[et_pb_section bb_built=”1″ inner_width=”auto” inner_max_width=”1080px”][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.24″ text_text_shadow_horizontal_length=”text_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ text_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=”0px” text_text_shadow_vertical_length=”text_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ text_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=”0px” text_text_shadow_blur_strength=”text_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ text_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=”1px” link_text_shadow_horizontal_length=”link_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ link_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=”0px” link_text_shadow_vertical_length=”link_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ link_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=”0px” link_text_shadow_blur_strength=”link_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ link_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=”1px” ul_text_shadow_horizontal_length=”ul_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ul_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=”0px” ul_text_shadow_vertical_length=”ul_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ul_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=”0px” ul_text_shadow_blur_strength=”ul_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ul_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=”1px” ol_text_shadow_horizontal_length=”ol_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ol_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=”0px” ol_text_shadow_vertical_length=”ol_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ol_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=”0px” ol_text_shadow_blur_strength=”ol_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ol_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=”1px” quote_text_shadow_horizontal_length=”quote_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ quote_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=”0px” quote_text_shadow_vertical_length=”quote_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ quote_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=”0px” quote_text_shadow_blur_strength=”quote_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ quote_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=”1px” header_text_shadow_horizontal_length=”header_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=”0px” header_text_shadow_vertical_length=”header_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=”0px” header_text_shadow_blur_strength=”header_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=”1px” header_2_text_shadow_horizontal_length=”header_2_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_2_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=”0px” header_2_text_shadow_vertical_length=”header_2_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_2_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=”0px” header_2_text_shadow_blur_strength=”header_2_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_2_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=”1px” header_3_text_shadow_horizontal_length=”header_3_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_3_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=”0px” header_3_text_shadow_vertical_length=”header_3_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_3_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=”0px” header_3_text_shadow_blur_strength=”header_3_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_3_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=”1px” header_4_text_shadow_horizontal_length=”header_4_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_4_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=”0px” header_4_text_shadow_vertical_length=”header_4_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_4_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=”0px” header_4_text_shadow_blur_strength=”header_4_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_4_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=”1px” header_5_text_shadow_horizontal_length=”header_5_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_5_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=”0px” header_5_text_shadow_vertical_length=”header_5_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_5_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=”0px” header_5_text_shadow_blur_strength=”header_5_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_5_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=”1px” header_6_text_shadow_horizontal_length=”header_6_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_6_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=”0px” header_6_text_shadow_vertical_length=”header_6_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_6_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=”0px” header_6_text_shadow_blur_strength=”header_6_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_6_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=”1px” box_shadow_horizontal_tablet=”0px” box_shadow_vertical_tablet=”0px” box_shadow_blur_tablet=”40px” box_shadow_spread_tablet=”0px” z_index_tablet=”500″ text_text_align=”justify” text_font_size=”15px” text_orientation=”justified” header_text_align=”justify” header_text_color=”#c5b2b1″ header_2_text_color=”#c984a4″]<\/p>\n
Last time on the blog we looked at <\/span>how to get organised for summer<\/span><\/a><\/em>; how make sure you know what the arrangements for your children are and that you\u2019re both happy with them. In\u00a0How to plan summer without your children,<\/em> we take the next step and look at how\u00a0you<\/em> will handle summer on your own.<\/span><\/p>\n Once you know the barebones of the summer holiday arrangements it\u2019s time to plan. The thought of being without your children for a week or two might flood you with all sorts of competing emotions:<\/span><\/p>\n Your feelings might contradict each other. You might feel everything all at once, or have good days followed by bad. <\/span> \u00a0 It\u2019s all normal. It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019re going crazy or you\u2019re a bad mum. Don\u2019t push back against what you\u2019re feeling \u2013 let all those emotions come up for air. They are all valid \u2013 they\u2019re all part of you and your response to a difficult situation.<\/span> \u00a0 Being away from your children is usually hardest the first time but it\u2019s likely you\u2019re always going to feel some sadness. Let it happen and reach out to friends who will have your back.<\/span> \u00a0<\/p>\n Remember that any summer holiday arrangements are about looking after your children\u2019s needs. Whatever you feel about being apart from them, help them prepare positively for their time with their father. <\/span> \u00a0 If they\u2019re going overseas, help them pick out appropriate holiday wear, and maybe learn a few holiday phrases with a free app such as Duo Lingo. This way you can share some of the experience with them, and you’ll also be reassuring them that you’re happy for them and importantly, it’s ok for them to be excited and enjoy themselves.<\/span> \u00a0<\/p>\n Wherever they\u2019re off to look together at a map to see where they\u2019re going, and support them as they get excited about it all, and reassure them if they feel nervous or scared.