Time to divorce now the children are back to school?
Can you guess when most women start thinking of divorce? It’s at two times of the year when things are ‘returning to normal’ after holidays…
That’s right. January and September. And September most of all – more people Google ‘divorce’ in September than any other time of the year.
Back to normal, back to reality?
September brings with it a change of season, a back to normal feeling, as schools open their doors again. Often with parents breathing a collective sigh of relief after the juggle of summer! It also brings in that opportunity for change and growth – to start evening classes, look to the future. And for some of us, that means facing the reality that our marriage is making us unhappy and looking at next steps.
Two paths of divorce
Usually, when people start considering divorce, they take one of two paths.
Path one: they spend hours googling, and maybe chewing over divorce with close friends. But the thought of actually doing anything about it is scary, and nothing happens. Back to the same old, same old. Or path two: they go full steam ahead and hire a solicitor.
Both of these paths can lead to misery. Why? Well, with Path one, it’s obvious – nothing changes. If you’re dissatisfied with your marriage and don’t do anything about it, you’re spending your life in a state of ongoing unhappiness. Don’t get me wrong – ‘doing something about it’ doesn’t have to mean divorce is inevitable. But, if, at the very least, if you can’t find a way to raise concerns with your spouse, nothing is going to change.
And Path two – what’s wrong with that? Well, as I describe in my book How To Be a Lady Who Leaves, before you decide to leave, you’ve got to get clear on what it is you want to leave. You’ve got understand why because otherwise you may simply end up taking all your problems and dissatisfaction with you.
Reading the book is a good start to taking control of your thinking around divorce. It shares the questions you need to ask yourself, what information you need to gather, when and if to instruct a solicitor (and it’s much later than you might think – as you can read about in this blogpost: 5 questions you DON’T need to ask your solicitor.
The #separationseptember state of mind
But actually making it happen can feel overwhelming. If you’ve got that #separationseptember state of mind then you most likely want to:
- Feel clearer about whether divorce is the right path for you
- Understand what your new post-divorce could look like
- Know what to do, in what order, to minimize the stress and costs of the divorce process
- Feel empowered to make decisions for the right reasons
- Feel confident to discuss the future with your spouse.
And that’s why I created Get Divorce Ready: a 6-week programme. It’s available as a self-study option, if you know that you just need the map, the signposts, the compass and you’ll take it from there. Because it’s self-study, you can start whenever you like – perfect for people who know what they want and just want to get on with it! You can check it out here.
Getting Divorce Ready
I also run Get Divorce Ready as a small group programme. I keep numbers low as I want it to feel a safe and nurturing space, and so I can get to know everyone and everyone can get to know each other. The video calls are recorded which means you can watch them over or catch up if you miss one. During those 6 weeks we go through the Getting Divorce Ready workbook together, with weekly video calls – held in the evening so you can get young children into bed first. It’s the ultimate in accountability, support and clarity.
This time, Get Divorce Ready is going to run as an 8 week course and will include two extra weeks on managing high conflict divorce, so whatever your situation, you’ll be covered. You will also get access to the self study content so you can watch the videos on how to complete your divorce forms, prepare for family mediation, build and enforce boundaries and much, much more. All designed to help you feel confident and in control.
Last time the programme ran, 4 out of 5 women proceeded with their divorce on their terms – with thousands saved and confidence high!
We start the first week of October. If you’re curious about the supported programme and want to be the first to hear about it, click here to join the wait list to find out more about the release date, the Early Bird offer and the Payment Plan available.
Emma Heptonstall, the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready. A former lawyer, Emma is a practising family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit www.emmaheptonstall.com