Introducing Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves
The most comprehensive programme for deciding whether to stay or leave your relationship. No more sleepless nights, second-guessing your future. Learn how to make this most important decision with complete confidence, and move forward with ease.
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Is ‘Should I Be A Lady Who Leaves’ for you?
You’re unhappy in your relationship. You feel ignored, lonely or bored. You think about leaving frequently, but fear holds you back. What about the children? How will I manage financially? How can I start again? Can I make it on my own?
You don’t quite trust yourself, yet you know there’s more out there for you. You long for connection, emotional intimacy and partnership – perhaps what you once had in this relationship.
What if there was a way to get it back?
You’re not ready to throw in the towel yet, but you know it’s time to look your future in the eye: explore all options, take action, face your fears and change the way you are showing up in your relationship.
If you’re…
- A driven career woman who has her life together in the workplace but struggling to get your needs met in your personal life
- A stay-at-home mum who feels invisible and have lost your identity in your relationship
- A woman who has experienced past traumas that are impacting your adult relationship.
- A woman who knows is pretty sure your relationship is over, but terrified about what happens next
- A woman who really doesn’t want her relationship to be over, but can’t carry on like this
…You’re in the right place.
Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves will give you the tools, inspiration and confidence to trust yourself in any decision that you make in your relationship. You might end up leaving, with grace and confidence. You might end up staying, with grace and confidence.
And the best thing is, the tools and skills you’ll learn can transform ALL your relationships, personal and professional, for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
By the end of Should I Be A Lady Who Leaves you will:
You’re unhappy in your relationship. You feel ignored, lonely or bored. You think about leaving frequently, but fear holds you back. What about the children? How will I manage financially? How can I start again? Can I make it on my own?
You don’t quite trust yourself, yet you know there’s more out there for you. You long for connection, emotional intimacy and partnership – perhaps what you once had in this relationship.
What if there was a way to get it back?
You’re not ready to throw in the towel yet, but you know it’s time to look your future in the eye: explore all options, take action, face your fears and change the way you are showing up in your relationship.
Deeply understand yourself and the road that led you here
To change what’s happening now, you need to learn how to observe and reflect on patterns you have followed in all your relationships with self compassion and empathy. You’ll learn tools to help you unlock your deepest held unconscious beliefs, and strengthen the most important relationship of all: with yourself.
Understand your relationship dynamic
You’ll learn how to assess your relationship with openness and curiosity. You’ll reflect through the lens of deeply understanding yourself, and uncover what strategies both you and your partner bring to the relationship to get their needs met
Know how to establish and maintain healthy boundaries
Boundaries are healthy habits. They speak to how you treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you. This powerful shift alone will change everything about the way you show up in all your relationships.
Understand your options
The unknown can be terrifying. Whether you stay or leave, there will be work ahead, but you’ll learn exactly what lies in store. So your decision will be fully informed, and you make your move with full confidence and clarity.
Trust yourself
Trust yourself: two small words with massive impact. When you have learned how to really, truly trust yourself, everything changes – forever. It means your decisions are built on a solid foundation of personal resilience, and a firm belief that you have all the inner resources you need to support you throughout your life.
Have a plan
You’ll have made your decision and pinpointed your exact next steps. Whether you’re recommitting to your relationship and need support with that reconnection, or you’re clear it’s time to leave and need help with the practical and legal implications, understanding your next steps builds confidence and provides your own individual road map to your future. And the peace of mind you’ve been craving.
Testimonials
“What I liked about you Emma is that you didn’t tell me what I should do. Instead you gave me the tools to make the decision that was right for me and the courage to take action “
“Emma is a coach of exceptional skill”
Enrol in Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves Today
A One-Time Payment of
£197
Enrol in Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves with 1:1 Coaching Today
(including 2 x 45 minute coaching calls at a massive 33% discount from the standard investment)
A One-Time Payment of
£397
Success Stories
Success isn’t about whether you stay or go, it’s about the outcome that’s right for you. It’s about looking your reality in the eye and taking action.
– Let me tell you about Angela. –
Angela came to me because she knew she’d made a mistake marrying Michael.
She’d wanted someone stable and calm (something she thought she wasn’t), but 8 years on, she was BORED.
Michael didn’t have the same zest for life she had.
Things came to a head over a solitary soggy courgette left at the back of the fridge.
Michael hated food waste and his meltdown when Angela dared bin the decaying vegetable was the last straw.
Angela knew things had to change.
But she didn’t know how.
