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Getting divorced and can\u2019t afford or don\u2019t want to engage a solicitor? Don\u2019t worry. The legal process is easier if you do have representation, but it\u2019s certainly possible to hold your own in the family courts without \u2013 especially if I\u2019ve got your back! Being a litigant in person (representing yourself) isn’t everyone’s first choice – it’s often the only choice. Others choose to do bits of the process themselves to keep precious funds for when legal advice is absolutely necessary.<\/span><\/p>\n There are two foundations to managing your own financial process: preparation and calm. Easier said than done, you say? In <\/span>How to manage the financial process without a divorce lawyer <\/span><\/em>I\u2019ll show you how. <\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019m not sure whether I believe the adage fail to prepare and prepare to fail in general terms, but I know it\u2019s true when it comes to managing the financial process without a lawyer. You cannot wing it – seriously. You\u2019ll come unstuck so fast you won\u2019t know what hit you. Remember the Girl Guide motto #beprepared<\/span><\/p>\n The good news is you can start right here. If you haven\u2019t already, read my blogs on Financial Disclosure<\/span><\/a> and Financial Remedy.<\/a> They\u2019ll give you the background to what you\u2019re dealing with. Do it now! <\/span><\/p>\n Preparation isn\u2019t a one-off activity. Just like staying on top of all the evidence you need for financial disclosure, preparation is on-going. This doesn\u2019t mean you need to become a divorce bore \u2013 please don\u2019t, there\u2019s more to you than divorce! But you do need to stay actively engaged, and not push it away because of fear or because you wish it would disappear.<\/span><\/p>\n Organisation is absolutely key to success in this process. You need all your paperwork filed in one place with a table of contents, a diary for key dates and reminders on your phone to take certain actions or chase outstanding items. Make it a part of what you do every day. This means (a) it will get done without mounting up and (b) it won\u2019t take over your life as you\u2019ve set aside time. <\/span><\/p>\n Organisation means you\u2019ll know every square inch of your divorce case and his.\u00a0It will also help to keep you calm and increase your confidence.<\/span><\/p>\n Always remember this is a business process, however personal it might feel. Be professional. If you can, send emails or type letters. Don\u2019t handwrite letters – if you want to be taken seriously, take it seriously. If you don\u2019t yet have a printer, go buy one, borrow a friend\u2019s or use the service in your library. You can print directly from your phone if you don\u2019t have a laptop. <\/span><\/p>\n Understand the law as it relates to your jurisdiction. In England and Wales you need to understand s25 Matrimonial Causes Act 1973. You may also need to become familiar with the Family Procedure Rules 2010.<\/span><\/p>\n If you have pensions you need to understand the type of pension you have and the type of scheme it\u2019s in. Get copies of the rules for each one so you understand what\u2019s going to be possible for you. You will need to do the same for your soon-to-be-ex\u2019s pension if you\u2019re hoping to receive a share of it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Check out your own mortgage borrowing capacity. Find out what it would cost to buy and rent a suitable property even if you plan to stay in the family marital home. The court could order sale of the home and you might end up in rented accommodation. You need to know what that might cost so the judge can take it into account.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Remember the actual divorce process is separate from the financial separation process. If you\u2019re a member of the Absolute Academy, revisit the #DivorceLive challenge in the portal for an overview of both. If you\u2019re not an Academy member you can find out more and join here<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Whether it\u2019s mind monkeys whispering \u2018you can\u2019t do this\u2019 or anger about the unfairness of it all, you must master your emotions. Imagine that you are a business woman (you might be already) going into a financial negotiation to save a company or imagine you\u2019re going into a business meeting to negotiate for the welfare of your children. That\u2019s exactly what\u2019s happening here. <\/span><\/p>\n This is about something so much bigger than your feelings. When you focus on the big picture you cease to be the downtrodden wife you may feel you\u2019ve become and instead become the lioness protecting her cubs or her territory.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Staying calm under pressure means not taking anything personally. Simply focus on the business aspects of legal separation. Have the awareness and courage to accept that if you\u2019re struggling, you need to get support to get this done.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Many things will annoy and irritate the hell out of you, especially in letters, texts and emails from your soon-to-be-ex-husband or their solicitor. Don\u2019t take anything personally. Some solicitors (not all), write appalling letters to clients who are unrepresented! Unfortunately, they may be trying to take advantage. Don\u2019t be psyched-out by a rude and obnoxious letter from your ex or their solicitor. Mostly its posturing – it might be the best they have.