The summer holidays throw routines into chaos if you’re a parent. And if you’re in the midst of divorce, it can feel like the straw that breaks the camel’s back. But it is possible to stay sane, have fun and keep your divorce progressing. Here are 5 ways to ensure your divorce stays on track over summer:
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Let divorce go a little over summer
First up, the reality is that everything slows down over August. Even if you’re not going away, and want to keep steaming ahead with your work and divorce, other people will have their leave booked in. Solicitors and courts are on go-slow over the summer weeks, that’s just how it is.
The good news is, you don’t have to feel bad about slowing your pace down too. Honestly, it’s okay to have a breather – you’ll come back more refreshed. If this is going to leave you frustrated, do what you can to get your plan and your paperwork in order so you’re ready to roll when things pick up again. I’m working over August, so I can help you with that!
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Have planned breaks
There is a huge energetic difference between deliberately putting something to one side for a while, and avoiding it. You know that nagging feeling you should be getting on with something, and it’s just waiting for you, like a monster under the bed? It is possible to NOT feel like that.
Here’s how: you take charge of when the breaks are going to happen. If the school holidays mean the children are around and you’ll have less time for your divorce, own it. Work with the reality you have, don’t feel guilty about it. Decide what absolutely needs to happen and what will have to wait. Then, get on with enjoying summer! If you find it hard to prioritise or say no, let me help you create a strategy that works for you.
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Communicate clearly
If you know you’re not going to be available, make sure all the relevant people in your divorce know too, including your soon-to-be-ex. A simple: ‘I’m on holiday from xx to yy and I won’t be responding to messages during that time’ is enough. It means you set expectations, and your solicitors will know not to chase for anything.
The important thing here is to stick to it. If your soon-to-be-ex is someone who will cross boundaries, harassing you but not taking any responsibility themselves, then filter their number and email away, and only check it once a week.
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Make time for yourself
I can’t emphasise this enough, but you need to find pockets of time for yourself. You will parent better, and you’ll also be able to cope with any divorce curveballs better. Make use of holiday clubs. Organise childcare swaps with friends. Use CBeebies. But give yourself some headspace amongst it all.
Members of The Absolute Academy have access to a private Facebook community, where you can share what’s going on for you and your divorce. You can also join my weekly live Q&As and zoom calls to answer any questions. If you need a place where you can be yourself, and share the realities of managing divorce over summer, this is it!
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Have a plan for September
It’s so much easier to put something down if you know you have a plan to start again. If you’ve ever written a to-do list last thing at night to pick up in the morning, you’ll know this is true!
September is when the children are back in school and you can focus on what you need for you and your future. How are you going to make the most of this time so by the time Christmas comes around, you can look back at all the progress you’ve made?
Join The Absolute Academy and you can work through Get Divorce Ready live, with me in autumn. I’ll be with you, week by week, as you take the steps you need to divorce your way. By December you’ll be well on your way to the future you want and need.
Got questions about The Absolute Academy and whether you’re better off with the Absolute Essentials for £97/month, or the full Academy for £147/month? Book in your free 15 minute consultation and let’s explore what’s best for you!
About Emma
Emma Heptonstall, the Divorce Alchemist is the author of the Amazon best-selling book How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready, the online self-study programmes, and the newly released ‘Should I be a Lady Who Leaves?’. For More Information on Should I be a Lady Who Leaves? click here.
Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. Emma is also the host of The Six Minute Divorce Podcast. To find out more visit www.emmaheptonstall.com
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