Hello, I’m EmmaHeptonstall:
The Divorce Alchemist.
Alchemy means transforming something through a seemingly magical process. Iron to gold. Confusion to clarity. Unhealthy marriage to joyful independence.
Let’s transform your life.
I’ve worked as a divorce coach and strategist for over a decade now, supporting women who are in that lonely, confusing place of divorce, whether:
- It’s on the horizon because you can’t ignore the reality that your marriage is toxic.
- you’ve decided to leave, and have no idea what to do next.
- you’re in the middle of agreeing financial and parenting orders
- you have a high conflict situation on your hands, and a soon-to-be-ex who is making life as complicated as possible…
Whatever your circumstances, the future feels unknown. Stability and a life you’re excited about feel like a distant dream.
And that’s where I come in.
I know that you want answers, and really, you just want this all to go away. I know you feel frozen in fear of what next, and paralysed by indecision.
I also know: you can do this. Yes, you need answers, and I can help you find them for yourself. Yes, you want it to be all over, and I can help you get there in a smart way, so you’re not setting yourself up for more damage down the line, instead you’re excited about the future you’re creating for yourself,
Transform your relationship with yourself. Be the CEO of your divorce. Build a future that feels right.
Divorce coaching empowers you
(& your bank balance)
I’m not here to tell you what to do, as much as you might want someone to give you all the answers right now. Every divorce is different, and you’re the expert in your own life. But I do bring my years of legal experience, my high conflict training and my trauma-responsive coaching expertise to play. I empower you to know what’s right for you. And then have the confidence to act on it. This changes everything.
Don’t use a solicitor to figure out your plan. When you instruct a solicitor you get billed for every six minutes of their time. Use them to do their job (getting on with the legal process) and put yourself in charge of your own divorce and work in partnership with the legal professionals.
I’m here to help you resolve your divorce as swiftly and as amicably as possible, with the least possible emotional harm all round. If you’re in a high conflict situation and amicable divorce isn’t an option, don’t worry. I’m a trained high conflict diversion specialist and trauma-responsive, therapeutic coach. I know that divorcing a narcissistic personality is a whole different ball game. I can help you plan and act in a way that protects you, now and in the future.
There is no getting away from the fact that divorce is stressful. That it’s life-changing. But what if you could navigate this stressful, life-changing process with self-trust, and come out stronger? What if your divorce is the gateway to a new, confident future full of hope and possibility? What if this is not an end, but a beginning?
What do you get when you work with a trauma-responsive divorce strategist?
Trauma-responsive support
Most of the women I work with are carrying trauma. Many don’t realise it. That’s because trauma doesn’t always come from a big, horrific event. Trauma is the response you have to what happens to you – the wounds you carry.
And unhealthy marriage wounds you. For some, it can feel more like death by a thousand, silent cuts.
Trauma-responsiveness is embedded in all my coaching work, to help you have time and space to process what you need to, and, crucially, move through it. Our work together is about being able to move forward with trust in yourself, and with new patterns established for how to show up in your divorce and life after.
A strategy for now & next
Divorce is about your future. Navigating it needs to be strategic: you need to consider two things at once:
What do you need right now?
And what does your future self need?
Most women neglect one of these questions, or feel so ground down by the divorce process that they know
Women often come to the divorce
they’re setting themselves up for trouble, but don’t have the bandwidth to do anything about it.
Let’s change that. When you work with me we build your strategies for both now: working with the issues, emotions and beliefs that are showing up, and next: making smart, informed choices to set you up for a flourishing future.
Specialist expertise & networks
I bring 13 years of experience as a legal adviser, my work as an NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) Master Practitioner, my training as a therapeutic trauma-responsive coach and my accredited status as the UK’s first High Conflict Diversion Specialist to our work together. What does this mean for you? It means my support is informed by close,up to date understanding of the legal process, as well as the highest levels of communication training – which is vital, when communication is the number one way to reduce costs and conflict in divorce.
I also bring access to a personally selected network of resolution-focussed finance, legal and therapy experts, if you need specialist support you can trust.