What to do when your divorce throws you a curved ball

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date published

13th March 2015

written by

Emma Heptonstall

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date published

13th March 2015

What to do when your divorce throws you a curved ball?

Sometimes everything seems to be going just great. Just the way you’d planned. And then, boom, life goes pear-shaped. But what to do when your divorce throws you a curved ball?

I’ve had that this week in my life. And it’s knocked me for six I can tell you.

I’m writing this blog in the Coffee shop of my local hospital. I had to dial 999 in the middle of the night as my mother was vomiting fresh blood. It was scary and confusing. It’s still not clear what’s wrong with her 3 days on and it’s not clear what’s going to happen.

If you’re like me, you like to know what’s going on and what’s going to happen next when things are out of control. If you’re like me, you can be light and playful and care free when other things around you are ok. But when things go wrong, you find comforting in ‘knowing’.

you have to dig in and keep going

You might feel like that in your divorce now. Divorce is scary and confusing and it can feel like the end of your world. The thing is, like me you have to dig in and keep going. I know that my mum needs me to be strong for her. Even though she’s a tough woman who has had cancer 3 times, I know that behind the bravado she’s scared. Really scared.

So to ensure that I stay strong, I make sure that I chat with my friends and take sometime out to relax. Writing this blog is me focusing on something other than endoscopes and blood transfusions.

It’s not always easy and I know that this situation won’t last forever (it feels as if it will right now) , so I need to keep supporting women through their divorce because that’s what I do, it’s what I’m good at. That might be from writing a blog or sharing on Facebook or having a quick pep talk or full on   1:1 session. The thing is, I’ve taken a few days out to get my head around all that has happened and put strategies in place to deal with the situation. I know that this is ok. I don’t have to be Superwoman. I just need to be aware of where I’m at and what I need.

The Divorce Alchemist Divorce Coach is here for you

It’s ok for you to do the same. If you’d like to chat with me and ask me questions about divorce, you can call me on Thursday 19th March 2015 from 8-9pm. We can Skype or FaceTime if you prefer. I won’t give you specific legal advice, your lawyer will do that, but I can give you legal information, tell you what your options are and explain them to you. I can help you get clear on whether divorce is right for you. If you just want to off load that’s also fine. There will be no charge for my time.

Divorce coaching enables you to be specific and clear about the help and support you need right now. As I live in the UK, I’m lucky that my mother is being cared for by the amazing NHS. They are using all their resources to support her to get well. I’m no doctor but I can offer you my time and a listening ear. So use me, I’m here for you. I know how sometimes when things are scary and confusing you just want to offload to someone who’ll listen without setting out on a mission to fix it.

Divorce coaching allows you the time to speak with someone who knows the system and understands your frustrations.  Unlike going for general coaching, or even counselling, we can drill down and get you sorted quickly so you can move forward.

Remember, divorce is just a process, it’s not the whole of your life.

I’m Emma The Divorce Alchemist. I’m a Divorce Coach with a difference. You see, unlike most Divorce Coaches, I’m not divorced. I’m not recovering from my own divorce and I’m not working through any unresolved issues. I believe that your divorce is as unique as you are. with my legal and coaching experience, I can support you to move forward, achieve the results you want in your divorce and support you to come through as the smart, confident woman that you are.

Remember, you can download your free copy of The Smart Woman’s Divorce Guide to support you, and if I can help you, do get in touch.

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