\u00a0<\/span> \u00a0 Make sure you and your soon-to-be-ex-husband\u00a0are clear about whether you\u2019ll have any contact with the children while they\u2019re away. Will they text, phone, or write you a postcard? Discussing this can help your children feel more settled if they\u2019re not used to spending time away from you. <\/span> \u00a0<\/p>\n Plan your own special time with your children together too. It doesn\u2019t have to be a fancy holiday \u2013 camping in the garden (or under the dining table if the weather\u2019s dreadful!) can create magical memories. Remember, when your children are grown, they’ll remember how they felt<\/em> just as much as what they did. Whilst it’s easy to get sucked into the belief that our children will love us more if we shower them with expensive gifts and experiences, it’s simply not true.<\/span> \u00a0<\/p>\n Even if it doesn\u2019t feel like it, the time your children are away is an opportunity for you to take care of you. How are you going to spend your time?<\/span> \u00a0 Being a single parent is hard work, so make sure you build in some time for self care. Self care isn\u2019t all about spa days and bubble baths \u2013 it can also look mean you:<\/span><\/p>\n And of course, plan some treats for you too. Finances might dictate what you do, but even on a limited budget you can get together with friends and unwind properly. If you can afford to take yourself off on holiday \u2013 do it, guilt-free. Did you had holidays alone during your marriage? If you did, you might be asking for a budget for this on divorce, many of my clients do.<\/span> \u00a0<\/p>\n If How to plan summer without your children<\/em> has made you realise you’d like some support as you adapt to summers apart from your children, just get in touch. I\u2019m here for you \u2013 together we can work out strategies to keep communication on track with your soon-to-be-ex-husband and get you in the right mindset to make the most of your summer. <\/span> Book a call with me <\/span>here<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n Emma Heptonstall,<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/strong><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a practising family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u00a0<\/p> Last time on the blog we looked at <\/span>how to get organised for summer<\/span><\/a><\/em>; how make sure you know what the arrangements for your children are and that you\u2019re both happy with them. In\u00a0How to plan for summer without your children,<\/em> we take the next step and look at how\u00a0you<\/em> will handle summer on your own.<\/span><\/p> Once you know the barebones of the summer holiday arrangements it\u2019s time to plan. The thought of being without your children for a week or two might flood you with all sorts of competing emotions:<\/span><\/p> Your feelings might contradict each other. You might feel everything all at once, or have good days followed by bad. <\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> It\u2019s all normal. It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019re going crazy or you\u2019re a bad mum. Don\u2019t push back against what you\u2019re feeling \u2013 let all those emotions come up for air. They are all valid \u2013 they\u2019re all part of you and your response to a difficult situation.<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Being away from your children is usually hardest the first time but it\u2019s likely you\u2019re always going to feel some sadness. Let it happen and reach out to friends who will have your back.<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Remember that any summer holiday arrangements are about looking after your children\u2019s needs. Whatever you feel about being apart from them, help them prepare positively for their time with their father. <\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> If they\u2019re going overseas, help them pick out appropriate holiday wear, and maybe learn a few holiday phrases with a free app such as Duo Lingo. This way you can share some of the experience with them, and you'll also be reassuring them that you're happy for them and importantly, it's ok for them to be excited and enjoy themselves.<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Wherever they\u2019re off to look together at a map to see where they\u2019re going, and support them as they get excited about it all, and reassure them if they feel nervous or scared.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Make sure you and your soon-to-be-ex-husband\u00a0are clear about whether you\u2019ll have any contact with the children while they\u2019re away. Will they text, phone, or write you a postcard? Discussing this can help your children feel more settled if they\u2019re not used to spending time away from you. <\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Plan your own special time with your children together too. It doesn\u2019t have to be a fancy holiday \u2013 camping in the garden (or under the dining table if the weather\u2019s dreadful!) can create magical memories. Remember, when your children are grown, they'll remember how they felt just as much as what they did. Whilst its easy to get sucked into the belief that our children will love us more if we shower them with expensive gifts and experiences, it's simply not true.<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Even if it doesn\u2019t feel like it, the time your children are away is an opportunity for you to take care of you. How are you going to spend your time?<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> Being a single parent is hard work, so make sure you build in some time for self care. Self care isn\u2019t all about spa days and bubble baths \u2013 it can also look mean you:<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> And of course, plan some treats for you too. Finances might dictate what you do, but even on a limited budget you can get together with friends and unwind properly. If you can afford to take yourself off on holiday \u2013 do it, guilt-free. If you had holidays alone during your marriage you might be asking for a budget for this on divorce, many of my clients do.<\/span><\/p> \u00a0<\/p> If you want support as you adapt to summers apart from your children, just get in touch. I\u2019m here for you \u2013 together we can work out strategies to keep communication on track with your soon-to-be-ex-husband and get you in the right mindset to make the most of your summer. <\/span><\/p> Book a call with me <\/span>here<\/span><\/a><\/p> Emma Heptonstall,<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/strong><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a practising family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,397],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4571","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-children-and-divorce","category-divorce-self-care"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Copy-of-EH_BlogImage-2.png?fit=1000%2C516&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6aDhr-1bJ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4571","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4571"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4571\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4572"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/span>Feel the feelings<\/span><\/h2>\n
\n
<\/span>Focus on your children<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Focus on you<\/span><\/h2>\n
\n
<\/span>The Divorce Alchemist<\/span><\/h3>\n
How to plan summer without your children<\/h1>
Feel the feelings<\/h2>
Focus on your children<\/h2>
Focus on you<\/h2>
The Divorce Alchemist<\/h3>