How to get divorce support
Is this you, or the you that other people think you are?
Perhaps it’s the you that you think you should be.
Are you really Super Woman, not needing divorce support?
Perhaps this picture feels more like you right now?
Either way, you’re scared out of your wits.
Here’s the thing, it’s normal.
That’s right, it’s normal, so stop giving yourself such a hard time.
It doesn’t matter if you’re usually the strong one, always in control in a crisis. This is your crisis and it’s time to do it differently.
It’s time to fess up, be vulnerable and get the support you need. It really is no big deal if you follow what I call the 3 A’s of Divorce Support.
Asking for support doesn’t reflect on your capabilities as a woman.
Make these 3 A’s of divorce support your mantra and you’ll move through your divorce feeling connected, in control and confident.
The 3 A’s of divorce support
Yes, earth shatteringly original that one I know, but it’s amazing how many women just like you don’t ask for support when their going through divorce.
The truth is, asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.
Yes. That’s right, a strength.
Asking for help says ‘I’m struggling right now and I could use some support’.
Being vulnerable is good for you! If you haven’t seen the work of Brene Brown on vulnerability do check it out. I’d love to hear your thoughts so do email me.
Being vulnerable is a gift. It allows…
When you allow other people to support you, you give both them and yourself a gift. The gift of supporting and being supported. Allowing is about connection. The disconnection you are experiencing in your marriage does not have to extend to your family and friends. They love you and want to take care of you.
Allowing someone to support you is only part of the story, being open to acceptance of that support and advice is another!
- Accepting who and where you are in your life right now is also part of that.
- Accepting that you need support.
- Accepting that you can’t do it all.
- Accepting that other people can support and advise you to make great decisions.
- Accepting that these feelings of anger, hurt and overwhelm won’t last forever.
The benefits of divorce support
By asking, allowing and accepting support during your divorce, you ensure that you don’t feel alone. You have a sounding board to let off steam. You have someone to help you take a step back and act rationally when you are tempted by emotion to react without thinking. You ensure that you move through your divorce rather than getting stuck because there’s someone supporting you to keep going – even when you don’t want to.
Sometimes our friends and family can be brilliant at supporting us. Other times such as during divorce, our friends and family become emotionally caught up in the divorce too. This can be disastrous!
Perhaps you have already experienced this?
You’re friends and family have become so emotionally involved that they are either giving you unhelpful advice or, you are comforting them through their sadness.
This is where Divorce Coaching can help you. Divorce coaches are independent. They are not your friend, sister or mother.
They are not emotionally involved in your divorce.
Their role is to support you to find out what you really want from your divorce, to give you the support and guidance you need and to ensure that you stay on track, moving through so you’re divorce moves forward saving you time, money and heartache.
I’m Emma The Divorce Alchemist. I support smart women like you to deal with their divorce confidently and with clarity. My free Ebook The Smart Woman’s Divorce Guide contains lots of tips to help you stay in control of your divorce before it gets control of you.