[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font_size=”16px” header_text_align=”justify” header_text_color=”#c5b2b1″ header_2_text_align=”justify” header_2_text_color=”#c984a4″ text_orientation=”justified” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
Last time on the blog we looked at how you decide to divorce<\/em><\/a> \u2013 it\u2019s a big decision, not taken lightly. This time we\u2019re looking forward. The decision to divorce is just the start \u2013 the next step is to look at what the future holds, and what routes you\u2019ll take to get there. In Decided to Divorce? Explore Your Options\u00a0<\/em>we take a look at how it might be for you. Most people view divorce as a legal process. Which of course it is, but there\u2019s much more to it than that. Divorce is up there at number two on the list of most stressful life events, according to the Holmes and Rahe Scale<\/a><\/em> used by medics across the world. Divorce affects every aspect of your life and it\u2019s best to be prepared for that.<\/p>\n Even thinking about divorce will bring a whole spectrum of emotions. Some might be positive \u2013 the thought of separation from your soon-to-be-ex-husband might feel exciting and liberating. But for many women, there\u2019s a lot of negativity and self-blame that goes with it too. If you\u2019ve had thoughts like\u2026 \u201cI\u2019m such a failure because my marriage didn\u2019t work out.\u201d<\/em> \u201cI feel so guilty and I\u2019ll ruin my children\u2019s life\u201d<\/em> \u201cI can\u2019t handle the stress of the divorce process, I\u2019m too overwhelmed.\u201d<\/em> \u2026believe me you are not alone. Far from it. These are common worries. They make you human. It\u2019s important to look after yourself. It\u2019s important not to let your thoughts and feelings spiral. If you\u2019re feeling low, panicked or defeated, here are some self-care strategies to use:<\/p>\n Once you\u2019ve opened the divorce can of worms, it can be tempting to move quickly. I get it \u2013 you\u2019ve made the decision, now you want it done and dusted as quickly as possible. But that\u2019s not always the wise way to go. Divorce will involve upheaval in all areas of your life. Where will you live? What does your money situation look like? How will you parent, if children are involved? How does it affect your work life? Before rushing into anything, let the dust settle. Take time to think through your options. Aim for open and honest communication with your soon-to-be-ex. Good communication is the key to good relationships. It\u2019s also key to a low-conflict divorce.<\/p>\n It is so tough working everything out on your own. Friends are great for moral support, but not always your best port of call for balance and clarity! There are a number of places you can turn to as you decide how to take your next steps:<\/p>\n Relationship counselling can be helpful to strengthen a rocky relationship. It\u2019s also there for people who want a calm and positive end to their relationship. A relationship counsellor will provide a space for you and your soon-to-be-ex-husband to come to decisions, communicate effectively and solve problems. You can have joint or individual sessions, or a combination of both.<\/p>\n Divorce is hard, there\u2019s no getting around that. It can also be positive. But for some, divorce triggers overwhelming feelings. It can be very helpful to speak with a therapist about your fears, thoughts and behaviours. A therapist will provide a safe place for you to offload, examine any patterns in your life and begin to plan a way forward. You don\u2019t need to be at crisis point to try therapy \u2013 in fact it can help you avoid getting to that point!<\/p>\n Divorce throws up all sorts of feelings about your self, your identity and your worth, as well as how to best handle the whole divorce process. A divorce coach (like me!) is equipped to help you deal with both sets of questions. An experienced coach is there to help you make a plan for your future that is in line with your values and goals. A coach will also help you tackle self-sabotaging behaviours that prevent you from reaching your goals. And a divorce coach will help you find your way through the trees, at every step helping you make the decision that are right for you. If you want help as you explore your options, contact me to book a free initial call. You don\u2019t have to do this alone.<\/p>\n Contact\u00a0 Emma<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n Emma Heptonstall,<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/strong><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a practising family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self study and group programmes. Emma is featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Decided to Divorce? Explore Your OptionsLast time on the blog we looked at how you decide to divorce \u2013 it\u2019s a big decision, not taken lightly. This time we\u2019re looking forward. The decision to divorce is just the start \u2013 the next step is to look at what the future holds, and what routes you\u2019ll […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4425,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":" Last time on the blog we looked at how you decide to divorce<\/em><\/a> \u2013 it\u2019s a big decision, not taken lightly. This time we\u2019re looking forward. The decision to divorce is just the start \u2013 the next step is to look at what the future holds, and what routes you\u2019ll take to get there. In Decided to Divorce? Explore Your Options\u00a0<\/em>we take a look at how it might be for you.