Long story short: Angela got her divorce, and is back to being herself again. She travels several times a year and has sworn off courgettes for life!
Helen’s biggest struggle was letting go of the idea that the children she and her husband Stewart shared would be damaged by a divorce.
Helen’s mother had instilled in her that marriage was forever and you stuck it out for the sake of the children.
Helen needed support to understand that she was responsible for making decisions in her own relationship – not her mother.
Gradually Helen began to see that making good decisions for herself meant implementing boundaries with her mother, her husband and herself. (And, spoiler: her children were fine).r husband and herself. (And, spoiler: her children were fine).
She was lonely and miserable in her relationship. All they did was focus on building the business.
There was no passion or quality time.
Chen didn’t think the business was worth it, but she said Andrew wasn’t listening to her as he was too focused on the money.
When Chen learned the skills she needed to express herself without complaining or making Andrew feel attacked, he was able to hear what she was actually saying.
Chen wanted more of his time and attention for herself and not the business.
She wanted their relationship to be as important as building that.
Three years on both their relationship and their business are thriving.
What if Chen hadn’t been willing to do the work and decided to throw in the towel?
She and Andrew would probably have divorced.
What if Helen had stayed frozen with fear that she’d ruin her children’s life with divorce? She’d be stuck in an unhappy marriage, and her children would be picking up on that unhappiness too, because children aren’t stupid.
When you understand what you need, and get confident in making decisions, your life gets a whole lot better. Angela, Helen and Chen know this, and, deep down, you know it too.
What’s inside Should I Be A Lady Who Leaves?
If you do nothing else, this module has the power to change everything, both within your relationships and in every other aspect of your life. Because it gets to the heart of YOU. It’s like being your own detective, psychologist and coach: you’ll have a clear understanding of what drives you, what matters and what you really need from relationships.
Module Highlights:
- Understand your attachment style
- Create your own personal values hierarchy
- Learn what role trauma plays in your relationships
You’ll bring your newly-found self-knowledge to examine your relationship. After working through this module you’ll understand your relationship patterns, be able to specify how you know when things are going well, and how to communicate openly about what you want and need.
Module Highlights:
- Reflect on your relationship history
- Communication in relationships
- Do you both want the same things?
Now you have clarity on you and your relationship, it’s time to consider the options and opportunities open to you. Neither decision is easy to make, or implement. There’s work ahead, but it’s a whole lot more manageable when you understand what you need to consider.
Module Highlights:
- Emotional considerations of staying or leaving
- Practical and legal considerations of staying or leaving
- The impact of staying or leaving on your children
Flipping a coin, making a pros and cons list, asking your bestie: these are all ways to make decisions, and none of them are ideal! Module Four teaches you strategies to be confident in your decision-making so you can move forward with emotional freedom and clarity.
Module Highlights:
- Learn the structure of good decision making
- Weigh up your options
- Create an action plan
A decision without a plan leaves you hanging! In this module I’ll walk you through everything you need to do to calmly, rationally, take the next steps with your decision. Having a plan means you’ll know what success looks like and you’ll stay focussed even when things get challenging.
Module Highlights:
- Recommitting to your relationship
- Creating a divorce plan
- Seeing it through
Plus These Bonuses to Help You Become Your Best Self
A self-study guide to help you build trust in yourself. You’ll learn why developing trust in yourself is so vital for every relationship in your life. And I’ll share practice exercises to help you strengthen the trust muscle.
(A £67 Value)
What you’ll get:
- Self-reflective journaling prompts
- Exercises in learning to trust your gut
- Mastering your inner critic
What does a healthy relationship look like? What does it NOT look like? When you’re struggling with relationship doubts it’s hard to know. This checklist will help you diagnose the health of your relationship in an instant.
(A £67 Value)
What You’ll Get:
- Relationship green flags
- What give and take looks like
- Red flags to watch out for
Weekly podcast episodes specifically curated for Should I Be a Lady a Lady Who Leaves. Let me offer added guidance, support and encouragement as you work through the modules, so you stay on track and get the most out of Should I Be A Lady Who Leaves
(A £100 Value)
What You’ll Get:
- Weekly episodes to support each of the five modules of 5-10 minutes
- Bonus episodes to further enhance and support your journey
- Additional PDFs to support the podcast
Many women struggle to make decisions because they are in a high-conflict relationship. Recognising when you are in a high-conflict relationship is often challenging, but it’s crucial to getting the appropriate support and strategies in place to help you navigate your next steps.