<\/span><\/p>\n Respond calmly to correspondence with a correction of the mis-stated facts. Don\u2019t be rude and obnoxious in return, as much as you might want to. Keep it professional and consider reporting the solicitor to the Law Society or Resolution later.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Feel free to rant at trusted friends, me, or others in the Absolute Academy if you need to! <\/span><\/p>\n Divorce is one of the most stressful experiences of your life \u2013 up there with bereavement. But you must remember that when it comes to the courts it\u2019s simply a paperwork trail and the appropriate application of the law. <\/span><\/p>\n Judges view hundreds of cases, they will not get caught up in your emotional story. They will look at facts and figures. So you need to have those to hand. You need to have done your research so you understand the area of law you are dealing with and you need to have thought through both your case and your soon-to-be-ex-husband’s too.<\/span><\/p>\n When I’m asked about <\/span>How to manage the financial process without a divorce lawyer,<\/span><\/em> my thoughts are these:<\/span><\/p>\n Going through divorce and financial remedy without a solicitor doesn\u2019t mean you need to go it alone. As a former lawyer, I can help with the knowledge-based and practical aspects of your divorce, so you understand exactly what\u2019s going on. As a coach I also help you envision life after divorce, work through your emotions, put yourself first and get to where you want and need to be by making smart decisions. <\/span><\/p>\n Get yourself into the Absolute Academy<\/span><\/a> today, for all the legal and practical know-how you need, as well as a fabulous community of women who will have your back.<\/span><\/p>\n And if you want some 1-1 support to get this divorce DONE, let\u2019s chat<\/span><\/a>!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Emma Heptonstall,<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book\u00a0How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready<\/strong><\/a>. A former lawyer, Emma is a practising family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit\u00a0www.emmaheptonstall.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" How to manage the financial process without a divorce lawyer Getting divorced and can\u2019t afford or don\u2019t want to engage a solicitor? Don\u2019t worry. The legal process is easier if you do have representation, but it\u2019s certainly possible to hold your own in the family courts without \u2013 especially if I\u2019ve got your back! Being […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":7194,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":" Getting divorced and can\u2019t afford or don\u2019t want to engage a solicitor? Don\u2019t worry. The legal process is easier if you do have representation, but it\u2019s certainly possible to hold your own in the family courts without \u2013 especially if I\u2019ve got your back!<\/span><\/p> There are two foundations to managing your own financial process: preparation and calm. Easier said than done, you say? In <\/span>How to manage the financial process without a divorce lawyer <\/span><\/em>I\u2019ll show you how. <\/span><\/p> I\u2019m not sure whether I believe the adage fail to prepare and prepare to fail in general terms, but I know it\u2019s true when it comes to managing the financial process without a lawyer. You cannot wing it - seriously. You\u2019ll come unstuck so fast you won\u2019t know what hit you. Remember the Girl Guide motto #beprepared<\/span><\/p> The good news is you can start right here. If you haven\u2019t already, read my blogs on Financial Disclosure<\/span><\/a> and Financial Remedy. They\u2019ll give you the background to what you\u2019re dealing with. Do it now! <\/span><\/p> Preparation isn\u2019t a one-off activity. Just like staying on top of all the evidence you need for financial disclosure, preparation is on-going. This doesn\u2019t mean you need to become a divorce bore \u2013 please don\u2019t, there\u2019s more to you than divorce! But you do need to stay actively engaged, and not push it away because of fear or because you wish it would disappear.<\/span><\/p> Organisation is absolutely key to success in this process. You need all your paperwork filed in one place with a table of contents, a diary for key dates and reminders on your phone to take certain actions or chase outstanding items. Make it a part of what you do every day. This means (a) it will get done without mounting up and (b) it won\u2019t take over your life as you\u2019ve set aside time. <\/span><\/p> Organisation means you\u2019ll know every square inch of your divorce case and his.\u00a0It will also help to keep you calm and increase your confidence.<\/span><\/p> Always remember this is a business process, however personal it might feel. Be professional. If you can, send emails or type letters. Don\u2019t handwrite letters - if you want to be taken seriously, take it seriously. If you don\u2019t yet have a printer, go buy one, borrow a friend\u2019s or use the service in your library. You can print directly from your phone if you don\u2019t have a laptop. <\/span><\/p> Understand the law as it relates to your jurisdiction. In England and Wales you need to understand s25 Matrimonial Causes Act 1973. You may also need to become familiar with the Family Procedure Rules 2010.