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Are you in limbo? <\/span><\/p>\n You\u2019re not happy with your life and your marriage but you don\u2019t know whether divorce is the answer. Is this you? How do you decide to divorce? <\/em>is a question that many women ask.<\/span><\/p>\n You\u2019re not alone. On average, marriages last around 12 years before divorce \u2013 many much longer. My own research revealed that divorce is on women\u2019s minds for an average of five years before they take action. That\u2019s a lot of people living with unhappiness for a long time. <\/span><\/p>\n But it makes sense to look before you leap. Divorce is a big deal, emotionally, practically and financially. <\/span><\/p>\n This blog is here to help you work out if divorce is the right decision for you now, and what to do in those early stages. <\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s a mistake to trigger divorce on the back of a single argument or bad mood. If you\u2019ve had a row with your spouse and want to consider your options \u2013 do that. Sit with it for a while. Open communication channels. But don\u2019t jump into divorce just yet. <\/span><\/p>\n There are usually* four preconditions that suggest you\u2019re ready for divorce:<\/span><\/p>\n *note the situation is different if you\u2019re in a high conflict relationship. In that case, the same rules don\u2019t apply and you need to focus on keeping yourself safe and establishing boundaries, not inviting open conversation. See my blog \u2018Am I in a high conflict divorce?<\/span><\/a>\u2019 for more.<\/span><\/p>\n If you are at the \u2018is this worth exploring\u2019 stage, I go into more depth here<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n A big decision like divorce calls for the right headspace. It\u2019s not something to be taken lightly. It\u2019s a decision to be made calmly, not in panic or fury. Which is hard when you\u2019re dealing with swirling emotions, I know. <\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s hard when:<\/span><\/p>\n Give yourself time. Give yourself space. It is ok to do nothing right now. It\u2019s ok to sit with it for a while. Use a journal, talk to a friend (or me!), think about your values and priorities.\u00a0 <\/span>Let your emotions settle. If you\u2019d like some guidance finding in calm and clarity so you make a decision you can trust, my guide \u2018Seven Simple Steps’<\/span><\/a> can help you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n If you think divorce is right for you, the next step is to get tooled up. <\/span><\/p>\n The next step definitely ISN\u2019T to call round the divorce lawyers \u2013 and here\u2019s why<\/span><\/a>! Read the blog and save thousands! <\/span><\/p>\n Here are some things you can do instead:<\/span><\/p>\n So you\u2019ve thought about it, you\u2019re able to look reality in the eye and you\u2019re ready to face a future independent from your soon-to-be-ex. <\/span><\/p>\n Here\u2019s a checklist to help you know for sure you\u2019re doing the right thing:<\/span><\/p>\n If that looks and sounds like you, watch out for my podcast<\/span>, launching later this Spring, where you\u2019ll find practical tips on divorce that place you firmly in the driving seat. <\/span><\/p>\n This is your time. No shame, no guilt, just confident action leading to a brighter future. You\u2019re not on your own.<\/span><\/p>\n Emma Heptonstall,<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/strong><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a practising family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self study and group programmes. Emma is featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" How do you decide to divorce? Are you in limbo? You\u2019re not happy with your life and your marriage but you don\u2019t know whether divorce is the answer. Is this you? How do you decide to divorce? is a question that many women ask. You\u2019re not alone. On average, marriages last around 12 years before […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4414,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":" Are you in limbo? <\/span><\/p> You\u2019re not happy with your life and your marriage but you don\u2019t know whether divorce is the answer. Is this you? How do you decide to divorce? <\/em>is a question that many women ask.<\/span><\/p> You\u2019re not alone. On average, marriages last around 12 years before divorce \u2013 many much longer. My own research revealed that divorce is on women\u2019s minds for an average of five years before they take action. That\u2019s a lot of people living with unhappiness for a long time. <\/span><\/p> But it makes sense to look before you leap. Divorce is a big deal, emotionally, practically and financially. <\/span><\/p> This blog is here to help you work out if divorce is the right decision for you now, and what to do in those early stages. <\/span><\/p> It\u2019s a mistake to trigger divorce on the back of a single argument or bad mood. If you\u2019ve had a row with your spouse and want to consider your options \u2013 do that. Sit with it for a while. Open communication channels. But don\u2019t jump into divorce just yet. <\/span><\/p> There are usually* four preconditions that suggest you\u2019re ready for divorce:<\/span><\/p> *note the situation is different if you\u2019re in a high conflict relationship. In that case, the same rules don\u2019t apply and you need to focus on keeping yourself safe and establishing boundaries, not inviting open conversation. See my blog \u2018Am I in a high conflict divorce?<\/span><\/a>\u2019 for more.<\/span><\/p> If you are at the \u2018is this worth exploring\u2019 stage, I go into more depth here<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p> A big decision like divorce calls for the right headspace. It\u2019s not something to be taken lightly. It\u2019s a decision to be made calmly, not in panic or fury. Which is hard when you\u2019re dealing with swirling emotions, I know. <\/span><\/p> It\u2019s hard when:<\/span><\/p> Give yourself time. Give yourself space. It is ok to do nothing right now. It\u2019s ok to sit with it for a while. Use a journal, talk to a friend (or me!), think about your values and priorities.\u00a0 <\/span>Let your emotions settle. If you\u2019d like some guidance finding in calm and clarity so you make a decision you can trust, my guide \u2018Seven Simple Steps'<\/span><\/a> can help you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> If you think divorce is right for you, the next step is to get tooled up. <\/span><\/p> The next step definitely ISN\u2019T to call round the divorce lawyers \u2013 and here\u2019s why<\/span><\/a>! Read the blog and save thousands! <\/span><\/p> Here are some things you can do instead:<\/span><\/p> So you\u2019ve thought about it, you\u2019re able to look reality in the eye and you\u2019re ready to face a future independent from your soon-to-be-ex. <\/span><\/p> Here\u2019s a checklist to help you know for sure you\u2019re doing the right thing:<\/span><\/p><\/span>Know you\u2019re ready<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
\n
<\/span>Make the right emotional decision<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
\n
<\/span>Equip yourself on divorce basics<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
\n
<\/span>Is divorce the right step for you now? <\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
\n
<\/span>The Divorce Alchemist<\/span><\/h2>\n
How do you decide to divorce? <\/span><\/h1>
Know you\u2019re ready<\/span><\/h2>
Make the right emotional decision<\/span><\/h2>
Equip yourself on divorce basics<\/span><\/h2>
Is divorce the right step for you now? <\/span><\/h2>