5 common divorce myths and why you should ignore them

5 common divorce myths and why you should ignore them. There are so many myths that surround divorce. If you’ve not been divorced before, it’s hard to know what to believe. You hear lots of anecdotes and stories and its sometimes difficult to separate fact from fiction. But believing in the wrong stories and not checking the truth out for yourself can be a very expensive mistake, both emotionally and financially.

It’s Divorce Day!

If you’re reading this post today 8th January 2018, it’ll hardly have escaped your attention that today is apparently #DivorceDay. This phrase has been coined by the media who say it was coined by solicitors! But is there such a thing and does it really matter? No and no!

There is no such thing as Divorce Day! Here’s the thing. As a business, solicitors and coaches like me will follow media trends. The media are talking about divorce today… so why would solicitors be focused on their conveyancing offerings???! It’s just the way it is.

How does it impact you? It doesn’t. Not one bit. Perhaps your children are back at school today and you genuinely are thinking about divorce. If you are, you don’t need to be swayed about what’s going on on the TV or Social Media. If it’s not the right time for you to make big decisions, don’t make them. You can take just as long as you need.

January is Divorce month

The media says that the lawyers say it’s Divorce Day and January is Divorce month. As any competent lawyer who does their market research will tell you, January isn’t the busiest month for people looking for divorce advice – it’s actually September! Of course the media likes to work with seasons and with themes and so at the moment. we are all doing ‘Dry January’ going ‘Carb free’ and leaving our marriages. Yes, Louise and Jamie Redknapp received their decree nisi in December, but they’ve been separated several months, and they’re not actually divorced yet either! If January is a good time for you to divorce so be it. If not, wait.

Solicitors are so busy

All Solicitors have peek and troughs of being busy with particular types of business. Sometimes there are lots of ‘family’ clients, sometimes the conveyancing team are snowed under. But remember, businesses tend to tell you they are ‘so busy’ because they don’t want to tell you they’re not! So don’t get hung up on that. If your solicitor is pestering you to make decisions about proceeding, find another solicitor. A busy solicitor won’t be worrying about a file that isn’t open yet, but a solicitor who needs the fees will! I know which I’d rather choose.

It’s best to get divorced in January

New year, new single life? Hmmm. There’s no ‘best’ time to get divorced. You haven’t committed a cardinal sin if you promised yourself that you’d deal with your relationship in January, but frankly, now isn’t the right time for you. There are also advantages to separating at the start of the financial year, not at the end which may be right for you if you have property or other assets that may be the subject of sale or transfer.

If you don’t do it now, you’ll never do it

Do it when you are ready. Not when anyone else says you ‘should’. Getting divorced is a huge emotional, physical and practical upheaval. Even when it’s your idea and even if you are the most organised of people. Don’t underestimate just how challenging it is. So, ignore those myths, do your divorce only when you are ready!

To get you clearer on whether divorce is for you, you can download The Smart Woman’s Divorce checklist here:

I’m Emma Heptonstall The Divorce Alchemist and Author of the amazon best selling book How to be a Lady Who Leaves. I’ve featured in The Independent, The Telegraph, Marie Claire and on BBC Radio. I’m a former lawyer, family mediator and divorce coach for women who want to make smart emotional and financial decisions on divorce. You can email me at emma@emmaheptonstall.com or visit my website at www.emmaheptonstall.com

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