There are so many reasons to join a divorce support community compared with going it alone: you find so many people who get it, who are making the same journey as you, and the support is on hand whenever you need it. But why choose The Absolute Academy? Here are five things to know about my private community for women who want to get their divorce done.
We are proudly small
Years ago I had a free Facebook group. I set it up as a space for women who had decided to leave to come together, and to get to know me and the work I do. It worked well for a long time: women felt supported there, and I connected with some fantastic clients. It grew and grew, and when it was at around the 1000 mark, I took the difficult decision to close it.
Why? Because I couldn’t support those women in a group of that size with integrity. Yes, I had a staff team who acted as moderators, and I still do in The Absolute Academy. But it’s important to me that if I’m putting my name to something, and if I’m offering a service to somebody, that I’m able to do it to the best of my ability.
And so The Absolute Academy is proudly small and perfectly formed. I won’t go over 100 members, certainly not in the foreseeable future. Members have access to me every single week in Q&As and a zoom call, which means you get to ask questions about your specific case and you get real support directly from me.
We don’t spouse bash
I’m all for letting off steam and recognising where your spouse has been a complete tool. There’s space for that. But we don’t have extended spouse bashing, however tempting that might be. Why? It might feel good at the time, to get everything off your chest. But it completely derails your divorce. Anytime you centre your soon-to-be-ex, you’re taking away power from yourself. Here’s what Mandy (not her real name) says about it:
‘It’s also important to me that Emma doesn’t allow man-bashing. In the community she allows people to share their stories but she doesn’t let us get stuck in man-bashing and ruminating and she guides us away from that because it really isn’t helpful.’
And I think that gives you a sense of me as a coach too. I am here for you, and want the very best for you, and that sometimes means setting boundaries. Which is exactly what I encourage you to do too!
We time travel
I’m a trauma responsive divorce coach. What that really means is that when we work together we work from two points in time: we look after the current you and we look after the future you. And this is so important. If you were only to focus on current you, you might never move forward with your divorce. And if you were only to focus on future you, you might ignore trauma or patterns that have the potential to trip you up in the future.
Strategy is about where you want to be. But we also have the present day reality to work with.
We have fun
The Absolute Academy is all about you getting to live your life on your terms. And who says that can’t include fun?! I’ll never forget the zoom call about sex toys…
You’re free to show up in the community as much or little as you need to. Some people rarely comment or post. Others use the group for accountability: ‘I’m going to send the email today and post in here when I’ve done it!’. As long as you’re respectful, there’s no wrong way to engage, and you’ll be part of a community where you belong, just as you are.
We know when it’s time to let go
Membership of The Absolute Academy isn’t forever. It’s about you navigating life before and during divorce. I certainly don’t boot you out as soon as you receive the Final Order – it’s fine to have time to decompress with people who understand, and can celebrate and commiserate with you.
But it goes against my values to keep people in the group when they no longer need it. I do keep meaning to develop an alumni community, because so many women have asked for it! Maybe next year… let me know what you think about that!
Want to work through your divorce with my support, and the backing of a community of women who are determined to take back their power? We’d love for you to join us!
Join the Absolute Academy from just £97 per month today!
About Emma
Emma Heptonstall, the Divorce Alchemist is the author of the Amazon best-selling book How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready, the online self-study programmes, and the newly released ‘Should I be a Lady Who Leaves?’. For More Information on Should I be a Lady Who Leaves? click here.
Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. Emma is also the host of The Six Minute Divorce Podcast. To find out more visit www.emmaheptonstall.com
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