Five benefits of joining a divorce community


date published

30th January 2023

written by

Emma Heptonstall Image

date published

30th January 2023

What is a divorce community and what can it do for you? A divorce community might be a new concept to you so in this blog we’ll dig into exactly what it’s about. I’ve run The Absolute Academy for nearly five years now, and supported hundreds of women through their divorces. But how does it work and why should you join? Here are five benefits of joining a divorce community.

You get the information you need, fast

You get access to two vital resources when you’re part of The Absolute Academy. The private, secret Facebook group is where all the chat and interaction happens. I’m in there regularly and host a live Q&A every week. Consider my brains yours for the picking! I’m also supported by two wonderful moderators, both of whom have extensive experience of divorce and supporting people through change. They’re on hand to help too.

As well as all that, you get access to a portal full of toolkits and training about how to navigate divorce. Everything from what to do first to communication with your soon-to-be-ex to how to broach financial settlements. Some of it is information you could probably find yourself searching Google, but this way you’ll have it at your fingertips, instantly. And, of course, you could always ask your solicitor, but they bill for every six minutes’ work, so it adds up!

You get to offload

Everyone in The Absolute Academy gets it. They’re going through divorce themselves. You can show up with no pretence. It’s great to have your sister, or your best friend for support. But they will always come with baggage: they’re informed by their own experience. And they love you, it can be hard for them to see you upset.

Whether it’s frustration that the children are refusing to see their other parent, or doubting yourself about whether your soon-to-be-ex is being unreasonable, or admitting you just want to walk away, The Absolute Academy members have your back. We are all there for you. We’ll help you connect with your own strength, call out your soon-to-be ex’s BS and get your life back on track.

You get accountability

Divorce is hard. It’s not fun. And what do we do with hard, not-fun things? We avoid them. The trouble is, the more you avoid your divorce the longer you stay stuck. The more life you waste, and, often, the more money you waste, too. It’s absolutely vital to take charge of your divorce. Otherwise you’ll let your soon-to-be-ex take control.

Taking control doesn’t mean never stopping. It doesn’t mean taking your ex-spouse to the cleaners. It means making a plan of action, and taking steps forward. That includes resting. But the important thing is, it’s you setting your own agenda.

We all know that good intentions can fall by the wayside as life gets in the way. But The Absolute Academy means you have a place to go to stay on track. To declare your intentions and ask for support. To share your deliberations and update on your progress. To be seen, heard and validated.

Believe me, this makes all the difference. It doesn’t exactly make your divorce fun, but it makes it a whole lot more positive. And, it means you are much more likely to get on and do the things to get a settlement you’re happy with. As well as gain confidence along the way.

You are safe

There are so many online spaces these days. How do you know who to trust? You’re in safe hands in The Absolute Academy.

I’ve been working with divorcing women for a decade. I’ve worked as a lawyer, a mediator and a coach. I’m a High Conflict Diversion Specialist. I know what I’m talking about! And my trusted moderators are there to ensure The Absolute Academy remains a safe place for everyone.

It’s a private, secret Facebook Group so no-one will know you’re a member. And you can use a pseudonym in there if you want to.

You save money

One of the first things I tell people who have decided to divorce is to wait before instructing a solicitor. Why? Because they are expensive! And their expertise is in the legal process. The first steps you need to take for your divorce (unless you are in danger) are not legal ones. You need to get your head in order first. To get to grips with the emotional and logistical problems of separation. And to think about what you want and need from the future. A solicitor could advise you on all of this, but it would cost thousands!

When you’re in The Absolute Academy you’ll learn how to manage your own divorce process. You’ll learn when a solicitor is most useful, and which aspects you can handle yourself. You’ll understand whether you need to delegate to other specialists, such as financial advisers. By doing all of this you’ll put yourself in the best position to get a settlement that’s right for you, and you won’t be racking up costs in six minute intervals from the solicitor’s office!

Time is running out…

… to join The Absolute Academy at 2021’s rates. From 1 February it will go up to £225/month for new members. So if you know 2023 is the year you want to take charge of your divorce, get on with your future and feel proud of what you can do, come and join us today!


About Emma

Emma Heptonstall, the Divorce Alchemist is the author of the Amazon best-selling book How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self-study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. Emma is also the host of  The Six Minute Divorce Podcast. To find out more visit



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