yourself time to grieve for those times, but return to the present. Different doesn\u2019t have to mean worse, it just means different. And, with reassurance and stability from the loved ones around them, children are often more resilient than we think. If you are finding it hard, don\u2019t bottle it up. Let friends and family in, and talk to a counsellor or therapist if you need to. Christmas is an emotional time in lots of ways, and it\u2019s important to acknowledge how you feel.<\/p>\n What can you do differently this Christmas that makes it your own? Perhaps a change in the festive routine is long overdue, or perhaps it\u2019s something you\u2019re coping with reluctantly. Either way, it\u2019s an opportunity to create new traditions. Think about what\u2019s important about Christmas to you \u2013 what does it represent? Is it a time to:<\/p>\n It can be tempting to compensate for being separated by showering your children with festive treats, outings and lavish presents. Don\u2019t get drawn into a competition with your ex. It\u2019s more important to your children that you are relaxed and happy with them rather than stressed about having too little money or time to do everything. Don\u2019t worry about creating the perfect Pinterest Christmas, your sanity and wellbeing are far more important \u2013 to your children as well as you.<\/p>\n Planning ahead can avoid a lot of stress and arguments, and it also means you can make other plans around the festive season to see extended family and\u00a0 make the most of your time. Get ahead of the game for next year so everyone can feel prepared. There\u2019s no perfect answer for dividing time fairly between separated parents, but there are a number of models other families use, which might help your discussion. Remember to have your children at the forefront of your minds as you plan \u2013 think about what will be most happy and peaceful for them. If negotiating is difficult, mediation<\/em><\/a> is a good first port of call, and the courts can also step in if necessary:<\/p>\n Whatever your Christmas plans this year, I hope you do something that brings you happiness. And if you want to talk through your situation so you can get on track, message me. Let’s chat.<\/p>\n Message Emma<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Emma Heptonstall,<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/strong><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a practising family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self study and group programmes. Emma is featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Divorce and co-parenting or parallel parenting is never easy. Christmas can be a particularly hard time \u2013 emotionally and practically.\u00a0\u00a0How to navigate Christmas as a separated parent<\/em>\u00a0 will help. There's a lot of pressure to create \u2018the perfect Christmas\u2019 for children, which raises the stakes.<\/p> Throw in debates about who will be where and when, whether new partners are involved, how much money is being spent and who\u2019s getting which presents and you have the recipe for a festive storm.<\/p> The first thing to remember is there\u2019s no blueprint for a perfect Christmas \u2013 whatever your circumstances: separated family, single, without children, happily married with a brood of five.<\/p> Christmas, for all of us, is what we make it.\u00a0 Here\u2019s how to lower the tension and treat yourself kindly this Christmas season. You might also find 5 Steps for Surviving Christmas as a Divorced Woman <\/em><\/a>useful:<\/p> Accept that things will be different this year. Perhaps in the past you always followed certain traditions that aren\u2019t possible now. Allow yourself time to grieve for those times, but return to the present. Different doesn\u2019t have to mean worse, it just means different. And, with reassurance and stability from the loved ones around them, children are often more resilient than we think.<\/p> If you are finding it hard, don\u2019t bottle it up. Let friends and family in, and talk to a counsellor or therapist if you need to. Christmas is an emotional time in lots of ways, and it\u2019s important to acknowledge how you feel.<\/p> What can you do differently this Christmas that makes it your own? Perhaps a change in the festive routine is long overdue, or perhaps it\u2019s something you\u2019re coping with reluctantly. Either way, it\u2019s an opportunity to create new traditions. Think about what\u2019s important about Christmas to you \u2013 what does it represent? Is it a time to:<\/p> It can be tempting to compensate for being separated by showering your children with festive treats, outings and lavish presents. Don\u2019t get drawn into a competition with your ex. It\u2019s more important to your children that you are relaxed and happy with them rather than stressed about having too little money or time to do everything. Don\u2019t worry about creating the perfect Pinterest Christmas, your sanity and wellbeing are far more important \u2013 to your children as well as you.<\/p> Planning ahead can avoid a lot of stress and arguments, and it also means you can make other plans around the festive season to see extended family and\u00a0 make the most of your time.<\/p> Get ahead of the game for next year so everyone can feel prepared. There\u2019s no perfect answer for dividing time fairly between separated parents, but there are a number of models other families use, which might help your discussion. Remember to have your children at the forefront of your minds as you plan \u2013 think about what will be most happy and peaceful for them. If negotiating is difficult, mediation is a good first port of call, and the courts can also step in if necessary:<\/p> Whatever your Christmas plans this year, I hope you do something that brings you happiness. And if you want to talk through your situation so you can get on track, message me. Let's chat.<\/p> Message Emma<\/strong><\/a><\/p> Emma Heptonstall,<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/strong><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a practising family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self study and group programmes. Emma is featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4325","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-children-and-divorce","category-christmas"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/EH_BlogImage-3.png?fit=1000%2C516&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6aDhr-17L","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4325"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4325\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4326"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/span>A Different Christmas<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Embrace Change<\/span><\/h2>\n
\n
<\/span>Don\u2019t compete<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Planning Early for Christmas 2019<\/span><\/h2>\n
\n
<\/span>The Divorce Alchemist<\/span><\/h2>\n
How to navigate Christmas as a separated parent<\/h1>
A Different Christmas<\/h2>
Embrace Change<\/h2>
Don\u2019t compete<\/h2>
Planning Early for Christmas 2019<\/h2>
The Divorce Alchemist<\/h2>