<\/span><\/p> If you have pensions you need to understand the type of pension you have and the type of scheme it\u2019s in. Get copies of the rules for each one so you understand what\u2019s going to be possible for you. You will need to do the same for your soon to be ex\u2019s pension if you\u2019re hoping to receive a share of it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> Check out your own mortgage borrowing capacity. Find out what it would cost to buy and rent a suitable property even if you plan to stay in the family marital home. The court could order sale of the home and you might end up in rented accommodation. You need to know what that might cost so the judge can take it into account.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> Remember the actual divorce process is separate from the financial separation process. If you\u2019re a member of the Absolute Academy, revisit the #DivorceLive challenge in the portal for an overview of both. If you\u2019re not an Academy member you can find out more and join here<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> Whether it\u2019s mind monkeys whispering \u2018you can\u2019t do this\u2019 or anger about the unfairness of it all, you must master your emotions. Imagine that you are a business woman (you might be already) going into a financial negotiation to save a company or imagine you\u2019re going into a business meeting to negotiate for the welfare of your children. That\u2019s exactly what\u2019s happening here. <\/span><\/p> This is about something so much bigger than your feelings. When you focus on the big picture you cease to be the downtrodden wife you may feel you\u2019ve become and instead become the lioness protecting her cubs or her territory.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> Staying calm under pressure means not taking anything personally. Simply focus on the business aspects of legal separation. Have the awareness and courage to accept that if you\u2019re struggling, you need to get support to get this done.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> Many things will annoy and irritate the hell out of you, especially in letters, texts and emails from your ex or their solicitor. Don\u2019t take anything personally. Some solicitors write appalling letters to clients who are unrepresented! Unfortunately, they may be trying to take advantage. Don\u2019t be psyched-out by a rude and obnoxious letter from your ex or their solicitor. Mostly it\u2019s posturing - it might be the best they have.<\/span><\/p> Respond calmly to correspondence with a correction of the mis-stated facts. Don\u2019t be rude and obnoxious in return, as much as you might want to. Keep it professional and consider reporting the solicitor to the Law Society or Resolution later.\u00a0<\/span><\/p> Feel free to rant at trusted friends, me, or others in the Absolute Academy if you need to! <\/span><\/p> Divorce is one of the most stressful experiences of your life \u2013 up there with bereavement. But you must remember that when it comes to the courts it\u2019s simply a paperwork trail and the appropriate application of the law. <\/span><\/p> Judges view hundreds of cases, they will not get caught up in your emotional story. They will look at facts and figures. So you need to have those to hand. You need to have done your research so you understand the area of law you are dealing with and you need to have thought through both your case and your ex\u2019s.<\/span><\/p> Going through divorce and financial remedy without a solicitor doesn\u2019t mean you need to go it alone. As a former solicitor I can help with the knowledge-based and practical aspects of your divorce, so you understand exactly what\u2019s going on. As a coach I also help you envision life after divorce, work through your emotions, put yourself first and get to where you want and need to be by making smart decisions. <\/span><\/p> Get yourself into the Absolute Academy<\/span><\/a> today, for all the legal and practical know-how you need, as well as a fabulous community of women who will have your back.<\/span><\/p><\/span>Be Prepared<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Get organised<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Keep it business-like<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Do your research<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Stay calm<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Respond don\u2019t react<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Remember \u2013 this is a business deal<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Get help! Self-representation doesn’t mean going it alone<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>The Divorce Alchemist<\/span><\/h3>\n
How to manage the financial process without a divorce lawyer<\/span><\/h1>
Be Prepared<\/span><\/h2>
Get organised<\/span><\/h2>
Keep it business-like<\/span><\/h2>
Do your research<\/span><\/h2>
Stay calm<\/span><\/h2>
Respond don\u2019t react<\/span><\/h2>
Remember \u2013 this is a business deal<\/span><\/h2>
Get help! <\/span><\/h2>