Should I Stay or Should I Go?


date published

10th October 2015

written by

Emma Heptonstall Image

date published

10th October 2015

Should I stay or should I go?

Should I stay or should I go? Divorce or not to divorce. Hmmm. Never an easy question. The truth is, only you can decide. But how do you make such a tough decision?

How can you be sure that you get it right?

Should I Stay or Should I go the free webinar

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You know that the fall out from it is going to be huge. Its going to be monumental. It’s going to change your life. If you’re a lady who is (thinking of) leaving, you want it to be for the better. After all, no one leaves a happy relationship that fulfils all their emotional needs. I’m sorry but that’s the truth.

Why love doesn’t conquer all

If you’ve been thinking of leaving for a while, you’ll probably already know that love doesn’t conquer all. Oh, don’t get me wrong, it would be fabulous if it did. But it doesn’t.

Love just ain’t enough.

Relationships don’t end just because of a lack of love. You and your husband may love each other truly, madly and deeply. However, if any of these characteristics feature in your relationship, you may be struggling:

  • Alcohol misuse
  • Drug misuse
  • Differing libido
  • Financial issues
  • Depression
  • Working too much
  • Unemployment
  • Illness
  • Your values have changed
  • Domestic abuse

And of course there are many more. These issues can make it extremely hard to leave, particularly if you still love your husband. Even if you don’t, there’s that gut wrench guilt. Guilt that you’re abandoning him when he needs you. Guilt that you’ll be leaving the father of your kids and separating them when they adore each other.

You might be telling yourself you’re a selfish moo. But is  that really the truth? Are you really a bad person for wanting to leave? Really?

I recently did some research where ladies shared that on average, they waited 5 years before leaving. Many were in double figures. Very few ladies leave on a whim. They dig in and they do what they can to make it work. But what if you’ve done all that and you can’t take anymore?

I’m not telling you to stay, what I am saying is ‘Wait’.

Should I just go then?

No! Not unless you are experiencing domestic abuse. If you are experiencing abuse within your relationship, there are plenty of organisations who can help you, including Women’s Aid

This post is for you if you are not experiencing domestic violence.

You may have been thinking of leaving for a while, and you may be thinking What. She’s now telling me to stay?‘ No. I’m not telling you to stay, what I am saying is ‘Wait’. You see, I’m betting that you haven’t been very organised in your thinking. Why would you? You’re in a really uncomfortable place right now and it feels awful.

I’ll tell you a little story….

When I was in school I used to get so overwhelmed with all my homework. I was very conscientious and liked to make sure all my work was done on time and it was the best that it could be. I was a total stress-head. Perhaps you can relate to that feeling? My dad used to say this to me

Emma. Just plan your work and work your plan

And that’s what I used to do. OK, it often involved very intricate colour coded planners that took me hours  (I know I’m a procrastinator too), but the point is, I knew what I need to do and when.

When you got married I bet you planned the ass-off of it. Lists, notebooks, magazines, you name it, you had it. And why not?! You were super organised, you knew what you wanted and how to get it. Your divorce should be no different. Plan. Get clear. Get so clear there’s no room for doubt.

Getting clear starts with a smart decision

Put to one side for a moment the fact that you may have been waiting months or years to leave. What if you could get really clear, once and for all about whether you should leave. Would that make you feel better?

I know it would.

And what if I was to tell you, that with just a few minutes ‘work’ over a couple of days, you’ll be so much closer to that decision because it will literally be staring you in the face, would you be interested to know more? Well, I have news for you. I’ve put together a webinar to share with you my tips for helping you decide if it’s time to go. Sign up to watch now!

This webinar is for you lovely.  If you’ve already been through the whole shebang and want to share your insights let me know too! I’ll be delighted to share your expertise too! Comment below or email me if you prefer. You can sign up here, its free to attend:

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Introducing Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves

The most comprehensive programme for deciding whether to stay or leave your relationship. No more sleepless nights, second-guessing your future. Learn how to make this most important decision with complete confidence, and move forward with ease.


Get Divorce-Ready™

Get Divorce-Ready™

The thought of divorce is scary – I get it.

When you know exactly what you have and what you want and need, you trust yourself and your confidence grows.

When you have trust in yourself you have a voice. When you have a voice, you’re able to advocate for yourself putting yourself in the best position to get your divorce done in the easiest way possible.

In this FREE guide, I will help you understand the 3 steps you need to take in order for you to be able to approach your divorce from a place of calm, clarity and confidence.

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