Blue Monday: Are You Feeling It?

  Ah, Blue Monday – the date in January we’re at our most depressed apparently. The combination of gloomy weather, Christmas long past, unpaid bills from overindulging and January’s pay not yet here does indeed set a gloomy scene for the third week of January. As we discussed in a previous blog, January’s also a peak time for divorce planning.  This combination of feeling stressed out about life, de-motivated about lapsed New Year’s resolutions and yearning to do something about a bad marriage can make for an anxious, depressed time.  

Got the January blues?

  First of all, go easy on yourself! The Christmas and January period is a time of heightened emotions, when all around all we’re told to feel goodwill, have the perfect family gathering, and then start the year chipper and ready to take on the world. It’s easy to feel like a failure if that’s not what life looks like for you. Often, low moods are made worse when we compare where we want to be to where we are now. If your marriage is unhappy the difference between where your life is now and what you’d like can feel enormous. And that’s when overwhelm sets in. Let it. Just for a little while. Don’t push down your feelings of panic or fear about how much there is to do to get your life the way you want it. They are part of you and they deserve to be acknowledged. It’s a message to act.  

Do you know what overwhelm is most scared of?

  Sunlight. When you let your overwhelm out of the dark it loses its power. It would much rather lurk in the shadows, whispering to you. Don’t let it. Face it. Once you do that, you’ll see it’s not a big as it pretended to be. You’ll see you can feel overwhelmed and stand tall. The other thing about letting overwhelm come to the fore is this. It forces you to decide. You can either decide to push it down again, or decide to do something about it. That might mean you decide there’s nothing big you want to change. That actually, life just needs a gentle tweak to set things right. And that’s great. Awareness is the first step. Use your insight and take action! Or it means you realise you are worth more than your current malaise. That there is more to life and you want it. That life after divorce will be liberating.  

If that’s you, you need to Get Divorce Ready.

  When you feel overwhelm, you need someone to cut out all the crap. You need a shortcut through the wilderness that divorce often feels like. From my years of experience with clients, these are some of the questions they come to me with – usually all at once and with their heads ready to burst:

  • How long will it take?
  • What do I need to do first?
  • How do I choose a solicitor?
  • What’s the cheapest way to get divorced?
  • How do I know where I stand financially?
  • What if my soon-to-be-ex won’t play ball?
  • Will the children be ok?
  • What will happen to the house?
  • Do I have enough money?
  • Can my ex do x, y,z…

“Woah!” I say. One thing at a time. Divorce is a big deal, it doesn’t need you going into meltdown! What you need is support and information you can trust. And that’s what Get Divorce Ready is for. Get Divorce Ready is a group programme that gives you:

  • the steps you need, in manageable chunks in the right order – because it is possible to divorce on your terms without going into permanent stress and overwhelm
  • personalised support from me so you find the answers that are right for your situation – because every divorce is different
  • coaching to get you operating from a place of confidence and integrity – because divorce can be the start of a whole new, positive chapter for you, even as it tests you
  • a ready-made community of supportive women – because we all need to know someone has our back, especially people who get it.

Want to go from January Blues Bleugh to Divorce Ready Radiance?

It really is your time

As an introduction to Get Divorce Ready, I’m running my Webinar Get Control of your Divorce in 2019 on Wednesday 23rd January at 8pm. A replay will be available for 48 hours if you can’t make it live. You MUST register here to get access. In this webinar, we will cover:

  • How the divorce process works in England & Wales
  • The Five Facts (and choosing the best one for you)
  • Financial Disclosure
  • Finding the right lawyer for you
  • Getting Support with domestic abuse


The Divorce Alchemist

Emma Heptonstall, the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready. A former lawyer, Emma is a practising family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self study and group programmes. Emma is featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit

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