(A £100 Value)
What You’ll Get:
- Recognising high-conflict personalities
- Understanding how to manage a high-conflict personality
- Strategies for support
When you enrol during this special, limited time period, you’ll get:
Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves
(A £999 Value)
5 in depth modules giving you all the tools you need to build trust, resilience and set boundaries for healthy decision making in this and ALL your relationships
Clarity of what a healthy, happy relationship is for you
The ability to trust yourself now and in the future
Full knowledge of what happens if you decide to stay or leave
A unique road map of your way forward, created by you
Enrol in Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves Today
A One-Time Payment of
£197
Enrol in Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves with 1:1 Coaching Today
(including 2 x 45 minute coaching calls at a massive 33% discount from the standard investment)
A One-Time Payment of
£397
The 7-Day Money-Back Guarantee
Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves is backed by a 7-day money back guarantee so you can experience the programme risk-free.
Investing in any programme is a big deal. You want to know that you’re investing wisely in a programme that will get you results.
I hear you!
That’s why when you know you can experience the programme benefits with the confidence of a money back guarantee. Put down your enrollment nerves and focus on diving deep into Module One and understanding yourself before making a final commitment.
If you don’t feel that Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves is for you by 4pm BST / GMT 7 days from the date of purchase, simply reach out, show me the work you’ve done on module one, and I’ll refund your investment. Full Details here.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Emma, you’re a Divorce Coach so are you going to talk me into leaving my partner?
I totally understand why you might think that, but here’s the thing. Healthy, happy relationships are good for you. Unhealthy ones really are not. Not all my clients leave.
Some find their way back to the relationship they always wanted because they learn what that looks like and the skills to nurture it.
Making the right decision is important, isn’t it? You want to know that you won’t look back with regret whatever you decide. You want to know that you are making the right decision for you. This programme will support you to do that by building your trust in yourself, and sharing details of all your options BEFORE you think about taking action. You’re in charge: all actions and timeframes are decided by you. Remember that you have lifetime access to the programme and any updates I make, so if life gets in the way, or your situation changes, you can access the materials whenever you need.
You can always book an appointment with me free of charge to discuss your needs here Book to chat with Emma
I’m not married, can I still use this programme?
Yes! This programme is about the decision to commit to a relationship or leave. It doesn’t matter whether you are married, in a civil partnership or just cohabiting, whether you are in a straight or same-sex relationship.
The emotional implications will be the same, and if you have shared finances or children, you will have some similar legal implications to a married couple.
I’m scared about what might come up for me
Feeling scared or anxious about change is normal. Will it always be easy? No. Will it be worth it? Heck yes! Each module is delivered weekly to help support you emotionally. Focus on one piece at a time. Learning to trust yourself will build resilience and confidence, so by the end of week 5 you have all the tools you need to make a decision which you can set in motion whenever you’re ready. If you want my support to stay focussed,
I’m offering 1:1 coaching at a heavily discounted investment to anyone who joins this programme.
How long do I have access to the course materials?
Access to the members portal including the videos, workbooks, PDFs and Podcast are yours, for the lifetime of the programme.
What format is the course content delivered in?
The programme materials are shared weekly as videos, with transcripts if you prefer to read, inside your members area.You’ll get your own login and password for the member’s area so you can access the course materials at any time. We do ask that your login is not shared, as membership is for you as an individual.
Will the programme be easy?
Seriously, considering the future of your relationship is rarely easy. But this is all about making it manageable so overwhelm or fear doesn’t hold you back from living life. This course is designed to help you build your trust, confidence and resilience so that when times get tough, you can follow your heart whatever your mood or emotional state.
How much time do I need to invest?
You’ll get out what you put in. If you invest an hour each week, you’ll get through the weekly materials. Once you’ve watched, listened to and read the materials, the real work of putting into practice what you learn begins. If you only dip into the materials, your progress will be slower. I strongly recommend that you make time to do the work – your future self will thank you for it. If you want my support to keep you on track, I recommend investing in the 1:1 coaching option.
How much does it cost?
Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves is £197. The additional investment in the coaching calls is £200 You can make a full payment option of £397.
Will my partner find out I’m in the programme?
We do not disclose the names of any members of this programme. However, we strongly recommend that you put your safety first and ensure that you are the only person who has access to your email account, Facebook account, web browser on either a mobile device or computer.
I am experiencing domestic abuse, is it safe for me to join this programme?
Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves programme is not designed specifically to support women who are experiencing domestic abuse (emotional, physical, psychological or financial). However, many of my clients are in high-conflict relationships and this is touched upon inside the programme.
Please book a call with Emma privately to discuss your particular circumstances so I can help you decide if this programme can help you. If this programme isn’t right for you now, I will recommend alternative resources.
What if I am unhappy with the programme?
I’m confident that you will be happy that you joined Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves, but if you don’t feel that Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves is for you by 4 pm BDT/ GMT 7 days from the date of purchase, simply reach out, show me the work you’ve done on module one and I’ll refund your investment Full Details here
Please note If you choose to cancel you will no longer have access to any of the programme resources.
Is this course for women only, or can men join too?
This course is currently only for women. In the meantime, there are other ways you can work with me simply click here.
I'm not in the UK, can I join this programme?
Yes. This programme is all about deciding to stay in your relationship, and you can work through it whenever you like.The next steps you take will be outlined in module 5 seeking guidance and support to continue your relationship or to leave and seek support with legal and family advice. You’ll need to research the divorce process in your legal jurisdiction, but this programme will give you clarity on your decision wherever you live and whether you are married or not.
How much is a Clarity Day with Emma?
A Clarity Day with Emma is a full day of 1:1 Coaching plus a written plan. The cost is £2500.
When you enrol during this special, limited time period, you’ll get:
Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves
(A £999 Value)
5 in depth modules giving you all the tools you need to build trust, resilience and set boundaries for healthy decision making in this and ALL your relationships
Clarity of what a healthy, happy relationship is for you
The ability to trust yourself now and in the future
Full knowledge of what happens if you decide to stay or leave
A unique road map of your way forward, created by you
Enrol in Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves Today
A One-Time Payment of
£197
Enrol in Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves with 1:1 Coaching Today
(including 2 x 45 minute coaching calls at a massive 33% discount from the standard investment)
A One-Time Payment of
£397
Still not sure?
If you’re thinking “this sounds amazing, but I’m still not 100% sure”, keep reading:
You should give Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves a 7-day risk free trial if you’re motivated by any of the following:
01: You badly want you back
Even though it’s scary to admit it, you know that you’ve totally lost yourself in this relationship. You’re lonely, frustrated and yearning for intimate connection. You’re ready to face the possibility that that might or might not be with your current partner but you’re done with waiting for things to be different.
02: You’re willing to face your own demons
Even though outwardly you lay a lot of the issues in your relationship at the feet of your partner, deep down you know that if change is going to happen, it starts with you. That feels daunting, but it’s a lot less daunting when you have a process in place to guide you through it.
03: You recognise there’s no perfect time and waiting is not the answer. It doesn’t get easier, it just gets later.
It doesn’t mean that you’re jumping for joy at the prospect of some sweaty conversations with yourself and your partner but you do know that 2024 is the time to finally get off the fence and make decisions about the future of your relationship.
Should I Be a Lady Who Leaves isn’t magic but it is transformative
No one can ever tell you what’s right for YOU. Unfortunately, you have to figure that out for yourself. And you already know that – you’re a smart woman. You just need to know how.
Whether you’re pretty sure that your relationship is over, or you want to try to stay together, you just want to stop driving yourself mad with indecision and feel in your heart and gut that the decision you make is right.
You know this is true: anticipation of a thing is worse than doing the thing. The same is true of this decision. I’m not going to lie: there’s work ahead whether you stay or leave. But your load will be lifted, you’ll be able to breathe, knowing you’ve made a decision that’s right for you, and is one you can move forward with confidently. Imagine how it feels to let go of all the anxiety, procrastination and frustration that has dogged you for months and maybe even years? Surely you don’t want to be carrying all that a moment longer?
Facing your fears is scary – and it’s also where you do the most personal growth. Ask yourself which is more scary – the thought of your relationship never changing or the thought of you being the one to change it?
You can do this, and with lifetime access to the programme you really can take this at your own pace with no pressure. I can’t wait to support you as you learn the skills that will change your relationships for the better, forever.
Love,
Emma x
Meet Emma, The Divorce Alchemist
Emma Heptonstall is the author of How to be a Lady Who Leaves - The Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready and a former lawyer. She is a practising trauma-responsive therapeutic Divorce Coach and Family Consultant with a specialism in high conflict diversion. Emma has worked with hundreds of women through their divorce: from making the decision to the Decree Absolute. She knows the legal, emotional, and practical landscape of divorce inside out. And she's here to support you to make the best emotional and financial decisions for you and your future.