<\/p> Most people view divorce as a legal process. Which of course it is, but there\u2019s much more to it than that. Divorce is up there at number two on the list of most stressful life events, according to the Holmes and Rahe Scale<\/a><\/em> used by medics across the world. Divorce affects every aspect of your life and it\u2019s best to be prepared for that.<\/p> Even thinking about divorce will bring a whole spectrum of emotions. Some might be positive \u2013 the thought of separation from your soon-to-be-ex-husband might feel exciting and liberating. But for many women, there\u2019s a lot of negativity and self-blame that goes with it too.<\/p> If you\u2019ve had thoughts like\u2026<\/p> \u201cI\u2019m such a failure because my marriage didn\u2019t work out.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cI feel so guilty and I\u2019ll ruin my children\u2019s life\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u201cI can\u2019t handle the stress of the divorce process, I\u2019m too overwhelmed.\u201d<\/em><\/p> \u2026believe me you are not alone.<\/p> Far from it. These are common worries. They make you human.<\/p> It\u2019s important to look after yourself. It\u2019s important not to let your thoughts and feelings spiral. If you\u2019re feeling low, panicked or defeated, here are some self-care strategies to use:<\/p> Once you\u2019ve opened the divorce can of worms, it can be tempting to move quickly. I get it \u2013 you\u2019ve made the decision, now you want it done and dusted as quickly as possible. But that\u2019s not always the wise way to go. Divorce will involve upheaval in all areas of your life.<\/p> Where will you live?<\/p> What does your money situation look like?<\/p> How will you parent, if children are involved?<\/p> How does it affect your work life?<\/p> Before rushing into anything, let the dust settle. Take time to think through your options. Aim for open and honest communication with your soon-to-be-ex. Good communication is the key to good relationships. It\u2019s also key to a low-conflict divorce.<\/p> It is so tough working everything out on your own. Friends are great for moral support, but not always your best port of call for balance and clarity! There are a number of places you can turn to as you decide how to take your next steps:<\/p> Relationship counselling can be helpful to strengthen a rocky relationship. It\u2019s also there for people who want a calm and positive end to their relationship. A relationship counsellor will provide a space for you and your soon-to-be-ex-husband to come to decisions, communicate effectively and solve problems. You can have joint or individual sessions, or a combination of both.<\/p> Divorce is hard, there\u2019s no getting around that. It can also be positive. But for some, divorce triggers overwhelming feelings. It can be very helpful to speak with a therapist about your fears, thoughts and behaviours. A therapist will provide a safe place for you to offload, examine any patterns in your life and begin to plan a way forward. You don\u2019t need to be at crisis point to try therapy \u2013 in fact it can help you avoid getting to that point!<\/p> Divorce throws up all sorts of feelings about your self, your identity and your worth, as well as how to best handle the whole divorce process. A divorce coach (like me!) is equipped to help you deal with both sets of questions. An experienced coach is there to help you make a plan for your future that is in line with your values and goals. A coach will also help you tackle self-sabotaging behaviours that prevent you from reaching your goals. And a divorce coach will help you find your way through the trees, at every step helping you make the decision that are right for you.<\/p> If you want help as you explore your options, contact me to book a free initial call. You don\u2019t have to do this alone.<\/p> Contact\u00a0 Emma<\/strong><\/p> Emma Heptonstall,<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/strong><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a practising family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self study and group programmes. Emma is featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[12,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4424","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce-support","category-i-want-to-leave-my-husband"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6aDhr-19m","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/EH_BlogImage-7.png?fit=1000%2C516&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4424","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4424"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4424\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4425"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4424"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4424"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4424"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/span>Look after your emotions<\/span><\/h2>\n
\n
<\/span>Consider the practicalities<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Seek help<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Relationship counselling<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Therapy<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Divorce coaching<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>The Divorce Alchemist<\/span><\/h2>\n
Decided to Divorce? Explore Your Options<\/h1>
Look after your emotions<\/h2>
Consider the practicalities<\/h2>
Seek help<\/h2>
Relationship counselling<\/h2>
Therapy<\/h2>
Divorce coaching<\/h2>
The Divorce Alchemist<\/h2>