Letting Go In Your Divorce
How do I Know That I’ve Finally Let Go?
It’s unlikely that you’ll be able to put a date in your diary or circle your calendar as the date you will finally have let go. Letting go is a process. You may not feel ‘grief’ in its most raw form and you might. It’s entirely normal to grieve for the loss of your marriage even if its your idea, like you would the death of a family member, friend or pet.
Little by little, the pain will get less. You’ll stop feeling the emotional mood swings with such intensity. Feelings of anger, disappointment and frustration will subside. You’ll be able to recall and enjoy the happier memories of your marriage with fondness but they won’t be all consuming. One day you may just recognise that you have actual ‘let go’. Bizarrely, that may in itself feel a little weird and sad. Particularly when you can remember believing that the day would never come.
What Happens Next?
That’s up to you lovely! When you’ve finally let go, you’ll be able to make those decisions for yourself because this period of emotional turmoil that you are in right now, will be resolved. You’ll feel more certain about who you are, AND who you’re not. You will be clearer about what you’d like the next phase of your life to be like. You might even start dating again and being open to the possibility of meeting someone new.
For me, when I’ve truly let go of my beloved cat Potter, it’s likely I’ll get a kitten. Not to replace her, because she’s irreplaceable, just like my other cats Harry and Watson, but because I’m ready to move on and love another pet as much as I loved her. There’s no rush. It’ll happen when I’m ready.
Are You Ready To Let Go?
So, are you ready to let go? You’ll know immediately whether its yes or no. You might hear it in your self-talk or feel it in your body. If the answer is no, what’s holding you back? What would help you let go? If you aren’t sure, what do you think you’d say if you did know? If the answer is yes, what small step can you take today to begin that process?
I’m Emma, The Divorce Alchemist, I support ladies who leave make smart emotional and financial decisions on divorce. Sometimes my clients have already made the decision to leave, and sometimes my job is to assist them in making that decision – to support them to look at what’s stopping them. It might be because it’s not the right decision. It might be because they’re scared and fearful. Sometimes they struggle with letting go even when they want to.
Does that resonate with you? If so, you are not alone. The first step is to decide whether you want to stay or go. I wrote about this in my blog Should I Stay or Should I Go. I go into more detail in this free webinar that you can watch by filling in your details in the box below.