Read ‘How To Be A Lady Who Leaves’ For 99p!

Breaking news! The kindle edition of ‘How To Be A Lady Who Leaves: The Ultimate Guide To Getting Divorce Ready’ will be on sale for 99p! The powers-that-be at Amazon don’t tell me exactly when that will happen, annoyingly. But it will be over the Christmas and New Year 2021 period. So this blog’s all about how and why you should read How To Be A Lady Who Leaves for 99p.

Let’s start with you now. Christmas Day has come and gone. How was it for you?

Tune into what you need now

Did you get chance to relax and take time for yourself? Were you able to ride the waves of divorce grief, if that’s what you’re experiencing at this emotional time of year? There’s still plenty of Christmas holiday time left, so if you want to make sure you do get time to look after yourself take a read of my blog ‘Divorce Grief at Christmas’ here.

These days between Christmas and New Year are often when time loses all meaning. Days merge into one another on the sofa, with turkey sandwiches and chocolate biscuits keeping us going. Or maybe you’re striking out for a dose of fresh air on a bracing winter walk. Whatever you’re up to, these quiet winter days are time to replenish.

‘Replenish’ will have different meanings for all of us. Maybe you’re the sort of person who likes to feel as prepared and in control as possible. So the best way for you to replenish is to use this time to gently get on top of things – organise paperwork. Do some research. Get your divorce affairs in order.

Or maybe you’re the sort of person who needs to switch off the pressures and the ‘shoulds’ from the outside world for a while. Lose yourself in these hazy days. Everything can wait.

Both are totally valid approaches to the final days of 2020. Do whatever you need to do. In either case, bagging yourself a 99p copy of How To Be A Lady Who Leaves will serve you well.

Here’s how reading How To Be A Lady Who Leaves will help you get ready for divorce in 2021.

Make the right decision

Read How To Be A Lady Who Leaves – this book isn’t about convincing you to get divorced. How do you know whether you’re just crabby with your spouse after a tough year? Or whether it really is the end (and a brand new start)? It’s a crucial distinction and one that the book opens with. So if you’re thinking there’s hope for your marriage yet – get the book!

The early chapters will take you through a whole series of exercises and questions to help you make the right decision for you. And if you decide to work on your marriage, that’s great. The work you will have done in the book will give you some valuable starting points.

Get into the right headspace

In principle, divorce is simply legal administration. It’s paperwork that ends a legal contract between you and your spouse. In reality, it’s a hot, human, emotional mess. Of course it is. The decision to leave is never easy or painless; even if you’re 100% sure it’s the right one for you. It’s the second most stressful life event going, after the death of a child or spouse.

So this book doesn’t start with what forms you need to complete, or how to instruct a solicitor. It starts with you. It starts with your emotional health, your headspace and your vision for the future.

In the words of an Amazon reviewer: “So many friends had ideas based on hear-say as to how to leave my husband but I needed fact, support, clarity and compassion… this book had these in bucket loads!”

So, yes, we’ll get to the facts. We’ll get to how divorce works in England and Wales and how you can navigate that process as smoothly as possible. But this book is also about support and compassion. Don’t underestimate how much of that you need.

Get to safety

Divorce is a vastly different ballgame if you’re experiencing domestic abuse. The absolute priority is your safety.

How To Be A Lady Who Leaves dedicates a whole section to how to leave when you are in an abusive situation. And how to keep yourself and your children safe as the divorce process unfolds.

Create a to-do list that works

Getting divorced is not a sprint. It’s a marathon and it’s easy to run out of energy. The sheer juggernaut of the divorce process can have you diving for the duvet and procrastinating. But to get your divorce done, you need to keep chipping away.

Knowing the right order to do things is critical to keeping going. I will help you tackle everything in achievable steps, so you know you are making the progress you need.

Get a handle on your finances

Household finances can be messy. And they can be daunting, especially if your other half has mostly taken charge of the money. But, to be a lady who leaves you need to get a handle on your numbers. There’s no getting away from it.

And it doesn’t have to be scary. I take you through exactly what you need to do so you can plan for a secure, independent future. And she shows you how to organise your finances so you have everything in order for the courts.

What about the children?

The number one worry most of my clients who are parents have is how to support their children through the divorce process. From how to break the news, to how to decide living arrangements, divorce and children is a tricky, emotional mix. But, if you’re in an unhealthy marriage, ‘staying together for the kids’ is not a smart option – it doesn’t do you or them any good.

‘How To Be A Lady Who Leaves’ takes you through all the options for managing the situation when children are involved. From how to support their emotional needs as well as your own, to how to manage parenting decisions when you and your ex are no longer together.

Save money

The first thing many people do when they decide to divorce is to consult a solicitor. This is a huge, costly mistake. Why? Because a solicitor is simply there to process the legal side of divorce.

There’s an awful lot of work to do before you get to that stage. You need to know what you want and need for your future. You need to understand your financial situation. You need to be processing grief and building a support team around you.

Your solicitor should not be the entirety of your support team. Most solicitors are not counsellors, and using them as such is expensive and unsatisfying! So let this book guide you first. Get to grips with what you want and need. Understand what’s possible, and then find a solicitor who can help you with the legal side from a position of confidence.

Read How to be a Lady Who Leaves now!

As I said at the very start, the mysterious powers at Amazon have ultimate control over when the book goes on sale for 99p. So keep checking here!

And do spread the word – if you have friends or family members who have suffered this year and you think they might need this book, now’s the time to act!

Buying the book isn’t a nail in the coffin for your marriage, if you’re on the fence about it. It simply helps you make smart, informed choices about your future. It’s not only about doing divorce well – it’s about doing life well. Figuring out what you want and making a plan for it to happen.

Once I’m back in the New Year I’d love to help you as you make decisions about your divorce. Doors to my supportive, proactive membership community The Absolute Academy are always open – you can find more about that here.

And if you need a chat – book one in for January here.

For now – happy reading!

About Emma

Emma Heptonstall, the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self-study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit

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