Is Get Divorce Ready Right For You Now?
2020 is not a year to waste your time or money. I don’t think I know a single person who hasn’t been affected by coronavirus, lockdowns, and all the other shenanigans. We all need to protect our emotional and financial resources – I do and you do too. So Is Get Divorce Ready Right For You Now? is for you if:
- You know you want to divorce, and,
- You don’t know whether joining Get Divorce Ready is right for you now.
I’ll take you through a series of questions to help you decide for yourself. And yes, it’s my programme, so I’m going to tell you it’s good! But, more importantly, previous clients will too. And most importantly, I’m going to be honest. Get Divorce Ready is not for everyone. Is it for you?
First of all – what is Get Divorce Ready?
Get Divorce Ready is an eight-week group programme, run over ten weeks with a break at Christmas.
It takes you through everything you need to go from clueless to confident in your divorce. With workbooks, checklists, videos and a private group so you don’t miss anything.
We have weekly coaching calls to get you on track and help you stay that way. And I’m available throughout the programme to answer any questions you have.
And as it’s a group programme, you have the support, wisdom and camaraderie of the other wonderful women doing it with you. Read more about it here: Get Divorce Ready
Now, let’s figure out if it’s right for you now…
Do you want things to change?
Get Divorce Ready does what it says on the tin. It gives you the coaching, the information and the support to get cracking with your divorce. I share the practical things you need to do (and when), as well as the all-important mind-set work to keep you focussed. You can do the work, week by week, so you’re divorce ready after 10 weeks. You don’t have to – you can take as long as you need – you have the workbooks and resources for life.
But to get the most out of Get Divorce Ready, you need to put the work in sometime soon. Joining the programme isn’t a substitute taking action. Only you can manage your own divorce.
Joining the programme can make sure you do it in the most efficient, most supported way possible. But, ultimately, it’s down to you to decide if you want things to change soon and make it happen.
Do you have lots of time?
If you have lots of time you might not want or need to join Get Divorce Ready. Why not? Well, if you have the motivation and the energy, as well as the time, you can work through the legal process by yourself.
You can piece it together. I don’t have hidden secrets about the legal system – that would be corruption! So the information is out there. What Get Divorce Ready offers is everything you need (without any red herrings to throw you off track) in one place, in the right order. It also offers you my time and expertise both as a coach and former lawyer – I’m on hand throughout the programme and there are no stupid questions.
So I don’t want to scare you into joining. There’s a tonne of free information on my blog (all searchable). And you can find out about the legal process with a quick search – or start at the gov.uk pages here.
But if you want to get your divorce done, for real, with confidence, then Get Divorce Ready is likely to save you a whole lot of time.
Do you have (the right) support around you?
Divorce is a lonely business. It’s not just about grief at the end of your marriage – though that’s a big deal, and important. It’s other people’s reactions. You may lose friends through your divorce. Some because they choose your ex over you. Some because they drift away when the going gets tough. Others because they don’t know what to say or do and the easiest thing is to hide.
And the friends who stay? Well, they’re fab. They’re your true friends, the ones you can rely on for support. Except – they will bring their own stuff with them. Your friends who have already got divorced will have advice to throw at you. But their experience of divorce is not yours.
Other friends will tell you to take better care of yourself/put the children first/ give your ex hell because they’ve done something wrong.
All very well-meaning of course. But not what you need.
Or, at least, you need more than that.
It’s great to have friends to rage and vent with. But you also need people who know how the courts work. Who have the experience and expertise to guide you if and when you need it. Like me! You get weekly group calls with me to work through the process and ask any questions.
And you need a peer group – people who truly get it. Who know what it’s like because they’re in the middle of it too. Get Divorce Ready will give you that too. You’ll be in a secret facebook group to share thoughts, experiences, wobbles and breakthroughs.
Do you have lots of money?
It’s natural to think the cheapest way is DIY. And it can be – if you have the time and can get the know-how to navigate divorce solo. But sometimes it’s wise to invest. As times are tough right now I would never encourage you to invest in something unless you’re confident you are going to get back more than you put in.
If you have lots of money, you don’t need to worry about that so much. You can experiment and see what works for you. You might try a few solicitors, a few different private coaching sessions, get some independent financial advice.
But if money is tight, you need to spend it wisely. That means only engaging a solicitor if and when you need to (their hourly rate is more than the monthly cost of my membership!). It means knowing when to spend and when to hold back. It means understanding your finances for yourself. I can help you with all of that. But don’t take it from me. Here’s what one of my clients, Lucy, says:
From the moment I realised that my marriage was over, I have been terrified, mainly because I had no idea what to do next or how much it was going to cost me. Having been a stay at home mum, I didn’t have the safety net of my own income. Not only has Emma saved me a small fortune by avoiding unnecessary solicitor visits, she has also equipped me with the knowledge I need and the confidence to drive things forward and to ask for what I really want. If you are questioning the cost, don’t! She is worth every penny and pays for herself in the money she saves you and the voice of sanity she brings amidst the chaos.
So have a think about your money and your time. Having a supported, step-by-step programme like Get Divorce Ready is likely to save you a lot of both.
Do you want answers?
We all struggle with uncertainty. We all want to know what the right choice is.
The bad news is, I can’t tell you exactly what’s right for you. Every divorce is different. Your divorce is unique to you. You will have to make your own decisions about what’s important, what to let go of, what to hold onto.
The good news is I can coach you to make wise choices. And I will provide you with answers about how to navigate the legal process as smoothly as possible. So if you’re looking for answers, know that in Get Divorce Ready you will get the answers you need. Either from yourself or from me.
Now some questions I imagine you’ve got for me…
What time do I need to commit?
We have weekly zoom calls, which are recorded, so if you can’t make it you still get to benefit. These are an hour long.
I also provide you with weekly workbooks. These take you through step by step what you need to do to get things organised, make decisions and have the information you need at your fingertips.
Depending on how much you know and have in place already, these will take between 1-2 hours. You have them to keep, and we have a break over Christmas so you can catch up if needed.
How do I join? And how much does it cost?
For the first time ever, I am offering Get Divorce Ready FREE to women in The Absolute Academy, my membership community. So all you have to do is join! And once you’re in you get so much more than the Get Divorce Ready programme. There’s:
- Weekly Q & As
- Weekly Zoom chats
- Discounts on my other coaching services
- A bank of resources, such as planners, to use as you need
Plus a fantastic community of women who are where you are, or who’ve been there recently. Honestly, I love being in there. It’s a caring, positive, supportive and motivating space.
The Absolute Academy costs £147 per month. Less than many solicitors’ hourly rates. There is a minimum commitment of 4 months, to ensure you get the most from the community. After that, you stay or go, as you need.
I have people who’ve already got their Decree Absolute who have stick around because they get so much support! And I’m happy to have them. But it is not intended to be a ‘forever’ membership. It’s just for when you need it, and I happily wave you off when you’re ready to fly!
I hope that’s helped you work through whether Get Divorce Ready is right for you now. If it is, great! I’ll see you in The Absolute Academy and we’ll take it from there: get started here.
And if you’ve still got questions, just get in touch and I’ll help if I can.
Emma Heptonstall, the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready. A former lawyer, Emma is a family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self-study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit www.emmaheptonstall.com