The Absolute Academy

“A friend initially handed me Emma’s book when they heard I wanted to get divorced but what really lured me into the AA fold was the calm authoritative tone of its director, Emma Heptonstall on the phone one morning. I remember exactly where I was sitting (a less often visited Pret in West London) when something went click inside my head as Emma gently held me in her capable hands in that 1st free consultation as I babbled, worried and narrated my thus-far story. Later, when my story took the shape of a saga with many nail biting months of waiting for my ex to cooperate, there were multiple occasions when I looked forward to the weekly catch ups online so I could feel seen & heard by the experts and others who became familiar.

There were also plenty of times when something too awful to bear alone happened and then I had a place to fire off a message, safe in the knowledge that I would get an answer almost immediately, plus a dose of sympathy and a knowledge of what that feels like. This was something no friends or family could provide. Being part of the online group also gave me the chance to reflect on what my situation was like, a little from the outside. Everyone’s empathy and also having the opportunity to provide it back to others at times also formed an invaluable aspect to what is a very special community to be part of at a difficult time. Knowing I was not alone was the key.“

“How you are feeling is a rollercoaster and most of us don’t know how to do this stuff!

Emma does. She gets it. She will get you.”

“Originally (naively) I thought my divorce wouldn’t need solicitors so it was that balance of having some guidance and support versus paying lots of money to a solicitor… I knew it would be really cost effective but the beauty of working with you is that you can balance all of those things, and when it did end up being super high-conflict, your absolute robust background and training set you apart; you had and the education and experience to really hold my hand through that process of actually getting me through the court process and formalities with the compassion and empathy, which is what I needed: guidance, focus structure some tough love occasionally but compassion and empathy. I didn’t know my numbers; it was so helpful to have you guide me through that.

It was really important to me that you had a strong background, education and experience as well as the human side of things that you offered. 

When my divorce turned into a high-conflict situation you pivoted in what you offered me. It’s also important to me that you don’t allow man-bashing. In your community you allow people to share their stories but you dont let us get stuck in man-bashing and ruminating and you guide us away from that because it really isn’t helpful. You have the ability to be endlessly patient and neutral especially when someone is stuck and not listening to your guidance in the group programme.

The community is super-important. A knowledgeable group of women who all support each other and so well moderated. The facebook lives are great and you remind us not to go down rabbit holes and encourage us to focus on what’s important to us. Its a balance of support and community and friendship.“

“Emma has been brilliant. From the moment I realised that my marriage was over, I have been terrified, mainly because I had no idea what to do next or how much it was going to cost me.

Having been a stay at home mum, I didn’t have the safety net of my own income. Not only has Emma saved me a small fortune by avoiding unnecessary solicitor visits, but she has also equipped me with the knowledge I need and the confidence to drive things forward and to ask for what I really want.

Emma does this with patience and good humour, even when you are losing it and you feel like your world is ending. If you are questioning the cost, don’t! She is worth every penny and pays for herself in the money she saves you and the voice of sanity she brings amidst the chaos.

Do yourself a favour and have a chat with Emma.”

“I remember thinking I wish there was someone who could hold my hand through all this and guide me if a different way to the solicitors who seemed to be more reactive to questions I hadn’t even thought of at that time. I googled it and came up with a few names.

We chatted and I bought your book which I read cover to cover in 1 day (and I don’t read books)…

…We spoke and you were just super normal. No agenda for man hating, just empathy, support  and practical help…

…I liked that you had different options and that there was a support group even though as this has progressed I have preferred the privacy of just talking to you but it is reassuring to know you are not alone.

Your professional background and your calm friendly support and the fact you hadn’t personally been through the ‘shit’ leaving you bitter and twisted are big factors.

I knew from our initial conversation that with your support I could just do this. And thank god I did as I couldn’t have done/still be doing it without you.

In a nutshell. Because I knew when we spoke you knew exactly how I was feeling without me even explaining and felt you were like ‘Right we’ve got this…’

You helped take away the fear and made it practical whilst still offering emotional support. From the first conversation until now it has never felt like a business meeting.”

“I had no idea where to begin after my husband left.  To be honest, at first, I did nothing. Then I heard about Emma’s website for women going through a separation. I read it from start to finish then immediately signed up. 

Emma has been so supportive throughout my separation. She has helped me find the confidence to begin divorce proceedings without the need for a solicitor and therefore has saved me a lot of money. Not only that, she helped me to realise that it was ok, in fact, it was vital, to wait till I was ready, till I was capable of dealing with everything clearly, not emotionally. To get to that point was understandably difficult but Emma guided me through, helping me to deal with the emotional side fully so I was prepared to begin my divorce. 

I feel confident and informed in a way I didn’t think was possible without spending thousands of pounds and, even though I’m only at the start of my journey, through Emma, and the other woman I’ve met on this journey, I feel strong and knowledgeable and positive about my future. Thank you Emma x”