{"id":850,"date":"2015-03-01T17:23:13","date_gmt":"2015-03-01T17:23:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/?p=850"},"modified":"2015-03-01T18:47:44","modified_gmt":"2015-03-01T18:47:44","slug":"why-your-days-as-a-stay-at-home-mum-may-be-numbered","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/why-your-days-as-a-stay-at-home-mum-may-be-numbered\/","title":{"rendered":"Why your days as a stay at home mum may be numbered"},"content":{"rendered":"<h1 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"color: #c70d92;\"><b>Why your days as a stay at home mum may be numbered<\/b><\/span><\/h1>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"if_youre_getting_a_divorce%e2%80%a6\"><\/span><span style=\"color: #c70d92;\">If you&#8217;re getting a divorce&#8230;.<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Many a divorcing woman may be reading the UK headlines about the latest high net-worth divorce<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>case with horror.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">In the UK, the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/uk-news\/2015\/feb\/24\/judge-ex-wife-millionaire-work\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span class=\"s2\">Court of Appeal has ruled that it is no longer acceptable for an ex-wife to live off her ex-husband for life.<\/span><\/a> In what is seen by many as a landmark ruling, what this case actually does, is potentially place limits on how long a mother can stay at home to raise her family.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"so_what_does_this_judgement_mean\"><\/span><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">So what does this judgement mean ?<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ul style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<li class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><i>You won&#8217;t be able to live off your ex-husband forever (like you really wanted to).<\/i><\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Y<i>ou will have to work to support yourself (you probably want to do that anyway).<\/i><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong><i>So what&#8217;s the big deal?<\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Well, it also means<i>,<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n<ul style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<li class=\"p3\"><em><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><strong>Your days as a stay at home mum may be numbered<\/strong> because you may have to go back to work sooner than you&#8217;d planned (Oh, not what you wanted)<\/span><\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><b>The truth is, for many women who are getting divorced, living off their former husband is just not an option<\/b> because there just isn&#8217;t even money to support two homes.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>As<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Lord Justice Pitchford has told Tracey Wright, the \u201c<b>vast majority\u201d of women go out to work when they get divorced<\/b>. Because they have to. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Many a mother would like to stay at home but can\u2019t.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">The Judgement in this case highlights the need for women to begin to plan for \u201can income changing event\u201d such as the reduction in their maintenance as soon as they can. Many women however, feel overwhelmed by the idea that they have to replace their husband\u2019s income with an income of their own.<\/span><\/p>\n<h4 class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"before_you_go_into_meltdown_remember_this_the_law_has_long_expected_spousal_maintenance_to_end_when_it_is_%e2%80%98just_and_reasonable\"><\/span><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #701f88;\"><i>Before you go into meltdown, remember this, the law has long expected spousal maintenance to end when it is \u2018just and reasonable\u2019.<\/i><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">The law is there to ensure that <b>your \u201ctransition to independence\u201d is provided for<\/b>. The \u2018best interests\u2019 of your children holds considerable weight. <b>The ages of your children and the length of your marriage<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>are relevant but not pivotal considerations<\/b> . The law will accept some hardship (but not undue hardship) because there is inevitably going to be a fall in the standard of living when one household becomes two.<\/span><\/p>\n<h4 class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"there_is_inevitably_going_to_be_a_fall_in_the_standard_of_living_when_one_household_becomes_two\"><\/span><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #701f88;\"><i>there is inevitably going to be a fall in the standard of living when one household becomes two.<\/i><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n<h3 class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"so_what_can_you_do_now\"><\/span><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><b>So what can you do now?<\/b><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">If you are going through divorce, recognise now that its unlikely that your husband will be ordered to pay you spousal maintenance for an extended period of time. In reality, this has been the case for many years for the majority of women.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">You may have to consider returning to work sooner than you had hoped. Lord Justice Pitchfork commenting that Year 2 might be the time when a mother could be expected to have some employment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">If you are a divorced woman who has an extended\/extendable or lifetime order, your husband may now seek to review the order in line with this case.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"communicate_and_plan_with_your_husband\"><\/span><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><b>Communicate and plan with your husband<\/b><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">The law says that you and your husband are the best people to make decisions about your family. So make them. Take responsibility and make decisions.\u00a0<\/span><b>Family Mediation and Collaborative Law can help you<\/b> by supporting you to decide the principle by which you want to divorce.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">You might choose:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\"> To be fair to one another.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\"> To put the needs of your family first.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\"> To ensure that the children have a parent at home when they come in from school<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\"> To agree that one parent will not go out to work until the children are a certain age.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">It doesn&#8217;t matter. What you choose to agree between yourselves is a matter for you. <\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"plan_for_your_future\"><\/span><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><b>Plan for your future<\/b><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">By making agreements now, you can plan. If you decide that you will return to work once the children are at school <b>you can make arrangements to retrain, take classes,<\/b> whatever. If your children are already at school, what is the time frame you need to get back to work. Do you want to return to your career or would you like a new one? By getting clear now, you can ask for that to be taken into consideration in your settlement.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"hire_a_divorce_coach\"><\/span><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><b>Hire a Divorce Coach<\/b><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Communicating with your soon to be ex-husband, planning for the future. Knowing what you want and how much money you need. OMG it\u2019s scary right?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Well, it can be.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Hiring a divorce coach can help you with all these issues. A <a href=\"http:\/\/www.huffingtonpost.com\/2012\/09\/19\/your-money-what-can-a-div_n_1897963.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span class=\"s2\">divorce coach helps you<\/span><\/a> decide what you want, helps you get organised and helps you stay on track. Using a divorce coach can literally save you thousands. A divorce coach helps you to communicate both with yourself and your husband.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">In truth, the judgement in <i>Wright v Wright <\/i>won\u2019t pave the way for massive changes for the majority of divorcing women in the UK.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\">The Judgement has not yet been published but \u00a0one thing appears clear; the courts will expect mothers to return to work \u00a0earlier than some women would like. What are you going to do?<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why your days as a stay at home mum may be numbered If you&#8217;re getting a divorce&#8230;. Many a divorcing woman may be reading the UK headlines about the latest high net-worth divorce\u00a0 case with horror. In the UK, the Court of Appeal has ruled that it is no longer acceptable for an ex-wife to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":864,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-850","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-divorce-process"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Getting-Divorced-sahm.png?fit=940%2C788&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6aDhr-dI","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/850","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=850"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/850\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/864"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=850"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=850"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emmaheptonstall.com\/divorce-coaching\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=850"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}